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Updated: 9 min 59 sec ago

BREAKING: DMX Rides a Sling Shot in Orlando

Tue, 2014-07-29 17:31

Rapper DMX lets down his tough front while riding a roller coaster. Towards the end he realizes there's a camera in front of him. Seems like it was a ruff ryde. 

Also:

Here is Every Smarmy Upworthy Video Ever

Tue, 2014-07-29 17:29

Cracked tackles the questionable emotional clickbait methods of Upworthy in this parody video, and you won't believe what happens next (And next. And next).

Surely This is the Worst "Price is Right" Bid Ever

Tue, 2014-07-29 17:27

$5000 (plus $1) for an air hockey table? Come on down...to a basic economics class!

Girl Eats Potato Chips Off Train Floor in NYC

Tue, 2014-07-29 16:23

For those of you who live in areas without public transportation, eating off the train floor is beyond a no-no ... it's an absolute, no way in hell, never ever that would never even cross your mind as an option. Actually, no, you don't h...

Little Girl Can't Handle That Her Brother Must Grow Up

Tue, 2014-07-29 16:13

There are many truths to the world that are just too shocking for the mind of a child to handle. Your parents are Santa Clause, professional wrestling is fake, and possibly the most difficult -- not even cute babies remain babies forever. This little girl named Sadie just can't handle that kind of truth bombshell. 

Source: alexmiller

Sadie better enjoy those chubby little cheeks and that toothless, drooling smile while she can. Because one day, baby bro is going to be an annoying know-it-all teenager. THE. WORST. 

...

How to Walk a French Bulldog in the Summer Heat

Tue, 2014-07-29 15:47

Sometimes owning a dog can be a drag.

Jake and Amir: Gum

Tue, 2014-07-29 14:00

Chew on this.

The Bizarre Truth about Purebred Dogs (Why Mutts Are Better)

Tue, 2014-07-29 00:19

Okay, I get it. You love your purebred bulldog! Who could resist that loose skin, those stubby legs, and that adorable underbite? Well, I hate to break ...

The Bizarre Truth about Purebred Dogs

Mon, 2014-07-28 20:00

Okay, I get it. You love your purebred bulldog! Who could resist that loose skin, those stubby legs, and that adorable underbite? Well, I hate to break ...

George R.R. Martin Procrastinates a Little Bit More

Mon, 2014-07-28 18:15

In the sequel to George R.R. Martin Procrastinates, George R.R. Martin is back and avoiding writing Game of Thrones EVEN HARDER. Spoiler alert: There's not much to spoil.

Finally, the Smashmouth x M83 Mashup We've Been Waiting For: Allstar City

Mon, 2014-07-28 16:33

If teen music from the 90s and teen music from now had a baby, this is what it would sound like.

Awesome Whiteboard Illustration of Every Weird Al Album Cover

Mon, 2014-07-28 16:29

2014 is the summer of Weird Al Yankovic and the internet is still recovering from his onslaught of eight days of new videos. If that wasn't enough, Weird Al's album, Mandatory Fun, brought him his first #1 record after 30 years of putting out albums. 

TrueScribe Videos was the animation team behind Weird Al's "Mission Statement" video and wanted to offer up their gratitude to him with a whiteboard illustration tribute of all his albums. 

For visual reference, here's Al's 14 album covers below. 

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Walmart's Non-Melting Ice Cream Sandwiches Can't be Trusted

Mon, 2014-07-28 15:37

One of ice cream's most notable characteristics is that it will eventually melt. Walmart has evidently figured out a way around this through some sort of black magic sorcery and created non-melting ice cream sandwiches. I'm not really sure if I should be elated about this or scared. Right now I'm leaning more towards scared, but humans always fear what can't be understood.

A radio station in Souix Falls heard from one of their listeners that Walmart's ice cream sandwiches are invincible to heat and the station decided to do their own test. Sure enough, the ice cream sandwich remained relatively solid for over an hour in 80 degree heat. 

<iframe width="640" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/SozZHZAWS64" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

This could be a prank, but then again, maybe Walmart's crack team of scientists/witches have figured out how to make ice cream even more perfect than it already is. There's always the third possibility though: Walmart ice cream sandwiches aren't filled with ice cream at all, but instead some sort of white mystery glop. 

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How the Best Doctor Ever Gives Shots to Babies

Mon, 2014-07-28 15:30

We need tissues! We need tissues! The coolest doctor since... Doctor Who makes a baby laugh while getting shots using some clever misdirection. Warning: not for the bitter hearts.

An Episode of Seinfeld with No Jokes, All Plot

Mon, 2014-07-28 14:46

You can take all the jokes out of Seinfeld, but you can't make it not funny.

Secret Cat Meetings Usually End Like This

Mon, 2014-07-28 12:35

Mittens, you son of a bitch! We agreed to a truce!

Roomba Knife Fight is a Drunken Idea Come to Reality

Mon, 2014-07-28 12:18

Brilliant plan! A knife fight between two autonomous robotic vacuum cleaners is as interesting as you would imagine. Doing household chores has never been so dangerous.

Lock the Taskbar

Mon, 2014-07-28 12:16

I guess The Clash were weirdly way ahead of their time.

Puppies Rolling Down Hills Compilation

Mon, 2014-07-28 11:40

What's more adorable than puppies? A puppy rolling down a hill. What's more adorable than a puppy rolling down a hill? A compilation of puppies rolling down hills.

Obama's Terrible Secret

Mon, 2014-07-28 11:09

From the people who brought you Charlie the Unicorn, FilmCow now gives you scathing political satire. Still more believeable than Fox News.