TSG has seen some wild police reports, but this one from Roy City, Utah is particularly bizarre. Michele Opheikens, a 30-year-old high school teacher, was just busted for promising students better grades in return for them providing her with prescription painkillers like Percocet, Darvocet, and Loritab. Opheikens's alleged pill lust now has her facing burglary and drug possession charges. The names of student witnesses were redacted by the Utah cops. (4 pages)

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