BACKSTAGE RIDER: Cutout Bin

Dustin Diamond

Now that he's opted for an exciting career in homemade porn, perhaps Dustin Diamond will be able to book more personal appearances during which he regales audiences with stories from his days as Screech on TV's "Saved By The Bell." If that happens, promoters nationwide will have to adhere to rules promulgated in the actor's contract rider.

The 29-year-old Diamond, you see, is very strict when it comes to his billing, which should not be Screech-centric, since that was "one of many characters that Artist portrayed earlier in his career." In fact, violations of Diamond's billing policy will result in a promoter being levied a $100 fine for every offending ad, flyer, or marquee. Other Diamond demands include "one well-lit parking space" at the venue, two pints of "chilled" chocolate milk in his dressing room, and round-trip airfare. "Artist," though, "will not fly stand by." And when deplaning, he is to "be met at the airport gate with a sign that says: 'DIAMOND.'"

The rider also notes that Diamond does two types of shows: stand-up performances and lectures. When he's telling jokes (some of which are blue), "You are getting a mature Dustin Diamond not Screech," the rider notes. During a lecture, Diamond speaks about breaking into the business and offers behind-the-scenes stories from "Saved By The Bell." He will also do "the Screech voice, face, and walk." (3 pages)

Comments (2)

How many people would be in attendance at a Dustin Diamond show? Five, perhaps eight? All of whom demanding that he just act like Screech, and rapidly losing interest after he refuses to do so, because Screech was "one of many characters he has played." In order to save his show, he knocks 'em dead with his Screech, but by then it's too late, and all but one person has left, who proceeds to yell out "Do Doogie Howser!"
Love that he wants a "detailed, typed-out script provided in advance" so he will have a "guideline." No, Dustin, a guideline is perhaps an outline, or bullet points or program order. A detailed, typed-out script is just the opposite of a guideline! This guy is a total ass.. I can't imagine anyone would pay to see him or hire him. Good for him for not flying stand-by. Stand proud, dude.

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