By now, most music fans realize that chart-topping R&B singer Akon is a tool. And that impression is only reinforced by the performer's 2008 tour rider, excerpts of which you'll find on the following pages. The make-believe gangster demands that concert promoters secure for him a "local recreational facility" for a minimum of "two (2) private hours." Oh, and he also needs access to boating and jet skiing activities. Akon (real name Aliaune Thiam) also notes that he "shall not be searched in any manner whatsoever" by security, nor shall he be "stopped or delayed in any manner as he enters the venue through any metal detectors." On the catering front, Akon's dressing room must be stocked with, among other items, one pound of "Fresh Bing Cherries," fresh-baked Oatmeal and Sugar cookies, three containers of "Tangerine or Mango Altoids," and, of course, a $300 bottle of Ace of Spades champagne. Additionally, Akon "requires a Juicer and Blender for juicing and making smoothies." (5 pages)

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