Colorado Man, 34, Delivers Best Line Ever Uttered By A Drug Suspect

“Of course I have cocaine up my nose. It’s Aspen!”

That is what Eliphalet Miller Ford IV, 34, declared after cops confronted him early Monday as he allegedly prepared to snort a line of cocaine while sitting on a public bench in the Colorado ski mecca’s downtown area

According to an arrest affidavit, two patrol officers approached Ford and Laurel Titus, 24, around 2:10 AM after hearing “what sounded like a plastic card striking the stone surface of the bench.” Ford told the cops that the duo was “just hanging out smoking a cigarette.”

But Officer Andrew Atkinson noticed that Ford was crumpling a rolled-up $10 bill in his hands, and that there appeared to be a line of cocaine on the bench. “There were also two credit cards on the bench not far from the powdery substance,” the affidavit notes.

When asked about the substance, Ford (seen above) reportedly swiped the powder off the bench with his right hand.

After handcuffing Ford, Officer Atkinson pointed his flashlight up the suspect’s nose, where he spotted a "white cakey substance." After Atkinson declared that he believed the substance to be cocaine, Ford replied, “Of course I have cocaine up my nose. It’s Aspen!”

Officers subsequently recovered a folded piece of paper containing cocaine that Ford had clenched in his hand. When asked if Ford was using cocaine, Titus, who was not busted, told Atkinson, “He may have had some.”

Ford, charged with narcotics possession and resisting arrest, was booked into the Pitkin County jail, from which he was later released on a $2500 personal recognizance bond.