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    A 39-year-old Florida man battered his 78-year-old girlfriend during an argument over an unpaid DirecTV bill, according to police.

    Investigators charge that David Mann and the victim quarreled Tuesday afternoon “over money and the bills not being paid.” When the woman sought to leave their residence in Bryceville, a Jacksonville suburb, Mann allegedly “pushed her to the bed and put his hands on her neck for a few seconds.”

    The confrontation ended when Mann’s mother “yelled from the other room and the suspect got off the victim.” A deputy reported noticing a “small red mark on the victim’s chest.”

    The precise nature of the pair’s relationship is unclear. A Nassau County Sheriff's Office report quotes the victim describing Mann as her “live-in ex-boyfriend,” while Mann himself refers to the septuagenarian as his “wife.” A sheriff’s deputy noted that the duo was not married, “but are in an on and off again relationship.”

    Mann, seen above, was arrested for battery on a person over the age of 65. He was also hit with a second felony when cops discovered shotgun shells and .22 caliber bullets inside the home. Mann, who is on probation for trafficking in stolen property, is not allowed to have any ammunition in his residence.

    Mann is being held in the Nassau County jail on the felony raps. A judge has ordered him to have no contact with the victim and he must stay at least 500 feet away from the Bryceville property.

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    Meet Willie Edwards.

    The 18-year-old appeared ready to repel all manner of foes when recently arrested for driving an unregistered vehicle.

    Before being booked into the Manatee County jail, an incident report notes, the Florida man’s “purse was searched” and yielded two cans of pepper spray and two cans of fart spray.

    The incident report does not indicate why Edwards needed all those noxious sprays (or why just one fart spray would not suffice). Pictured above, Edwards, a Bradenton resident, was relieved of his array of sprays, which police “marked for safekeeping.”

    Free on $120 bond, Edwards is scheduled for an August 22 court appearance on the misdemeanor charge.

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    A trio of New York City daredevils--surely soon to be in the custody of the NYPD--filmed themselves riding atop a series of subway cars as trains barreled through Brooklyn and Queens.

    In videos posted to YouTube over the past three weeks, the train surfers are seen running, action movie-style, from car to car.

    In a clip posted July 14, the surfers hop onto the roof of a subway car from an overhang at the aboveground Avenue H station in Brooklyn. At one point, the future defendants have to quickly duck down to avoid being decapitated by an overpass.

    In a video posted Wednesday, the young men are seen riding atop trains traveling in Queens (at night and during the day). At times, one surfer is seen waving at straphangers waiting for local trains. He also made sure to pose for a video selfie, as seen in the still at right.

    The August 8 clip, complete with a jaunty soundtrack, can be seen above.

    The videos were uploaded to an account bearing the name “Jack Sutton” and include a “big thanks to @annie.kerner for helping us film.”

    While there are few comments on the YouTube page, one does sum up the likely reaction of most New Yorkers: “I hope you guys fall and die. But I also hope your deaths don't disrupt service.”

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    Meet James Dylan Jordan.

    A married couple was enjoying a Sunday evening out at a Japanese steakhouse when a tipsy Jordan, 24, “began to undress and dance erotically in front of” the female half of the duo, Florida police report.

    Distressed by Jordan’s impromptu striptease, Jami Carpenter (who was accompanied by her husband Christopher) advised Jordan to leave the Kobe Japanese Steakhouse in Clearwater. In response, Jordan “became belligerent and began calling her fat” and threatened to fight her spouse.

    Jordan was subsequently arrested by a Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office deputy for disorderly conduct in an establishment, a misdemeanor. He was freed from the local jail after posting $150 bond. Jordan’s rap sheet includes multiple convictions for possession, sale, and trafficking of narcotics (cocaine and Oxycodone).

    Thankfully, a criminal complaint does not further describe the erotic dance Jordan allegedly performed inside the eatery (pictured below).

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    An unscientific survey has concluded that more and more young people are treating their mug shot sessions as if they were posing “for the ‘Gram.”

    For example, meet Tabitha Reitano.

    The 19-year-old was arrested last week in Miami for disorderly intoxication, battery, and resisting arrest (charges for which Reitano--now free on $3500 bond--has pleaded not guilty).

    When Reitano was booked into the county jail, she gave it her social media best when posing for the above mug shots (click to enlarge). All that was missing was a sideways peace sign.

    Reitano is scheduled to be arraigned on August 28, according to court records

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    A corn dog thief is on the loose in South Carolina, police report.

    A Myrtle Beach woman told cops that she returned to her home yesterday afternoon and found a male intruder “just inside her door eating a corndog.” The 30-year-old victim said that she recognized the man as someone she had met last year (but whose name she did not recall).

    When confronted by the homeowner, the suspect “said he was hungry and stopped by to get something to eat,” according to a Myrtle Beach Police Department report.

    The suspect peddled away from the crime scene on a bicycle owned by the woman, who told cops that her phone was also missing.

    In a bid to identify the intruder, an officer processed a State Fair Corn Dogs box for fingerprints. However, the corn dog container, which was found on the floor, provided "no viable prints."

    Police described the suspect as a black male between the ages of 35 and 45. If apprehended, he faces burglary and breaking and entering charges.

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    Freedom will not soon be ringing for Liberty Bell.

    Bell, whose antics graced these pages in late-March, was arrested Thursday after allegedly pummeling the female public defender assigned to represent the 34-year-old Illinois resident.

    According to police, Bell was meeting with her lawyer in a courthouse cubicle prior to a court appearance when the attack occurred. The victim was left with abrasions and a pair of broken glasses.

    Seen above, Bell was arrested earlier this year after locking herself out of an auto that she had allegedly stolen. While free on bond in that case, Bell was arrested in late-June for stealing a March of Dimes donation jar (for which she was locked up in lieu of $30,000 bond).

    Bell will be charged with a misdemeanor count for the courthouse battery since the victim did not want a felony count filed against her client, according to the Belleville News-Democrat.

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    The jackass who is seen in a viral video taunting a bison in Yellowstone National Park was arrested last night.

    Raymond Reinke, a 55-year-old Oregon resident, was collared after officers responded to a disturbance at a hotel inside Glacier National Park in Montana. 

    During the past week, Reinke was first arrested on July 28 for being drunk and disorderly inside Grand Teton National Park in Wyoming. Reinke, seen in the above mug shot, was later released on bond from the Teton County jail.

    On July 31, Reinke was cited for failure to wear a seat belt while in the passenger seat of a vehicle (National Park Service rangers reported that Reinke was argumentative and appeared intoxicated).

    Investigators believe that Reinke encountered the bison after being ticketed on the seat belt charge. Upon receiving visitor complaints about the animal being harassed, Yellowstone rangers located Reinke and issued him a citation requiring his appearance in U.S. District Court.

    When video of the bison incident (seen below) surfaced, prosecutors moved to revoke Reinke’s bond, triggering his arrest yesterday evening.

    Reinke is scheduled to appear in court this afternoon.

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    After getting busted for offering an undercover cop a happy ending, Florida masseuse Mi Suk Suk Bae is in jeopardy of losing her massage therapist’s license, according to state records.

    Bae, 61, was arrested in December after she "agreed to masturbate" an undercover Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office investigator, according to a police report. The 62-year-old masseuse, who worked at Jacksonville’s Victoria Spa, was charged with offering to engage in prostitution.

    Pictured above, Bae subsequently entered a no contest plea to a reduced charge of breach of peace. She was ordered to pay about $300 in fines and court fees.

    In light of Bae’s plea, the state’s Board of Massage Therapy this month filed an administrative complaint seeking to sanction the masseuse (who was first licensed in August 2012). Massage therapists, the complaint notes, “are required to maintain patient boundaries and cannot engage in sexual activity with their patients.”

    Bae, who also uses the surname Gladstone, faces a permanent revocation or suspension of her massage license, a “restriction of practice,” or lesser penalties.

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    Among the many things Donald Trump appears confused about these days is the matter of where his own father was born.

    During his just-concluded triumphal swing through Europe, the 72-year-old Trump told an interviewer that both his parents were born in countries that are now components of the European Union. “Don’t forget both my parents were born in E.U. sectors, okay? I mean, my mother was Scotland, my father was Germany," Trump said. "And you know I love those countries.”

    During a press conference during the NATO summit in Brussels, Trump again cited his familial ties to Europe. “I have great respect for Germany,” said Trump. “My father is from Germany.” He added that, “Both my parents are from the E.U., despite the fact that they don’t treat us well on trade.”

    But while Trump’s mother Mary was, in fact, born in Scotland in 1912, his father was not a German citizen. Frederick Trump--who would go on to distinguish himself by getting arrested at a KKK rally and conspiring with Donald to keep blacks out of their Brooklyn apartment buildings--was actually born in the Bronx in October 1905.

    TSG dispatched a team of investigators in search of the elder Trump’s birth certificate--and they cannot believe what they're finding! Actually, we sent a reporter to New York City’s Municipal Archives to look through old Department of Health microfilm reels.

    And, as seen above, there is a long-form birth certificate to prove it (click to enlarge).

    The elder Trump, who died in 1999 at age 93, was born in his family’s apartment at 539 East 177 Street. His parents, Fred (a barber) and Elizabeth, were German immigrants. Trump’s birthplace appears to have been among the many buildings seized via eminent domain to clear the way for the Cross Bronx Expressway, the handiwork of Robert Moses, Gotham’s original “master builder.”

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    A Florida man who tussled with a cop trying to arrest him for disorderly conduct later said that he "really enjoyed resisting" because it was like being on “Live PD,” a cable program that chronicles the mayhem police officers encounter on the night shift.

    A patrolman was dispatched yesterday to a home in Sebastian, a city near Vero Beach, after a 911 caller reported that a man wielding a golf club was chasing a woman.

    When an officer arrived on the scene, he encountered Rudolph Grant, 53, who smelled of booze and was screaming and cursing in front of the residence. After trying to walk away, Grant struggled as the cop sought to handcuff him, according to an arrest affidavit. Grant, the cop noted, tried to pull away from him, "tensed his arms with an attempt to get away from me," and finally “made his body go limp.”

    Due to his “erratic behavior,” Grant was subsequently placed in “mechanical restraints that were double-locked.”

    Before being placed into a squad car, Grant told the arresting officer that he “really enjoyed resisting. It was like being on Live PD.” The A&E program, a “Cops” progeny, bills itself as a documentary series covering “DUI checkpoint stops to high-speed chases, bar fights to gang shootings, domestic disputes to drug busts.”

    Grant, seen above, was charged with resisting arrest and disorderly conduct, both misdemeanors. He was released from the Indian River county jail after posting $1000 bond and is scheduled for a July 31 court hearing. Grant’s rap sheet includes a felony cocaine possession conviction.  

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    After scaling a barbed wire fence, a 19-year-old Georgia man ran across the tarmac at Atlanta’s busy airport and pulled himself up onto the wing of a Delta jet and began pounding on the aircraft’s windows as shocked passengers watched from inside.

    Jhyrin Jones, 19, was arrested yesterday afternoon minutes after running up to the airplane, which had just arrived from Miami. Jones, who had stripped to his underwear, gestured to passengers while ranting incoherently.

    As seen above, at one point, the agitated Jones mounted one of the jet’s wings and began pacing and banging on cabin windows (as travelers photographed his bizarre antics).     

    Jones was subsequently subdued by airport police and charged with trespassing, damage to property, and obstruction of law enforcement. He was also hit with a public indecency count for allegedly exposing himself to the plane’s stunned passengers and crew.

    During a court hearing this morning, a judge set Jones’s bond at $18,000. Jones is pictured below on a Hartsfield–Jackson Atlanta International Airport runway and in court today.

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    A man arrested for drunk driving told police that his dog was at the wheel when officers spotted the vehicle weaving across lanes on a Florida roadway, court records show.

    State troopers last month pulled over a 2005 Nissan after spotting the auto being driven erratically on Interstate 95 outside Port St. Lucie.

    When cops contacted the driver, they detected the “obvious and distinct odor” of booze “coming from inside the vehicle.” The motorist, Scott Garrett, 56, was lethargic, slurring his words, and had “red, very glassy, and blood shot” eyes. On the car’s front passenger seat was an open bottle of Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum.

    Before performing a series of field sobriety tests, Garrett, pictured above, asked troopers to give him a ride to his Jupiter home. Garret then sought to pin the dangerous driving on another party: “He then stated he wasn’t driving the vehicle but it was...actually his dog,” an investigator noted.

    Despite Garrett’s alibi, he was arrested for drunk driving (a breath test recorded his blood alcohol content at more than three times the .08 legal limit). A Florida Highway Patrol report noted that Garrett’s rap sheet includes three prior DUI convictions.

    Troopers reported that Garrett “was the only occupant” of the Nissan.

    Garrett, who has pleaded not guilty to the DUI count, is next due in court on July 30.