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    A Florida Woman battered a convenience store clerk with a pair of Slim Jim beef sticks after being accused of shoplifting, police say.

    Cops allege that Kacey Breazeale, 40, was confronted Monday afternoon by the female victim at the exit doors to the store, which is adjacent to a Citgo gas station.

    Breazeale “pushed the victim to get past” and then struck the 34-year-old clerk “with 2 Slim Jim beef sticks she was stealing,” reported Officer Joshua Kokaisel of the Pinellas Park Police Department.

    The clerk was not injured in the Slim Jim attack (and police did not seize the beef sticks as evidence). Seen at right, Breazeale reportedly admitted to the battery after being read her rights.

    Charged with battery, theft, and resisting a merchant, Breazeale is being held in the county jail in lieu of $2650 bond.

    Breazeale, who is alternately described as a transient and a St. Petersburg resident in court records, has a lengthy rap sheet that includes several state prison stays and convictions for cocaine possession, burglary, trafficking in stolen property, and theft.

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    A 19-year-old motorist who admitted driving his Honda 120 mph on an Iowa interstate told cops that he floored the vehicle last night “because a good song came on his stereo,” according to a court complaint.

    After a witness called 911 to report a reckless driver was speeding and “swerving all over the road” a sheriff’s deputy spotted the suspect vehicle as it flew past him at 100 mph around 9:15 PM.

    When the car was subsequently pulled over more than two miles up Interstate 380, driver Nicholas Bernard reportedly “admitted to going 120 mph at one point.” Bernard, seen at right, explained that he reached the top speed “because a good song came on” the stereo in his 2006 Honda Accord EX.

    Bernard was only facing a speeding citation when he opened the glovebox to retrieve registration and insurance records. But then a deputy spotted a “large amount of marijuana” in plain view in the compartment. A subsequent search of the vehicle turned up a smoking pipe and other drug paraphernalia, cops report.

    Bernard was charged with a pair of misdemeanor drug counts and booked into the Johnson County jail, from which he was released this morning.

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    A Grinch ransacked a nativity scene, stealing a baby Jesus figurine and other religious items which were replaced with a “tombstone-shaped Halloween decoration with the word ‘R.I.P.’ written on the front,” according to Ohio cops.

    A resident of South Euclid, a Cleveland suburb, contacted police Friday night to report that a thief had targeted the nativity scene in his front yard. Along with stealing baby Jesus, the perp swiped cow, donkey, and lamb figurines.

    Victim John Carlo, 39, told cops he found the “R.I.P.” tombstone where the figurines had been.

    Police are investigating the December 2 crèche incursion.

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    As store surveillance cameras recorded his felonious activity, a brazen shoplifter strolled out of a Burlington store in Florida on Black Friday with sacks of stolen goods and an array of purses and handbags that were daisy-chained and dragged out of the business.

    As first reported by WPLG, police in Hialeah, a city 10 miles from Miami, are hunting the thief, whose face, forearm tattoo, and vehicle were clearly recorded by store security cameras.

    Sergeant Jose Torres said that investigators are “currently in the process of identifying this individual,” though an arrest has yet to be made in connection with the 8 PM heist on November 25.

    It is unclear whether the male thief had accomplices.

    As he fled the department store with the $5000 in stolen loot, the man passed a sign intended for departing shoppers: “See you soon for your next treasure hunt!”

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    During an argument early Thanksgiving morning, a Florida Man threw a sex toy at his girlfriend, leaving the woman with a bruise on her torso, according to cops who noted that they did not confiscate the weapon used in the alleged domestic battery.

    Investigators say Christopher Pacitto, 45, and the 33-year-old victim were inside a room at the Sun Island Motel in St. Petersburg around 4:40 AM when a verbal argument turned violent.

    According to an arrest affidavit, Pacitto was packing his suitcase to leave the room when he “began throwing the victim’s items” out of the luggage. “During the process,” the woman told police, Pacitto (seen at right) “hit her with a sex toy on her torso, leaving a bruise.”

    When questioned by cops, Pacitto reportedly “admitted to throwing items but does not recall exactly what items.” The sex toy in question is not further described in the court affidavit.

    The 6’ 2”, 300-pound Pacitto--who cops say was under the influence of alcohol--was arrested for domestic battery. He bonded out of jail Friday after posting $1000 bond in the misdemeanor case. A judge has ordered him to have no contact with the victim.

    Pacitto, a professional engineer, lives in Fort Myers, a city about 110 miles south of St. Petersburg.

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    After being arrested for stealing a wallet that a patron mistakenly left on a Waffle House counter, Kwanita Morton reportedly confessed to the theft and gave cops an explanation for her actions.

    “The money was calling to me,” Morton declared.

    According to Florida police, the victim paid their Waffle House tab early Monday morning, but “forgot their wallet on the counter.” The wallet contained credit cards and $2286 in cash.

    As recorded by a security camera, the 47-year-old Morton “was seen on video looking around, putting her hat on top of the victim’s wallet on the counter.” She then slid the hat and wallet into her hands “with discretion.”

    Morton then “quickly leaves the establishment while her husband and child are left inside the restaurant to pay.” Morton, who works at a nursing home, lives about eight miles from the Waffle House in St. Petersburg.

    Aided by the security footage, police subsequently identified Morton as the theft suspect. During questioning, police report, Morton admitted to swiping the wallet, claiming, “The money was calling to me.”

    Seen above, Morton was arrested on a felony grand theft charge and booked into the county jail. She was released from custody early yesterday after posting $2000 bond.

    Morton’s rap sheet includes four separate misdemeanor theft convictions.

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    A Halloween reveler dressed as a bottle of Fireball Cinnamon Whisky was arrested early today for drunken disorderly conduct, domestic battery, and several other charges, according to California jail records.

    Dominic Salazar, 31, was booked into the county lockup at 3:20 AM on an assortment of felony, misdemeanor, and vehicular counts. Salazar, who lives in Madera, a city in central California, is being held in lieu of $55,000 bond.

    As seen above, the 6', 293-pound Salazar was wearing his Halloween costume when photographed by jail personnel.

    The whisky outfit, which retails for about $45, is 100% polyester and “intended for adults of legal drinking age,” according to the Fireball website, which notes that, “Halloween is all about letting your wildest dreams come true, so this year, become a human-sized bottle of Fireball. You're welcome.”

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    For some unexplained reason, a wanted man was covered head-to-toe in black paint when California cops apprehended him last week.

    Investigators had been looking to arrest Rufus Barron, 35, on an outstanding warrant when his mother called police to report that her son was asleep in her home in Madera, a city in central California.

    When officers arrived at the residence around 1:30 AM on Tuesday, they discovered Barron, seen above, coated in black paint. Barron would not say how he came to be so covered, according to Madera Police Chief Dino Lawson.

    A search of Barron turned up a glass smoking pipe containing methamphetamine. Cops suspected that Barron had been on a “meth bender” (which could have prompted the paint application).

    Barron is being held in the county jail on multiple charges, including possession of a controlled substance, violating parole, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

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    The use of certain drugs can cause constricted pupils, which might explain the pinpoint peepers on Dalaih Aixa McMullen.

    Or maybe she just wears scary contact lenses.

    The 45-year-old Floridian was collared last month after a car she was driving was pulled over at 10 PM by cops in Orlando, where McMullen resides.

    A search of McMullen’s purse located multiple baggies containing an “off-white/tan rock-like substance” that police identified as the stimulant MDMA. Another bag of “Molly” was discovered inside McMullen’s bra. Additionally, cops say, McMullen also handed over a baggie of marijuana.

    McMullen, seen above, was arrested on a felony narcotics possession charge and a misdemeanor pot rap. She was freed from custody after posting $1100 bond.

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    10/17 UPDATE: Austin Smith, 20, was arrested Saturday for giving the 10-year-old a permanent tattoo. Charged with endangering the welfare of a child and a second misdemeanor, Smith was released from custody on a desk appearance ticket and is scheduled for a November 3 hearing in Town Court.

    A New York woman has been arrested for allowing her 10-year-old son to get a large tattoo across his forearm, artwork that was spotted by a school employee who reported the illegal ink to law enforcement.

    Police this month busted Crystal Thomas, 33, for endangering the welfare of a child. She was booked on the misdemeanor charge and released from custody on a Town Court appearance ticket.

    Thomas’s son was placed in the custody of child protective services officials.

    According to police, the boy was tattooed inside a room at the hotel where Thomas and her two children reside. The Ulster County hotel is about 100 miles north of New York City.

    Before inking the boy, police say, the tattoo artist got permission from Thomas. The resulting tattoo--the boy’s name in “full-size block letters”--was inked across the child’s forearm, said Chief James Janso of the Town of Lloyd Police.

    The tattoo is large enough that “you would need a sleeve to cover it up,” said Janso.

    Officials learned of the tattoo earlier this month when the boy asked the nurse at his middle school to apply Vaseline atop the fresh ink, Janso told TSG.

    Janso described the tattoo artist as a “person of interest” who could face charges including tattooing a minor and endangering the welfare of a child. The whereabouts of the male suspect are currently unknown, said Janso.

    Thomas is pictured above in a photo from her Facebook page.

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    If 25+ years on the crime beat has taught TSG anything, it is that when it comes to police vehicle stops:

    1) There is always drugs or weapons in the Crown Royal bag.

    2) There is always crack cocaine in the Crazy Glue container.

    3) If a suspect is wearing a D.A.R.E. t-shirt, they are probably holding.

    With regard to observation #3, meet Michelle Ochoa.

    The 35-year-old Texan was arrested recently after police pulled over a vehicle in which she was a passenger. When questioned by cops, Ochoa “openly stated” that she “had warrants” in a neighboring county, according to a police report.

    A computer check confirmed that Ochoa was wanted for failure to appear in court on a narcotics possession charge. A search of Ochoa’s bag turned up Xanax for which she did not have a prescription.

    Elsewhere in the vehicle officers found cocaine, a scale, and “several unused plastic baggies consistent with that of packaging narcotics prior to distribution.” Another occupant of the vehicle reportedly told cops that Ochoa “had narcotics concealed on her person,” but a search of Ochoa found “no contraband,” investigators noted.

    Ochoa--seen above in her “D.A.R.E. Keeping Kids Off Drugs” t-shirt--was subsequently booked into the Jim Wells County jail on a narcotics possession charge.

    D.A.R.E., Texas, Xanax
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    The motorcyclist who led cops on a high-speed chase because he was “trying to show off” for a female passenger with whom he was on a first date has pleaded guilty to a felony charge and will serve two months in jail, Florida court records show.

    Taylor Beverly, a 23-year-old Tampa resident, copped Thursday to a fleeing or eluding charge in connection with the chase last year. In addition to the time behind bars, a judge suspended Beverly’s driver’s license for a year and ordered him to pay about $700 in fines and court costs.

    After Beverly (seen at right) blew a red light in front of a squad car, police began chasing his 2017 Suzuki, which weaved in and out of traffic while running additional lights and traveling at “well over 100 mph,” according to an arrest affidavit.

    While Beverly was fleeing, his passenger later told police, she was “screaming at him to stop, but he refused.” Referring to Beverly and the woman, a cop noted that, “This was their first date.”

    Upon being apprehended at an intersection, Beverly confessed and “stated he was trying to show off for his date.”

    Court records show that Beverly, who works for a roofing company, has previously been convicted of grand theft, cocaine possession, passing a bad check, and probation violation. Following a 2019 motorcycle crash, Beverly was cited for reckless driving and driving an unregistered vehicle.

    Beverly was arrested in April for allegedly slapping and strangling an ex-girlfriend, but prosecutors dropped felony and misdemeanor counts after the victim “requested this case not be prosecuted,” a court filing revealed.

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    A drunken, Sunday morning joyride on a motorized shopping cart inside a Walmart will cost a Florida Man two months behind bars, court records show.

    Aaron Gregory, 40, was arrested in late-July for haphazardly driving a Walmart scooter “down the aisles, running into shelves and displays, and creating a danger for other patrons by almost striking them with the scooter,” police reported.

    When cops arrived at the Walmart in Melbourne around 10 AM on July 24, Gregory was so intoxicated that he could barely stand on his own. A search of his backpack located an open bottle of Smirnoff vodka, according to an arrest affidavit.

    Gregory, seen at right, was busted for driving under the influence, disorderly intoxication, and possession of an open container of alcohol. The Walmart scooter, which can approach 10 mph, is considered a motor vehicle.

    Prosecutors subsequently charged Gregory with only the disorderly and open container raps, to which he yesterday pleaded no contest. A judge found Gregory guilty of both charges and sentenced him to 60 days in jail and ordered him to pay $522 in fines and court costs.

    Judge Aaron Peacock also barred Gregory from returning to the Walmart/crime scene for six months.