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    For some unexplained reason, a wanted man was covered head-to-toe in black paint when California cops apprehended him last week.

    Investigators had been looking to arrest Rufus Barron, 35, on an outstanding warrant when his mother called police to report that her son was asleep in her home in Madera, a city in central California.

    When officers arrived at the residence around 1:30 AM on Tuesday, they discovered Barron, seen above, coated in black paint. Barron would not say how he came to be so covered, according to Madera Police Chief Dino Lawson.

    A search of Barron turned up a glass smoking pipe containing methamphetamine. Cops suspected that Barron had been on a “meth bender” (which could have prompted the paint application).

    Barron is being held in the county jail on multiple charges, including possession of a controlled substance, violating parole, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

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    The use of certain drugs can cause constricted pupils, which might explain the pinpoint peepers on Dalaih Aixa McMullen.

    Or maybe she just wears scary contact lenses.

    The 45-year-old Floridian was collared last month after a car she was driving was pulled over at 10 PM by cops in Orlando, where McMullen resides.

    A search of McMullen’s purse located multiple baggies containing an “off-white/tan rock-like substance” that police identified as the stimulant MDMA. Another bag of “Molly” was discovered inside McMullen’s bra. Additionally, cops say, McMullen also handed over a baggie of marijuana.

    McMullen, seen above, was arrested on a felony narcotics possession charge and a misdemeanor pot rap. She was freed from custody after posting $1100 bond.

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    10/17 UPDATE: Austin Smith, 20, was arrested Saturday for giving the 10-year-old a permanent tattoo. Charged with endangering the welfare of a child and a second misdemeanor, Smith was released from custody on a desk appearance ticket and is scheduled for a November 3 hearing in Town Court.

    A New York woman has been arrested for allowing her 10-year-old son to get a large tattoo across his forearm, artwork that was spotted by a school employee who reported the illegal ink to law enforcement.

    Police this month busted Crystal Thomas, 33, for endangering the welfare of a child. She was booked on the misdemeanor charge and released from custody on a Town Court appearance ticket.

    Thomas’s son was placed in the custody of child protective services officials.

    According to police, the boy was tattooed inside a room at the hotel where Thomas and her two children reside. The Ulster County hotel is about 100 miles north of New York City.

    Before inking the boy, police say, the tattoo artist got permission from Thomas. The resulting tattoo--the boy’s name in “full-size block letters”--was inked across the child’s forearm, said Chief James Janso of the Town of Lloyd Police.

    The tattoo is large enough that “you would need a sleeve to cover it up,” said Janso.

    Officials learned of the tattoo earlier this month when the boy asked the nurse at his middle school to apply Vaseline atop the fresh ink, Janso told TSG.

    Janso described the tattoo artist as a “person of interest” who could face charges including tattooing a minor and endangering the welfare of a child. The whereabouts of the male suspect are currently unknown, said Janso.

    Thomas is pictured above in a photo from her Facebook page.

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    If 25+ years on the crime beat has taught TSG anything, it is that when it comes to police vehicle stops:

    1) There is always drugs or weapons in the Crown Royal bag.

    2) There is always crack cocaine in the Crazy Glue container.

    3) If a suspect is wearing a D.A.R.E. t-shirt, they are probably holding.

    With regard to observation #3, meet Michelle Ochoa.

    The 35-year-old Texan was arrested recently after police pulled over a vehicle in which she was a passenger. When questioned by cops, Ochoa “openly stated” that she “had warrants” in a neighboring county, according to a police report.

    A computer check confirmed that Ochoa was wanted for failure to appear in court on a narcotics possession charge. A search of Ochoa’s bag turned up Xanax for which she did not have a prescription.

    Elsewhere in the vehicle officers found cocaine, a scale, and “several unused plastic baggies consistent with that of packaging narcotics prior to distribution.” Another occupant of the vehicle reportedly told cops that Ochoa “had narcotics concealed on her person,” but a search of Ochoa found “no contraband,” investigators noted.

    Ochoa--seen above in her “D.A.R.E. Keeping Kids Off Drugs” t-shirt--was subsequently booked into the Jim Wells County jail on a narcotics possession charge.

    D.A.R.E., Texas, Xanax
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    The motorcyclist who led cops on a high-speed chase because he was “trying to show off” for a female passenger with whom he was on a first date has pleaded guilty to a felony charge and will serve two months in jail, Florida court records show.

    Taylor Beverly, a 23-year-old Tampa resident, copped Thursday to a fleeing or eluding charge in connection with the chase last year. In addition to the time behind bars, a judge suspended Beverly’s driver’s license for a year and ordered him to pay about $700 in fines and court costs.

    After Beverly (seen at right) blew a red light in front of a squad car, police began chasing his 2017 Suzuki, which weaved in and out of traffic while running additional lights and traveling at “well over 100 mph,” according to an arrest affidavit.

    While Beverly was fleeing, his passenger later told police, she was “screaming at him to stop, but he refused.” Referring to Beverly and the woman, a cop noted that, “This was their first date.”

    Upon being apprehended at an intersection, Beverly confessed and “stated he was trying to show off for his date.”

    Court records show that Beverly, who works for a roofing company, has previously been convicted of grand theft, cocaine possession, passing a bad check, and probation violation. Following a 2019 motorcycle crash, Beverly was cited for reckless driving and driving an unregistered vehicle.

    Beverly was arrested in April for allegedly slapping and strangling an ex-girlfriend, but prosecutors dropped felony and misdemeanor counts after the victim “requested this case not be prosecuted,” a court filing revealed.

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    A drunken, Sunday morning joyride on a motorized shopping cart inside a Walmart will cost a Florida Man two months behind bars, court records show.

    Aaron Gregory, 40, was arrested in late-July for haphazardly driving a Walmart scooter “down the aisles, running into shelves and displays, and creating a danger for other patrons by almost striking them with the scooter,” police reported.

    When cops arrived at the Walmart in Melbourne around 10 AM on July 24, Gregory was so intoxicated that he could barely stand on his own. A search of his backpack located an open bottle of Smirnoff vodka, according to an arrest affidavit.

    Gregory, seen at right, was busted for driving under the influence, disorderly intoxication, and possession of an open container of alcohol. The Walmart scooter, which can approach 10 mph, is considered a motor vehicle.

    Prosecutors subsequently charged Gregory with only the disorderly and open container raps, to which he yesterday pleaded no contest. A judge found Gregory guilty of both charges and sentenced him to 60 days in jail and ordered him to pay $522 in fines and court costs.

    Judge Aaron Peacock also barred Gregory from returning to the Walmart/crime scene for six months.

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    Incensed that his pizza did not include the requested toppings, a Maryland man allegedly assaulted a Papa John’s worker with a metal pizza paddle in an attack that ended with the employee stabbing the customer in the stomach with a “pizza spear,” according to police.

    Investigators say that after purchasing a pizza Wednesday evening, Herbert Harris, 40, returned to a Papa John’s in Woodbridge, a community 20 miles outside Baltimore, to “complain that garlic sauce and pepperoncinis were not included with the pizza.”

    Harris, cops say, argued about the missing Italian peppers and garlic sauce with Robert Klein, a 26-year-old Papa John’s employee. During the dispute, Harris went behind the counter and “began chasing Klein around the store, physically assaulting him with a metal pizza paddle,” according to the Harford County Sheriff’s Office.

    “Unable to escape the physical assault and in fear of his safety,” Klein “grabbed a pizza spear to defend himself from the attack, and stabbed Harris in self-defense,” investigators say. The spear is not further described in a police statement.

    When cops arrived at Papa John’s, Harris, who lives two miles from the restaurant, was holding a t-shirt to a stab wound in his stomach. He was subsequently transported to a local hospital for “treatment of non-life-threatening injuries,” cops noted.

    Charged with misdemeanor assault, Harris is scheduled for a September 20 District Court appearance.

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    During an argument at Burger King, a Florida Man threw a cheeseburger at his girlfriend with such force that when the sandwich struck the back of her head, the woman fell “over a curb onto the ground,” police charge.

    According to a criminal complaint, James Hunt, 41, and his “girlfriend and cohabitant” argued Saturday afternoon about “the victim not eating her food” at a Burger King in Clearwater, a city in the Tampa Bay area.

    The dispute turned violent, cops say, when the 53-year-old woman began to leave the restaurant. That is when Hunt (seen at right) allegedly “threw a cheeseburger at the victim, striking her in the back of the head. This action caused the victim to fall over a curb onto the ground.”

    The victim’s chin and lip hit the pavement, resulting in an abrasion and a cut. Upon arriving at the Burger King, cops observed blood on the victim’s shirt and shorts and cheese on her shirt and in her hair.

    A Burger King worker told cops that before Hunt walked away from the restaurant, he struck the victim in the head while she was on the ground.

    While Hunt reportedly “admitted to throwing the burger at the victim,” he denied striking her while she was down. Hunt also told police that he did not think the cheeseburger strike “caused her to slip on the curb and fall onto the ground.”

    Charged with felony domestic battery, Hunt is being held in the county jail on $15,000 bond and has been ordered by a judge to have no contact with the victim. Hunt, identified as a mechanic in court papers, has two prior domestic battery convictions, both of which date back to 2002 in Arkansas.

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    An Alabama woman facing methamphetamine charges was wearing a Walter White t-shirt when arrested last night for failing to appear in court on the drug counts.

    Misty Mays, 50, was collared Sunday evening on a misdemeanor rap for a court no-show in connection with her February arrest for possession of meth and drug paraphernalia (a meth pipe).

    Mays was arrested earlier this year following an 11:30 PM traffic stop in Wetumpka, a city about 20 miles north of Montgomery. A police search turned up the meth and the pipe, investigators say.

    As seen above, when Mays was apprehended yesterday on the failure to appear rap, she was wearing a mint-colored shirt with a large photo of White, the teacher-turned-meth kingpin portrayed by Bryan Cranston in “Breaking Bad.” In the photo, seen below, White/Cranston is pictured surrounded by stacks of cash.

    Mays is being held in the Elmore County lockup in lieu of $20,500 bond, according to jail records.

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    “Meth is legal now.”

    That is what Enzo Zabala-Cardozo, 31, “advised” Florida cops who caught him, glass pipe at his lips, attempting to light up early yesterday in a St. Petersburg alleyway, according to an arrest affidavit.

    Upon spotting police, Zabala-Cardozo began walking away, but not before declaring that, “Meth is legal now.” He did not offer further details as to when lawmakers legalized use of the highly addictive stimulant.

    As it turns out, however, meth possession is still a crime in the Free State of Florida™. As such, Zabala-Cardozo was busted on a felony drug possession charge and a misdemeanor count of resisting police.

    Pictured at right, Zabala-Cardozo was booked into the county jail on $2150 bond. At the time of his 3:50 AM arrest Thursday, Zabala-Cardozo was free on bond in connection with his arrest in late-May for possession of meth and drug paraphernalia.

    Zabala-Cardozo’s rap sheet includes multiple convictions for narcotics possession, as well as convictions for trespass, disorderly conduct, obstruction, and assault.

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    A reputed Florida gang member is facing a felony charge for uploading a homemade rap video to YouTube, court records show.

    Tito Burney is a member of St. Petersburg’s Auburn Park crew, according to police who Tuesday arrested the 26-year-old on multiple felony counts. Burney, seen below, is locked up on $80,000 bond.

    Citing a law barring “criminal gang electronic communication,” police collared Burney for posting “Aint Duckin No Rec” to YouTube in mid-February. The 2:21 rap song, which has been viewed about 2100 times and has garnered four comments, is one of three videos on Burney’s YouTube page (which has 237 subscribers).

    Police allege that the song contains lyrics that “are being utilized to benefit, promote, or further the interests of the Auburn Park gang” and “intimidate or harass other persons.” Specifically, a police detective in an arrest affidavit noted that Burney rapped about handling “beef” with firearms and spoke of “doing a drive by shooting” with a TEC-9 submachine gun.

    In the video, which was filmed outside a St. Petersburg food market, Burney--who is wearing a balaclava and a Lacoste t-shirt--“appears to be holding real firearms,” Detective Michael Bletsch alleged.

    When Burney was apprehended Tuesday evening on the rap video count, he was allegedly carrying a stolen Beretta handgun, which allowed cops to charge him with three additional felonies.

    Burney’s rap sheet includes convictions for criminal mischief; grand theft auto; possession of drug paraphernalia; obstructing police; trespass; heroin possession; fleeing law enforcement; Ecstasy possession; and firearms possession by a convicted felon.

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    A Florida inmate charged with punching a corrections officer in the face said that she walloped the female victim because she “was bored” and “had nothing else to do,” according to a court filing.

    Investigators say the deputy yesterday was escorting Jazmyne Levesque, 23, to a pod inside the Pinellas County jail when Levesque attacked. The deputy was “taken to a walk in clinic for treatment,” an arrest affidavit states.

    After being read her rights, Levesque, seen at right, reportedly copped to the battery, saying she attacked the deputy “because she was bored, had nothing else to do, and was already in a couple of fights earlier in the day.”

    Levesque was charged with a felony count of battery on a law enforcement officer.

    Levesque was jailed earlier this month for allegedly throwing punches at a municipal bus driver and getting in a female cop’s face and yelling, “I am threatening you right now! Do your fucking jobs you idiot!” She was charged with assault on a law enforcement officer and assault on a public transit employee.

    At the time of her July 14 collar, Levesque was free on bond in a felony grand theft case (which remains pending). She has been charged with stealing nearly $2400 in merchandise from an Ulta Beauty store near her residence in Tarpon Springs, a Tampa suburb.

    After police found 87 cosmetic items stashed in her purse, Levesque reportedly copped to the theft, saying that she intended to use the stolen goods to “beautify” herself.

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    A “heavily intoxicated” Florida Man was arrested Saturday night for calling 911 to report that his girlfriend “wished to eat Sour Patch Kids” according to police.

    An arrest affidavit does not reveal why Joshua Larson, 37, allegedly phoned the police emergency number at 11:45 PM with the candy dispatch.

    When asked about the call by a sheriff’s deputy, Larson “smiled and walked away” from cops outside his residence in Madeira Beach, a city 10 miles from St. Petersburg.

    Seen above, Larson allegedly struggled with deputies as they sought to place him in handcuffs. An “electronic control weapon” was eventually used to take Larson into custody, according to the affidavit.

    Charged with misuse of the 911 system and obstruction, Larson was booked into the county jail, from which he was freed yesterday afternoon on his own recognizance. As part of his release conditions, Larson has been ordered by a judge to not consume alcohol and has been outfitted with an alcohol monitoring device.

    Larson was arrested in November for allegedly shoving his girlfriend and knocking her phone from her hand during an altercation in their Clearwater apartment. Prosecutors subsequently declined to pursue a misdemeanor domestic battery count against Larson.

    It is unclear whether the alleged victim in the 2021 case is the same woman who sought to consume the Sour Patch Kids candy.