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    A man who engaged in sexual conduct with a pair of “large stuffed animal toys” at a Target store in Florida was sentenced today to six months probation after pleading no contest to indecent exposure and criminal mischief charges.

    Cody Meader, 22, entered his misdemeanor plea before a Circuit Court judge who also ordered the St. Petersburg man to pay $725 in court costs and fines, according to court records.

    Meader, seen at right, was arrested in late-2019 after “willfully and maliciously” damaging Target goods “by ejaculating on the merchandise.”

    Meader, cops reported, initially took a stuffed unicorn to the children’s bedding department, exposed himself, and then “took the unicorn and placed it against his penis and began a sexual motion like the subject was trying to have sex with the unicorn.”

    Wearing shorts and a Star Wars t-shirt, Meader then proceeded to the front of the store and “picked up an Olaf snowman stuffed animal” from a display featuring characters from the Disney film “Frozen” and “began having sex with this stuffed animal and it was all on video,” according to a Target loss prevention officer interviewed by police. “The subject finished having sex with the stuffed animal and ejaculated on it and then wiped it off.”

    When confronted, cops say, Meader admitted to “doing ‘stupid stuff’ and admitted that he had ‘nutted’ on the Olaf stuffed animal.” As seen above, a store surveillance camera recorded Meader engaged with the Olaf doll, which he returned in its soiled state to a pile of other stuffed animals.

    The two stuffed dolls violated by Meader are pictured in the below police photos.

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    Meet Brandon Cihak.

    After police found a bag of methamphetamine in his pocket, the 37-year-old Minnesotan disavowed ownership of the drug, claiming that the sweatpants he was wearing were not his own.

    Cihak, who had been searched following a traffic stop Wednesday morning in Mankato, “attempted to blame the methamphetamine on another individual,” Officer Eric Lopez noted in a probable cause statement. Cihak, Lopez added, “stated he was wearing the other individual’s pants.”

    But the 5’ 11” Cihak’s bid to pin the drug rap on the unnamed fall guy/gal did not sway Lopez, who reported that “Cihak is substantially taller than the individual he claimed to be the owner of the pants.”

    The purported trouser owner is “only 4 feet, 1 inch tall,” according to Lopez.

    Cihak was charged with a felony narcotics possession charge and booked into the Blue Earth County jail. His lengthy rap sheet includes convictions for fraud; burglary; receiving stolen property; disorderly conduct; assault; DWI; theft; narcotics possession; check forgery; domestic assault; and driving with a revoked license.

    Cihak is seen above in a 2017 Minnesota Department of Corrections mug shot taken while he was serving state time for a felony drug conviction.

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    The Florida Man charged with swinging a stolen alligator around by its tail at 3:20 AM has copped a plea deal that carries no jail time, but bars him from “ownership of animals,” according to court records.

    William Hodge, 33, yesterday entered no contest pleas to felony and misdemeanor raps stemming from a bizarre July incident in Daytona Beach Shores.

    Asked by police why he was abusing the alligator, Hodge reportedly replied that he was “teaching it a lesson.”

    A Circuit Court judge sentenced Hodge, seen at right, to four years of probation and ordered him to undergo a mental health evaluation. Additionally, Hodge was barred from owning animals and directed to stay away from Congo River Golf & Exploration, a miniature golf course that offers patrons the opportunity to feed and hold small alligators.

    Hodge was arrested after cops spotted him trying to throw the purloined alligator onto the roof of a building. When his launch attempt failed, Hodge slammed the reptile to the ground and stomped on it. The alligator was subsequently returned to the general manager of Congo River (whose alligator enclosure is pictured below).

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    Meet Dalton Kyle Lunt.

    The 26-year-old was able to model his fashionable “Let’s Go Brandon!” t-shirt while posing for a mug shot following a recent arrest in Alabama for driving under the influence.

    Lunt, who was freed from custody after posting $1000 bond on the misdemeanor charge, is scheduled for a February 1 bench trial in Circuit Court in Huntsville.

    According to his Facebook profile, Lunt works as a helicopter mechanic with the Michigan Army National Guard.

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    From the holiday booking blotter:

    1) The Kentucky gentleman seen above in the Santa suit was arrested on Christmas for drunk driving, reckless driving, and several vehicular charges.

    He was scheduled to make a court appearance today, according to an online docket entry.

    It is unclear whether police confiscated the defendant's sleigh.

    2) The Alabaman pictured at right was collared on Christmas Eve for assault.

    At 6’ 3”, the tattooed elf likely towers over most of Santa’s other helpers.

    Christmas, Elf, Santa
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    A domestic argument over whether to purchase a Christmas tree turned violent, resulting in the arrest of a Florida Man for allegedly battering his girlfriend, according to a police report.

    Cops allege that Levi Metcalf, 31, intentionally elbowed the 36-year-old victim in the face “during an argument over a Christmas tree” Wednesday afternoon in the couple’s St. Petersburg residence.

    Metcalf’s girlfriend told police that “she wanted to buy a Christmas tree for their apartment and [Metcalf] did not want to buy a Christmas tree.”

    After being read his rights, Metcalf reportedly admitted to striking the victim in the face with his elbow during the tree dispute, but “claimed it was accidental.” The blow left the woman with “visible swelling on the right cheek of her face,” cops say.

    Metcalf, seen above, was arrested on a battery charge and booked into the county jail (from which he was later released on his own recognizance). Metcalf, who has pleaded not guilty to the misdemeanor count, has been outfitted with a GPS monitor and ordered by a judge to have no contact with the victim.

    While the Christmas tree incident prompted “the second police response to the home of the couple for the day,” the report does not indicate why officers were at the residence earlier that day.

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    Two registered Republicans living in Florida’s sprawling The Villages retirement community have been separately charged with voting twice in the 2020 presidential election, according to court records.

    The defendants--Joan Halstead, 72, and Jay Ketcik, 63--have each been charged with a felony fraud count, according to court records. Halstead and Ketcik, seen in the above mug shots, were freed from custody last week after posting $2000 bond.

    Halstead and Ketcik are registered Republicans, according to Florida state voting records.

    Investigators allege that Halstead voted in person in Florida in late-October 2020, and “also cast a second ballot in New York via absentee ballot.” Halstead bought her home in The Villages in April 2020 for $250,400. At the time of the purchase, Halstead listed her address as a residence in Rochester, New York. Halstead sold the New York property after buying her Florida home.

    Ketcik has been charged with voting by mail in Florida in October 2020 and casting “a second ballot in Michigan via absentee ballot.” Ketcik and his wife Karen purchased their residence in The Villages for $345,200 in July 2019. At the time of the purchase, Ketcik listed his residence as a home in Lansing, Michigan. He sold that property in July 2020, according to Michigan property records.

    If convicted of the third degree felony count, the defendants could face a maximum of five years in state prison. Court filings do not reveal how investigators uncovered the alleged voter fraud.

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    A 76-year-old Florida Woman was arrested yesterday for allegedly targeting her ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend in an auto vandalism spree that employed oil, pink lipstick, and a dead raccoon.

    According to police, Patsy Murrell vandalized the cars in late-September, three months after her relationship with Stephen Hughes, 74, ended. Hughes’s new girlfriend, an arrest affidavit notes, is Michelle Busman-Baio, 64.

    Investigators charge that Murrell damaged the vehicles while they were parked at night outside Hughes’s home in Largo, a city in the Tampa Bay area.

    Hughes’s 2011 Chrysler had oil poured into its air vents and the words “Loves Kinkey Sex” and “Wominzer” written on the windows in pink lipstick. The auto also sustained damage to its rear bumper, allegedly when Murrell rammed the car with her vehicle. The estimate to repair Hughes’s ride was about $1600, cops noted.

    “Multiple parts” of Busman-Baio’s 2020 BMW were damaged by Murrell, according to the arrest affidavit. Oil was poured on the car, a dead raccoon was left on the hood, and the word “Slut” was written on the vehicle in pink lipstick. The BMW was judged a “total loss,” cops reported, adding that the insurance settlement amount exceeded $33,000.

    A police probe determined that Murrell’s “phone GPS” placed her in the vicinity of Hughes’s residence on the night of the vandalism. Days after the incident, Murrell brought her car to a body shop in Sarasota for repairs to the front and rear bumpers (which, cops charge, included “paint transfer that was the same color as both victim’s vehicles”).

    Seen above, Murrell was arrested Wednesday morning on a pair of felony criminal mischief counts. Murrell, who lives in South Pasadena, a city near St. Pete Beach, was released last night from the county jail on her own recognizance.

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    A Louisiana man busted early today for allegedly trying to enter a neighbor’s apartment at 2 AM explained to police that “a big snake told him to open the victim’s door and go inside,” according to an arrest affidavit.

    On a related note, Jessie Terry, 52, also reportedly told arresting officers that he had smoked crack “within the last hour.”

    Terry was collared after police responded to the West Monroe residence of a woman who reported that Terry “attempted to open the back door to her apartment.”

    During police questioning, Terry--who lives near the victim’s residence--reportedly spoke of his recent crack use and how he was told to open the woman’s door and enter her home by a “big snake.”

    The reptile in question is not further described in the arrest affidavit.

    Terry was booked into the local jail for unauthorized entry of an inhabited dwelling, a felony, and disturbing the peace, a misdemeanor. The affidavit notes that Terry has a “lengthy” criminal history.

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    A motorist who has a Tesla logo tattooed on his face was driving a 1992 minivan when he was arrested Friday on a felony DUI count and multiple vehicular charges, according to Illinois police.

    Jordan Lindsey, 25, was behind the wheel of a GMC Safari that crashed Thursday evening on Route 83 in Elmhurst, a city 20 miles west of Chicago. A Circuit Court complaint describes the 10 PM accident as a “single vehicle roll-over.”

    Lindsey, seen at right, was arrested on a felony aggravated DUI count since he was driving with a suspended license due to a previous drunk driving conviction. He was also charged with driving an uninsured vehicle, driving an unregistered vehicle, failure to reduce speed to avoid a crash, and driving with a suspended license.

    Lindsey was booked into the DuPage County jail, from which he was later released on bond. He is scheduled for a December 20 court appearance. The Wisconsin native, who lives a few miles outside Elmhurst, has a pending misdemeanor disorderly conduct case and a rap sheet with a multitude of vehicular convictions.

    Judging by his face, Lindsey is a Tesla fan, though it does not appear as if he owns one of the electric vehicles. Lindsey’s main ride is a 30-year-old maroon minivan that seats eight and, when new, got an average of 16 miles per gallon. Production of the GMC Safari was discontinued in 2005.

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    A Florida Woman arrested Saturday on a felony narcotics charge told police that she sells fentanyl to make money to pay for an attorney “for a pending drug charge,” according to an arrest report.

    Nicole Gregory, 28, was busted after a sheriff’s deputy spotted her dropping a bag that held four baggies containing the synthetic opioid. “The defendant did intend to sell said substance,” the investigator alleged.

    After being collared on a St. Petersburg street, Gregory reportedly admitted that she “sells the drug for $10 per ‘bump.’” Gregory then claimed she was “selling the narcotics to make money for an attorney for a pending drug charge.”

    According to court records, Gregory was arrested last month for selling methamphetamine to an undercover cop. In August, she was charged with possessing fentanyl and meth. Both cases are pending in Circuit Court.

    In addition to the new fentanyl rap, Gregory was charged with four other drug counts after she was found in possession of narcotics including meth, morphine, and Oxycodone.

    Pictured above, Gregory bonded out of jail Saturday night after posting $18,000 bond.

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    Upon discovering his boyfriend “humping” their dog, a Florida Man was beaten and threatened with a knife by his beau, police allege.

    According to an arrest report, the 58-year-old victim told cops he caught John Miller, 33, engaged with the canine inside their home in Milton, a city outside Pensacola. Miller and the victim “have been dating for approximately five years, and live together,” cops reported.

    The victim said that when he confronted Miller about the alleged November 11 dog humping, Miller began punching him in the head and body. A sheriff’s deputy noted that the victim had a fresh cut on his neck and red marks on his chest.

    The victim’s 88-year-old mother, who owns the Milton home, said she witnessed Miller pummeling her son and destroying items in the residence. Miller’s boyfriend told cops that before Miller fled the home, he grabbed a knife and “threatened to stab and kill him.”

    After Miller was subsequently located by police, he claimed that his boyfriend had “attacked him in the garage” with a “metal rod of some kind.” The attack, Miller claimed, began after he caught his boyfriend “looking at boys in their underwear on Instagram.”

    Pictured above, Miller was arrested and booked into the Santa Rosa County jail on aggravated assault, domestic battery, and criminal mischief charges. He is being held in lieu of $7000 bond, and is scheduled to be arraigned on December 9.

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    A dispute over a borrowed sex toy ended with a Kentucky woman stabbing her male cousin with a kitchen knife, according to cops who arrested the alleged assailant on multiple criminal charges.

    Police were dispatched late last month to a home in the city of Corbin after the occupant, Crystal Denham, called 911 to report that she had stabbed a relative.

    Seen above, the 33-year-old Denham told officers that Michael Barton “had come to her residence and they had gotten into an argument over a sex toy,” according to a court citation. Specifically, Denham added, “she had borrowed it and he wanted it back.”

    Sadly, the sex toy in question is not further described in the citation, which identifies Barton as Denham’s “cousin and neighbor.”

    Denham claimed that after she told Barton to get off her property, he “grabbed her by the elbow.” Denham said she then “used the kitchen knife in her hand to stab him,” but said she “didn’t think she even drew blood.”

    Barton, cops report, suffered “three minor cuts” on his arm and back. He confirmed that the pair had “gotten into the argument over the sex toy,” adding that he went to leave when Denham began “acting crazy.”

    Denham was charged with felony assault, as well as menacing, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest (all of which are misdemeanors). She is locked up in the Whitley County Detention Center in advance of a December 20 appearance in District Court.