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    Meet Steven Lee Donovan.

    The 22-year-old pizza deliveryman was allegedly pleasuring himself Tuesday night while seated behind the wheel of a 1996 Honda Civic parked outside a Circle K in Fruitland Park, Florida.

    While Donovan was masturbating, a woman whose car was parked next to the Honda noticed that the vehicle’s sole inhabitant had penis in hand and was stroking himself in “up and down motions.”

    Unfortunately for Donovan, the witness was an off-duty cop from a neighboring city. She copied down the Honda’s license plate (JACR06), which she subsequently provided to police dispatchers.

    A Fruitland Park Police Department report notes that a review of surveillance footage captured the suspect--who wore a black mask--“pulling his pants down as he grabs his genital area” and “making a continual motion with his genital area.”

    Cops tracked the vehicle to a residence where they found Donovan, who works for a Hungry Howie’s pizza franchise, and Maxine Munro, his 20-year-old girlfriend (and the car’s registrant). During questioning, Donovan reportedly told police that he drove to Circle K around 10:00 PM to grab a post-work drink.

    After Donovan placed himself at the scene of the masturbation, he was arrested and placed in handcuffs. It was at this point that Munro asked to speak with Donovan, who was in the rear of a patrol car.

    During the couple’s conversation--which was recorded by a dash cam--Donovan was “very apologetic to Maxine,” cops reported. Acknowledging that he was “horny and was masturbating to pornography,” Donovan “advised Maxine that he didn’t think masturbating in his car was illegal.”

    Sadly, Donovan apparently did not further expound on his belief that a Honda’s interior was some kind of a sovereign zone.

    Charged with exposure of sexual organs, a misdemeanor, Donovan was booked into the Lake County jail. He was freed from custody early yesterday morning upon posting $1000 bond. He is scheduled to be arraigned on August 13.

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    A nude couple tangled with police after they were spotted strolling with their dog early Monday morning near their Massachusetts home.

    Responding to 911 calls about the naked duo, cops encountered the couple around 6:30 AM. Investigators say that Mariel Kinney, 32, and Kevin Pinto, 30, were accompanied by their dog Lucy as they walked near their home in Hopkinton, a town 30 miles west of Boston.

    When police questioned Kinney and Pinto about their state of undress, the pair allegedly became confrontational after answering some questions incoherently. After yelling and swearing at police, the couple sought to run away from officers, but they were quickly corralled.

    What followed, cops charge, was a violent scrum during which Kinney and Pinto struck Hopkinton Police Department officers (one of whom required treatment for minor injuries)

    Pictured above, Kinney and Pinto were eventually restrained and placed into custody. They were each charged with indecent exposure, assault and battery on a police officer, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, and disturbing the peace.

    The couple has not yet been arraigned on the felony and misdemeanor counts in District Court.

    “It wasn’t the typical day in Hopkinton, that’s for sure,” Police Chief Joseph Bennett told the local paper. “They were buck naked.” In fact, Hopkinton, which is the starting point for the Boston Marathon, was named this month as the country’s second safest city by SafeWise, the home security firm.

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    A South Carolina man who was recorded walking around a Walmart “coughing on food items and general merchandise” has been arrested on a pair of felony charges.

    Kyle Arendell, 39, was busted yesterday for aggravated breach of peace and malicious injury to property in connection with a disturbance Sunday evening at a Walmart near his Spartanburg home.

    As seen in a video recorded by a fellow shopper, Arendell--who is not wearing a protective mask--deliberately coughs on a variety of items as he pushes a blue cart across the store. Hacking loudly, Arendell “did intentionally cause a scene” according to an arrest warrant.

    While court records do not reveal why Arendell went on the coughing rampage, he allegedly claimed he “could or did have COVID-19.” Seen at right, Arendell is locked up in the county jail in lieu of $6000 bond.

    A police spokesperson said it was his understanding that Arendell had “bought some items at a Walmart in another state and became upset when he was denied returning them at the incident location.”

    In light of Arendell’s conduct, cops say, Walmart had to destroy merchandise because they could not sell the “infected, damaged items.” The warrant estimated the store’s losses at $2000 or less.  

    Since early this month, shoppers at the Spartanburg Walmart have been required to wear a face mask due to a city ordinance. Beginning July 20, Walmart began requiring such face coverings at all its U.S. stores.

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    When stealing from Walmart in broad daylight, it is best to work your way up to the 65” Ultra HD television.

    Florida cops are seeking to identify the woman who Sunday afternoon tried to push a shopping cart containing the massive TV out of a store in Mulberry, a town 40 miles east of Tampa.

    According to police, the suspect, accompanied by a female cohort, placed assorted electronics items into her cart before adding the 65” Philips TV, which sat precariously in the cart.

    When the woman bypassed the checkout lines and headed for the door, Walmart security stopped her and asked to see a receipt for the items in her cart. The woman could not produce evidence that she had paid for the merchandise.

    At this point, the woman’s accomplice took the smaller items from the cart and placed them in her car. The duo then fled in the vehicle, leaving the $450 TV behind.

    The suspect’s eventual apprehension seems likely since her attempt to boost the TV was captured by Walmart surveillance cameras (as seen above).

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    A Louisiana man who was asked to leave a Walmart when he refused to wear a mask was arrested after striking a cop with his car in the store’s parking lot, according to a probable cause affidavit.

    Ricky Taylor, 64, was inside a Walmart near his West Monroe home Tuesday evening when a cop--apparently working an off-duty security detail at the store--advised him that “the business’ policy is for every customer to wear a mask.”

    Upon being offered a mask, Taylor allegedly began cursing out the officer. “You can’t make me wear a fucking mask,” said Taylor. “I’m not wearing a fucking mask.” Taylor would later claim that a purported “medical condition” prevented him from wearing a mask.

    Due to Taylor’s unruly behavior, Walmart wanted him “placed on trespass notice,” so the cop asked Taylor for his driver’s license. “I could give it to you but I’m not,” he replied while exiting the store and heading for his vehicle.

    As the officer called the car’s license plate into police dispatch, Taylor allegedly backed his auto up and twice struck the patrolman. After a brief struggle, Taylor was handcuffed and taken into custody.

    Taylor was charged with aggravated assault on a peace officer, a felony, and disorderly conduct and resisting an officer, both misdemeanors. He was released from jail last night.

    While visitors to the West Monroe store already must wear a mask, the entire Walmart chain will require them starting July 20. Police blotters nationwide are expected to immediately reflect the fallout from this policy change.

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    A Florida Man arrested for “running in the street unclothed” at 2:45 AM told police that he went for the naked jog yesterday after being “dared by a friend,” according to an arrest affidavit.

    Konrad Tucker, 58, “did not seem bothered by the fact that he was nude while in public view,” a Pinellas Park Police Department officer reported.

    Seen at right, Tucker reportedly “could not advise where he was staying or who his ‘friend was.’” Additionally, Tucker “did not have access to any clothing.”

    Tucker, who is listed as a transient in arrest records, was charged with exposure of sexual organs, a misdemeanor. He is being held in lieu of $150 bond at the Pinellas County jail.

    Tucker’s rap sheet includes convictions for disorderly intoxication, passing a bad check, resisting arrest, and driving with a suspended license.

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    A domestic dispute over toilet paper turned violent and resulted in the bust of a Florida woman for allegedly battering her boyfriend, police report.

    According to an arrest report, Celesierra Thomas, 25, “left scratch marks” on the victim’s shoulder “when they were arguing over toilet paper in their residence” late Monday evening. The report does not offer further details of the toilet paper discord.

    Thomas, seen at right, and the victim share a St. Petersburg home and are parents of a baby boy.

    Noting that the victim had “visible scratches” on his shoulder, cops arrested Thomas for misdemeanor domestic battery. Thomas, who works as a barista, has been ordered by a judge to have no contact with her boyfriend.

    Thomas was arrested in September for allegedly scratching the same victim “to prevent him from calling the police” during an argument. Prosecutors subsequently declined to pursue the misdemeanor case.

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    The couple recorded defacing a Black Lives Matter mural that was painted in front of a California courthouse has been charged with three misdemeanors, including a hate crime, prosecutors today announced.

    David Nelson, 53, and Nicole Anderson, 42, are each facing misdemeanor charges in connection with a July 4 incident in Martinez, a city about 25 miles from San Francisco. The decision to charge the couple was made by officials with the Contra Costa County District Attorney's office.

    Nelson and Anderson are each charged with violation of civil rights, vandalism, and possession of tools to commit vandalism. If convicted of the charges, the defendants--who share a Martinez address--face up to a year in the county jail.

    Click here for a PDF copy of the Superior Court criminal complaint filed against the alleged vandals.

    Nelson and Anderson brazenly defaced the yellow BLM mural about an hour after it was painted Saturday afternoon. As seen in videos taken by onlookers, Anderson used a roller with black paint to cover the letters B and L.

    The mural, which was painted with the permission of city officials, was quickly restored after Saturday’s vandalism.

    While Anderson painted, Nelson retrieved a second can of black paint from the pair’s Nissan truck. Nelson, who was wearing a Make America Great Again hat and a Trump reelection t-shirt, declared, “The narrative of police brutality, the narrative of oppression, the narrative of racism. It’s a lie.”

    When a bystander told the couple that, “No one wants you here,” Nelson (seen at right) replied, “No one wants Black Lives Matter here.” He also noted, “Fucking keep America great again, that’s right,” and that the BLM street mural “is racism.”

    By the time cops responded to 911 calls about the vandalism, Nelson and Anderson had fled the scene. In a statement, Police Chief Manjit Sappal said that, “The community spent a considerable amount of time putting the mural together only to have it painted over in a hateful and senseless manner.” He added that “the damage to the mural was divisive and hurtful.”

    Last week, Martinez police reported seizing flyers “containing hate speech” from a downtown sidewalk. The flyers, Sappal said, “made threats of harm to those supporting the Black Lives Matter movement in the name of an organization called ‘White Pride World Wide.’”

    According to Superior Court records, Anderson filed in March 2004 for a domestic violence protection order against Nelson. Following a hearing, a three-year restraining order was issued by a judge. Anderson is identified as the “protected party” in a court docket, while Nelson is referred to as the “restrained person.”

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    In arguing to detain Ghislaine Maxwell, Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged madam/fellow sex trafficker, federal prosecutors contend that the socialite is a severe flight risk in light of the lengthy prison sentence she faces if convicted of felony charges detailed in an indictment unsealed today.

    Maxwell, 58, is charged with procuring and grooming underage girls for the late Epstein, a serial predator who committed suicide last year while imprisoned following his federal indictment for sex trafficking.

    Like Epstein, Maxwell has been charged in the Southern District of New York, where prosecutors today filed a memorandum seeking her detention in advance of trial on six felony counts. If convicted, Maxwell faces up to 35 years behind bars.

    Epstein and Maxwell are pictured above in a photo included in Maxwell’s indictment. Click here to download a PDF copy of the government memo seeking Maxwell’s pretrial detention.

    Maxwell, government lawyers wrote, has “extensive international ties” that would “make it exceptionally easy for her to flee and live abroad.” Maxwell, who became a naturalized U.S. citizen in 2002, is also a citizen of France, where she was born, and the United Kingdom, where she was schooled. “The defendant appears to possess passports” from all three countries, prosecutors noted.

    An examination of Maxwell’s finances identified more than 15 bank accounts “held by or associated with the defendant from 2016 to the present,” with combined balances that, at times, exceeded $20 million. Additionally, as recently as last year, Maxwell reported she “holds one or more foreign bank accounts containing more than a million dollars.”

    Maxwell’s financial resources “appear to be substantial, and her numerous accounts and substantial money movements render her total financial picture opaque and indeterminate,” prosecutors wrote.

    Since Epstein’s July 2019 indictment, Maxwell “has effectively been in hiding for approximately a year” in New England. Most recently, Maxwell was holed up on a 156-acre spread in Bradford, New Hampshire (where she was arrested this morning). The property, seen below, was purchased for cash seven months ago by a “carefully anonymized LLC,” prosecutors reported.

    Maxwell’s 4635-square-foot home was bought for $1.07 million in December 2019 by Granite Reality, LLC, which was incorporated a month earlier. According to New Hampshire state records, the company’s address is care of Nutter McClennen & Fish, a Boston law firm. Attorney Jeffrey Roberts, a partner who chairs the firm’s “Private Client Department,” is listed as manager of Granite Reality.

    Noting that Maxwell has no ties keeping her in the U.S.--like children, a job, or immediate family--prosecutors argued that “there are no bail conditions that could reasonably assure the defendant’s continued appearance in this case.”

    Maxwell is likely to seek bail, which may prompt a detention hearing at which both defense counsel and prosecutors can present arguments to Judge Alison Nathan.

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    Porn star Ron Jeremy was charged today with raping three women and sexually assaulting a fourth female victim in attacks dating back to 2014, according to California prosecutors.

    Jeremy (real name: Ronald Jeremy Hyatt) is named in an eight-count felony complaint filed in Superior Court in Los Angeles. In announcing the charges against the 67-year-old performer, prosecutors said they will ask a judge to set Jeremy’s bail at $6.6 million when he is arraigned later today.

    As alleged in the complaint, Jeremy raped a 25-year-old woman at a West Hollywood residence in 2014. He is also accused of committing three separate sex crimes at a West Hollywood bar. Two women--ages 33 and 46--were attacked in 2017, while the third victim, 30, was allegedly forcibly raped by Jeremy in July 2019.

    While Jeremy is the sole defendant charged, the complaint refers to an “accomplice” who helped restrain a woman allegedly raped by the porn star in March 2017.

    Click here for a PDF copy of the Jeremy complaint, which was sworn by Kevin Hom, an investigator with the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department’s special victims bureau.

    If convicted of the charges, Jeremy could face a maximum of 90 years to life in state prison, prosecutors say.

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    In real estate news, a North Carolina eyesore decorated with dozens of Confederate flags has been sold by its longtime owner, a 74-year-old jackass with a lengthy rap sheet.

    According to Nash County property records, Edward Lee West last year sold his small cottage in Rocky Mount, a predominantly African-American city about 60 miles east of Raleigh, to a Latino couple for $9000 (the same price he paid for the 627-square-foot home in 2002).

    The house, built in 1910, is pictured above in a 2015 photo and below in a realtor’s image from last year.  

    For years, West’s fenced-in home had multiple Confederate flags flying outside the ramshackle one-bedroom, one-bath property, which was protected by barbed wire and a wooden fence.

    Following the June 2015 church massacre in Charleston, South Carolina that was perpetrated by white supremacist Dylan Roof, West added even more Confederate flags outside his residence. At the time, West said that he owned about 150 Confederate battle flags.

    In the face of criticism about his flags, West said that if neighbors did not like the display they should move.

    It is unknown what prompted the sale or where West has relocated, though he does not appear on a tax assessor’s list of current property owners in Nash County. According to court records, West has been arrested multiple times for weapons offenses.

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    Even in a country roiled by mayhem and disease, a Floridian will still find the time to assault someone with a hamburger, records show.

    According to police, Tanya Cordero, 47, was arrested Monday evening following a confrontation with her boyfriend in a Largo mobile home owned by the man’s mother.

    Cordero and the 39-year-old victim have “four children in common,” according to an arrest affidavit, though a grandmother has full custody of the couple’s offspring.

    The confrontation between Cordero and her boyfriend was reportedly touched off when Cordero, seen at right, became upset when the man closed a window in her room.

    So, investigators allege, Cordero "smashed hamburger in his face."

    When questioned by police, Cordero “denied doing so, but [her boyfriend] still had hamburger in his ear upon arrival.” Cordero, cops added, “made a comment that she hoped he choked on the burger.”

    Charged with domestic battery, a misdemeanor, Cordero was later released from the county jail on her own recognizance. A judge has ordered her to have no contact with the victim.

    Cordero’s rap sheet includes convictions for theft, narcotics possession, and providing a false name to police. In January, she was convicted of battering her boyfriend during an October 2019 argument about one of their children’s Halloween costume. She served three months in jail on the battery conviction.

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    A Massachusetts resident is facing an assault charge after allegedly striking a highway worker with a “large pickle” thrown from a moving vehicle.

    According to police, Christoph Herrmannsdoerfer, 34, was a passenger in a vehicle that was traveling yesterday afternoon on U.S. Route 7 in Vermont. Cops allege that Herrmannsdoerfer threw a pickle that hit Carl Hoffman, a 59-year-old employee of the Vermont Agency of Transportation.

    The pickle, cops say, “struck the victim and caused him pain.”

    Pictured at right, Herrmannsdoerfer was later located and cited for simple assault, a misdemeanor. He is scheduled for a July 20 appearance in Vermont Superior Court.

    Herrmannsdoerfer, who lives in Williamstown, Massachusetts, has multiple drunk driving convictions on his rap sheet. Herrmannsdoerfer was arrested in 2016 in Florida after tangling with police after allegedly threatening an EMS worker with a corkscrew. He subsequently pleaded to a pair of misdemeanors.