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    Vexed by a perpetrator who has been painting penises in public for several months, Connecticut police today sought the public’s help in identifying the male vandal.

    According to New Haven cops, the suspect--armed with spray paint--has been drawing penises across the city, home to Yale University. In some instances, he has included the word “penis” next to his crude artwork.

    On Wednesday, a surveillance camera at the Beth El-Keser Israel synagogue captured the vandal in the act. At one point, the man sprayed paint at a surveillance camera (seen below).

    Police report that the suspect painted six penises during his travels Wednesday evening. Investigators have described the wanted man as a “member-marking-mischief-maker.”

    Anyone recognizing the penis painter is asked to contact cops at (203) 946-6316.

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    Meet Zayma Flores.

    Upon learning that her teenage son had found and then sold a bag of marijuana she had stashed in the family’s Florida home, Flores burned the boy’s hands over the kitchen stove, police charge. 

    Flores’s husband told Orlando cops that last week he “noticed a bag of weed was missing from under the master bathroom sink.” In short order, Armando Flores determined that his 15-year-old stepson had removed the pot and gave it to a friend.

    When Armando told his wife about the boy taking the pot, she responded with a punishment that resulted in her arrest Sunday on a felony child abuse charge (and the removal of her children from the family’s residence). According to an arrest affidavit, the boy suffered burns to his palms after “putting his hands on the kitchen stove.”

    It appears that the teen mistakenly believed that the marijuana was his sister’s and that he decided to take the pot so that she “would not use it.”

    Pictured above, Flores was released on bond yesterday from the Orange County jail. A judge has ordered her to have no contact with her son, who is living with his sister at a relative’s home.

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    A health-conscious Florida man is facing theft charges after police arrested him for stealing kale, the reigning Vegetable of the Year.

    Shane Stahl, 33, was nabbed Friday in connection with the theft of the chewy green from a Walmart Supercenter in Palm Harbor, a community 25 miles west of Tampa.

    Stahl, seen above, is also accused of nicking croutons and “salad,” according to a criminal complaint alleging that he pushed a shopping cart out of the store without paying for the produce.

    Stahl, a Tarpon Springs resident, is being held in the Pinellas County jail on retail theft charges (cops allege that he has targeted Walmart on multiple occasions).

    The popularity of kale, a cabbage relative, is a puzzlement to many due to its bitter taste and the need for recipes to "make it taste good."

    However, unlike competing vegetables, kale has achieved pop culture prominence due to the ubiquitous t-shirts and sweatshirts bearing its name (in the Yale University typeface). Additionally, in her 2014 video for the song "7/11," Beyonce is seen gyrating on a hotel balcony while wearing a "KALE" sweatshirt.

    kale, theft, Walmart
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    A horned Arizona man is facing a felony assault charge for allegedly slashing his wife with an eight-inch knife after he accused her of infidelity during an argument Sunday.

    According to Glendale police, Juan Vargas Rodriguez, 53, began quarreling with his wife when she returned home from work. At one point, cops say, Rodriguez demanded that his spouse sleep in a closet.

    When the woman rejected that request, Rodriguez allegedly responded by pulling out a knife and threatening her life. Rodriguez then slashed the victim in the left arm and left breast, investigators charge. The woman also sustained cuts on a hand when she tried to wrestle the knife from Rodriguez.

    The attack ended when Rodriguez’s adult daughter disarmed him and separated her father from the screaming victim.

    During police questioning, Rodriguez claimed not to recall details of the confrontation, saying he “kind of blacked out with rage.” The victim was not seriously injured during the attack.

    Rodriguez was arrested for aggravated assault and booked into the Maricopa County jail, where the above mug shot was taken. In addition to his subdermal implant horns, Rodriguez appears to have replaced his eyebrows with a series of tattooed dots.

    Rodriguez is scheduled for a June 6 Superior Court appearance.

    In July 2000, a horned Oklahoma man was arrested for allegedly trying to run down his landlord with a car. But the felony assault charge against Jesse Thornhill, seen below, was later dropped when the alleged victim testified that the incident was just a misunderstanding.

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    A Utah man arrested yesterday for running around naked with bells attached to his genitals explained to police that his lewd display was done to prompt a reaction from witnesses.

    Kenneth Allen Beck, 64, was collared Thursday by Utah County Sheriff’s Office deputies responding to a report of a naked man near the Diamond Fork Canyon hot springs in Spanish Fork, a city about 10 miles south of Provo.

    According to cops, several underage witnesses described Beck’s naked gallivanting.

    When deputies confronted Beck near the trailhead’s parking lot, he was dressed. However, Beck did not deny the accounts of the minors and said that he “just likes doing what witnesses described to see their reaction,” cops noted.

    Seen above, Beck was cited for lewdness involving a child, a misdemeanor. Beck’s rap sheet includes a 2005 conviction for exposing himself to a female restaurant employee while ordering food.

    It is unknown whether police confiscated Beck’s bells as evidence.

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    A South Carolina man was arrested yesterday after applying for a loan so that he could purchase methamphetamine, investigators allege.

    According to a police report, Grady Carson, 58, went to a Carolina Title Loans office in Spartanburg to secure a loan against his automobile. According to its web site, the loan company provides “fast cash to deal with an unexpected expense” and charges interest rates that begin at 96 percent.

    A Carolina Title Loans employee told cops that Carson--who was pacing as he filled out paperwork--told her he "needed the money to purchase meth."

    Since her manager was at another store, the worker “faxed a help letter” to the second employee, who contacted cops.

    When officers arrived at the loan business, Carson was handcuffed and a search of his pockets turned up “a glass container with a off white rock like substance inside.” Carson, cops noted, “stated it was cocaine but he was not going to smoke it because he did meth.”

    Carson, seen above, was charged with narcotics possession and booked into the county jail. He was released from custody around 4:40 AM today.

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    Meet Chiquita “Big Momma” McPherson.

    The 40-year-old Connecticut woman was arrested Saturday on charges that she ran a large heroin distribution ring and used her 10-year-old son to deliver the drug to street-level dealers.

    McPherson and her alleged partner, Leroy “Baby Lee” Bember, 50, were collared following an undercover operation by the Stratford Police Department. During a raid on the couple’s home, police seized heroin, cocaine, and narcotics packaging material.

    Investigators charge the pair’s residence doubled as a drug factory, with McPherson in charge of processing raw heroin and packaging it for sale. As part of the narcotics operation, McPherson allegedly directed her youngest child to deliver heroin to the ring’s dealers.

    Seen above, McPherson, a mother of four, was charged with narcotics sales, operating a drug factory, and conspiracy. For allegedly involving her son, McPherson was also charged with risk of injury to a child.

    Free on $20,000 bond, McPherson is scheduled for a May 31 arraignment on the felony counts. Bember, a convicted felon whose rap sheet includes narcotics convictions, is locked up in lieu of $100,000 bond.

    McPherson and Bember are seen in the below photo, which was uploaded to McPherson’s Facebook page a few days before the duo’s arrest.

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    After being arrested Friday for stealing items from a jeweler in a Florida mall, Prolancia Aquila Turner, 26, was pissed.

    Not at herself, of course, for hiding earrings valued at $12.50 in the waistband of her pants.

    Instead, the “crying and angry” Turner, 26, was miffed because, as she told police, “Everyone steals from this store. Why are you picking on me?”

    Seen in the adjacent mug shot, Turner was charged with retail theft for pilfering the merchandise from a Claire’s outlet in a Vero Beach mall. She is scheduled for a June 7 court appearance in connection with the misdemeanor count.

    Turner’s rap sheet includes two other theft arrests, both in 2015. It is unknown whether she considers those collars equally unjust as her latest bust.

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    A Walmart shopper arrested Saturday night for stealing a sex toy, lubricant, and a “vibrating penis ring” told police that she was “too lazy” to pay for the items, which she had stashed in her purse.

    Therasa Prine, 25, was collared after exiting a Walmart in St. Petersburg, according to an arrest affidavit.

    While Prine paid for some items, she allegedly sought to boost other goods, including a Trojan Ultra Touch personal massager, K-Y Intense Arousal Gel, and a LifeStyles vibrating ring.

    In addition to a shoplifting count, Prine is facing narcotics charges since cops found marijuana and the painkiller Dilaudid in her purse.

    Prine, pictured above, bonded out of jail Sunday after posting $4250.

    Prine’s rap sheet includes collars for grand theft, domestic battery, marijuana possession, resisting arrest, morphine possession, driving with a suspended or revoked license, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

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    A woman yesterday allegedly stabbed a Colorado man in the shoulder “after he refused to have sex with her,” according to police.

    The stabbing, cops say, occurred at 1:37 AM Wednesday in Colorado Springs. The victim dialed 911 to report he had been “stabbed in the shoulder and was bleeding.”

    When officers subsequently located the man, he “reported that he was stabbed by a white female after he refused to have sex with her.” A Colorado Springs Police Department report does not identify the victim or his assailant.

    The man was subsequently transported to a local hospital where he received treatment for a “non-life threatening stab wound to his shoulder.”

    No arrests have been made in connection with the attack, details of which are scant since the victim has not been fully cooperative with police or medical personnel.

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    A South Carolina man seeking to “get back at” an unfaithful ex-girlfriend is facing criminal charges after a cop caught him spray painting the word "CHEETER" on the woman’s car.

    Timothy Lee Trammell, 36, was nabbed Friday after a Union County Sheriff’s Office deputy spotted him vandalizing the auto outside a One Stop convenience store in the town of Jonesville. Trammell’s ex, cops report, works at the business.

    Trammell, who was first spotted crouched next to the vehicle with a can of spray paint in his hand, tried to run from an approaching deputy, but was quickly apprehended. According to a sheriff's report, Trammell subsequently confessed to the vandalism, explaining that he was trying "to get back at her."

    Police estimated that Trammell’s tagging caused $500 in damages to the victim’s 2013 Chevy Sonic.

    As seen above, cops photographed Trammell’s misspelled handiwork for evidentiary (and entertainment) purposes.

    In addition to the vandalism count, Trammell (seen at left) was charged with marijuana possession after a post-arrest search turned up a joint. Trammell may also be hit with narcotics possession charges since investigators also discovered two controlled substances--Lortab and Suboxone--in a cigarette pack found in his pocket.

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    An Oklahoma man found walking naked on a Tulsa street explained that his cuckoo behavior was due to “coco puffs.”

    According to police, James Knox, 35, was spotted strolling "fully naked" Saturday afternoon by a cop who subsequently arrested him for indecent exposure and public intoxication.

    Since Knox, pictured above, appeared to be in an altered state, he was initially transported to a Tulsa hospital. While being examined by medical personnel, Knox revealed that he had been smoking "coco puffs," street slang for cigarettes stuffed with crack cocaine rocks.

    Upon release from the hospital, Know was brought to the county jail, where he is being held in lieu of $2100 bond.

    Knox is scheduled for a May 13 court appearance.

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    Police are hunting for a pair of thieves who stole nearly $500 worth of Bibles from a Christian bookstore in Massachusetts.

    Cops in West Springfield report that the shoplifters boosted the Good Books Saturday evening from the Morning Star bookstore. The suspects swiped eight Bibles, each of which cost $60.

    According to its web site, the Morning Star chain “provides resources for all Christian denominations” and stocks a “wide selection of Bibles, artwork, gifts, church resources, prayer shawls, annointing oil, plus thousands of books, DVDs, and CDs.”

    In a bid to capture the Bible thieves, police released the above surveillance images of the two suspects in the April 23 heist.