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    Meet Chao Gao.

    After discovering a dildo among her husband’s belongings during a move Wednesday night, the Florida woman attacked her spouse, leaving him with bruises and scratches on his face, according to cops who arrested Chao for domestic battery.

    As detailed in court records, the 48-year-old Chao and Joshua Sinclair, who have been married for just over a year, were driving to a new residence in Sarasota when Gao confronted Sinclair about the sex toy she discovered.

    In a police statement, Sinclair wrote that Gao became furious upon learning from him that “a dildo she found was actually for me to use.”

    An argument between the couple then allegedly turned physical. Sinclair charged that Gao--who was driving at the time--began to “beat and slap and pinch my face with her hand repeatedly” for about 30 minutes. The attack ended, Sinclair said, when the duo arrived at their new home (from which he dialed police).

    When a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office deputy arrived in response to the 911 call, he found Sinclair with “injuries of bruising and scratching” to “the victim’s right eye, lip, nose, and forehead.” Gao “had no signs of injuries,” according to a probable cause affidavit.

    Gao, who operates a Sarasota day care facility, was arrested on a misdemeanor domestic battery count. She was released from custody yesterday and is scheduled for arraignment on March 15.

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    A wheelchair-bound 74-year-old woman was the main heroin dealer for a Florida drug ring that also peddled cocaine, pot, and prescription narcotics, according to law enforcement officials who yesterday announced the arrest of the septuagenarian and her cohorts.

    According to investigators, Ruth Perez-Lopez sold heroin from a fortified Orlando residence outfitted with a high-tech security system.

    Perez-Lopez, seen at right, was targeted during a yearlong operation dubbed “Deals on Wheels” by state and federal agents.

    A Drug Enforcement Administration official estimated that the ring sold about two kilos of drugs per month from the Orlando home Perez-Lopez shared with a pair of convicted felons (both of whom have been charged in the “Deals on Wheels” probe).

    Perez-Lopez is charged with heroin trafficking and conspiracy, felonies for which she is being held in the Orange County lockup in lieu of $650,000 bond, according to jail records.

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    A Wisconsin jury has rejected claims from a repeat drunk driver that he smelled of booze during a traffic stop because he had just eaten beer-battered fish at lunch.

    John Przybyla, 76, was convicted yesterday of his tenth drunk driving offense by an Adams County jury that also found him guilty of a second felony charge and a misdemeanor driving with a revoked license count.

    Przybyla, seen at right, faces a maximum of more than 12 years in prison on the three counts.

    As detailed in a police report, Przybyla was pulled over by a cop in October 2014 for driving erratically. Upon approaching Przybyla, a deputy noticed the “smell of a moderate odor of an intoxicating beverage emitting from his breath.” Additionally, the cop noted that Przybyla’s eyes were bloodshot and glossy, and an open can of Red Dog Beer was on the truck’s passenger seat.

    During questioning, Przybyla denied that he had been drinking, and said that he was on the way home after attending a fish fry, where he had consumed “beer battered fish.”

    While Przybyla’s blood alcohol content was subsequently measured at .062--below the legal limit--his long history of driving while drunk had resulted in a legal restriction barring him from driving with a BAC above .02.

    Przybyla struggled with cops as a nurse sought to draw a blood sample for testing. The suspect said “he was going to sue us for taking his blood because it was against his religion,” reported Deputy Brian Loewenhagen.

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    Meet Vaughn Tucker.

    The Oklahoman, 23, was booked into jail Saturday evening wearing a t-shirt that might have given fellow inmates the wrong idea.

    Seen above, Tucker was collared by Tulsa cops for possession of marijuana with intent to distribute, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

    Tucker spent several hours in the county lockup before he was released early Sunday after posting bond on the felony and misdemeanor counts.

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    An Alabama man dressed as a clown was arrested last night for drunk driving, according to cops who noted that the suspect “gave no explanation” for his odd attire.

    Acting on a tip from another motorist, a Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office deputy spotted a Ford SUV weaving across a road in Pinson, a city outside Birmingham.

    Upon stopping the car around 8:30 PM, the cop noticed that “the driver of the vehicle was dressed as a clown,” according to investigators. The motorist, Joel Allan Sloan, 51, told the deputy that he “just had a few drinks.”

    Sloan, police report, “gave no explanation for the clown costume.”

    In addition to being collared for DUI, Sloan was also charged in connection with an outstanding felony theft warrant. Sloan is being held in the county lockup in lieu of $2500 bond, according to jail records.

    As seen above, the handcuffed Sloan was photographed in full clown regalia while in custody. He also posed for a mug shot without his rainbow wig and colorful suit.

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    A Tennessee man who has the word “Psycho” tattooed across his forehead is locked up for allegedly stabbing another man in the stomach, police report.

    Charles White, 44, was arrested early yesterday in connection with the knifing of Jess Miller, 34, who is now hospitalized. The attack--for which White has been charged with felony aggravated assault--occurred Wednesday evening in La Follette, a city 40 miles north of Knoxville.

    White, seen at right, is a convicted felon who has spent time in state prison. He is currently being held in the Campbell County jail.

    In addition to his “Psycho” ink, White has “Nazi” tattooed across his throat.

    Click here for other stories about perps with forehead tattoos.

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    A woman suspected of scratching her boyfriend’s face and neck claimed that the man’s wounds occurred as they engaged in “freaky sex,” an explanation that was rejected by Florida cops who arrested her for domestic battery.

    According to police, Miracle Graves, 20, tangled Sunday with Harry Johnson in the St. Petersburg apartment shared by the couple (who have dated for three years).

    When police arrived at the residence, Graves “stated she was having ‘Freaky sex,’” while Johnson “denied any consensual sex.” While Johnson was uncooperative with cops, he did advise that Graves “would not allow him to leave for work,” according to an arrest affidavit.

    An investigator noted that Johnson had abrasions and minor lacerations on his neck, face, right arm, and right foot. Graves “had no apparent trauma marks at this time,” reported Deputy Jason Evarts.

    Pictured above, Graves was arrested and booked into the county jail, where she remains locked up in lieu of $2000 bond. Graves’s rap sheet includes multiple prior battery and disorderly intoxication busts.

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    Thanks to Officer Philip Mainiero, another of the daily indignities directed at police has been memorialized in a criminal complaint.

    Mainiero, a patrolman with the Berwick Police Department in Pennsylvania, last month arrested John Flores Rivera, 52, for drunk driving.

    As Mainiero sought to get Flores Rivera to perform field sobriety tests, the motorist was “staring off into the sky not paying attention.” And that is when the suspect provided the cop with a lasting memory of their 2 AM encounter in the 200 block of Chestnut Street.

    “Flores Rivera then farted and stated, ‘That’s for you,’” Mainiero reported. After "smelling the air," Flores Rivera added, “That’s what pork and mashed potatoes will do.”

    Flores Rivera, whose blood alcohol content was measured at .13, was not cited in connection with the airborne assault on Mainiero. He was, however, charged with disorderly conduct for allegedly ignoring the cop’s demands to place his hands behind his back.

    Flores Rivera is scheduled for a February 10 District Court hearing.

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    An ex-con is facing a battery charge after he struck a Walmart employee in the face with a bag of potato chips during an argument with the victim, according to Florida police.

    James Robertson, 61, was busted Wednesday morning following a confrontation with a female staffer at a Walmart in Gainesville.

    Cops say that Robertson, seen at right, “engaged in a verbal argument” with worker Tara Haynes over her refusal “to make a sale to him.” After Haynes asked Robertson to leave the store, he allegedly “took a bag of chips he was attempting to buy and threw it at” the Walmart employee.

    The potato chips, police noted, struck Haynes "in the face and upper chest," though she was not injured by the flying snacks.

    During police questioning, Robertson reportedly “admitted to throwing the chips... because he was angry.”

    Robertson, charged with misdemeanor battery, was freed on his own recognizance after being booked into the county jail on the misdemeanor rap. As part of his release conditions, Robertson has been barred from returning to Walmart.

    According to court and state prison records, Robertson is a convicted felon whose rap sheet includes arrests for escape, battery, loitering, trespass, battery on a law enforcement officer, and criminal mischief.

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    A woman ended up in handcuffs yesterday after allegedly stealing handcuffs and other items from a Walmart in Florida.

    Renee White, 47, was nabbed upon walking out of the Clearwater store Thursday afternoon with $69.70 worth of merchandise “concealed upon her person and in her purse,” according to an arrest affidavit.

    White’s alleged haul included a USB cable ($19.88), an HP ink cartridge ($31.97), and a pair of handcuffs valued at $3.97. While the restraints are not further described, Walmart sells costume handcuffs and “Bachelorette Furry Wrist Cuffs” for a similar price.

    Charged with misdemeanor retail theft, White was released from jail late last night after posting $150 bond.

    White is pictured above in a mug shot taken following a 2014 arrest for domestic battery (prosecutors subsequently opted to not pursue the misdemeanor count). White pleaded no contest last year to a retail theft charge, according to court records.   

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    Supermodel Tyra Banks, who recently went public with details about her struggles getting pregnant, is a new parent, The Smoking Gun has learned.

    Banks and photographer Erik Asla last month welcomed York Banks Asla into the world. The boy was born via a surrogate mother at a Connecticut hospital.

    Banks rushed to disclose the child's arrival in an Instagram post shortly after a TSG reporter sent her husband an e-mail inquiring about the birth.

    In a People magazine interview last year, Banks, 42, spoke of her difficulties conceiving, saying that she had undergone in vitro fertilization procedures in the hopes of having a baby.

    “When you're like, ‘OK, I’m just going to do it,’ then it’s not so easy as you get older," Banks said as she teared up. “I’ve had some not happy moments with that, very traumatic moments," she added. “It’s difficult as you get older. It’s not something that can just happen.”

    On the day following the baby’s birth, a photo (seen above) of Banks and Asla appeared on the star’s Instagram page with the caption, “Everyone deserves to be loved like this.” It was the only social media posting the “America’s Next Top Model” host made in the days following her son’s birth.

    According to domain registry records, the url yorkbanksasla.com was purchased on January 5 by Ty Loke, LLC, a Los Angeles firm controlled by Banks. The star has previously used the company when registering scores of domains, including those for her charitable foundation and Bankable Productions, a film and TV company.

    Ty Loke, LLC is also the holder of trademarks like “Tyra Banks,” “Modeland,” and “Smize” (a Banks catchphrase for “smiling with your eyes”).

    According to press reports, Banks met Asla, 50, in 2013 while he was a judge on the Norway version of “Top Model.” Asla has older children, including a daughter who works as an Elite model.

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    A Detroit man who died early Sunday in a one-car crash was pantsless and masturbating while watching a pornographic movie on his cell phone, according to police who investigated the accident.

    The rollover crash occurred around 3:40 AM as motorist Clifford Ray Jones, 58, was driving a 1996 Toyota on a freeway near Interstate 75.

    Michigan State Police officials report that Jones became "distracted" while watching the film and lost control of the car, which overturned. Jones, who was not wearing a seat belt, was partially ejected through the car’s sun roof and died on the scene,

    Accident investigators discovered that Jones, who was alone in the Toyota, was not wearing pants at the time of the crash.

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    An Uber driver leveled a handgun at a passenger during a dispute Friday evening that began when the driver, fearing that his customer was going to throw up in the Lexus, attempted to yank him from the vehicle, Florida cops report.

    According to investigators, Patrick McDonald, 67, was driving Shane Fabry and other passengers home around 8 PM when Fabry asked McDonald to pull the car over “in the event that he began to vomit.”

    After McDonald (seen at right) stopped the auto, Fabry, 27, advised that he was “feeling better and no longer felt like he was going to be sick.” McDonald, however, apparently did not want to take any chances. The driver “told the victim that he needed to get out the car and he was not to throw up” in the $75,000 ride.

    Upon opening the rear passenger door, McDonald “attempted to pull the victim out of the car by grabbing his left arm,” a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office deputy alleged. During the argument that ensued, McDonald first took an “aggressive fighting stance” and then reached into the car and “produced a black semi-automatic handgun,” according to a probable cause affidavit.

    Fabry--a licensed private investigator who also holds a Florida firearms license--and a witness said that McDonald pointed the guy directly at Fabry, who is pictured at left.

    When questioned by cops, McDonald admitted “grabbing the gun out of the car,” but denied pointing it at Fabry. McDonald said he retrieved the weapon “because he was in fear for his life.” Asked why he was scared, McDonald replied that his passengers were talking about “sticking dicks in his ear.”

    McDonald was arrested and charged with aggravated assault, a felony, and misdemeanor battery. He was released from custody Saturday after posting $2500 bond, and is scheduled for a February 26 court appearance.

    Earlier today, Fabry placed a link on his Facebook page to a Bradenton Herald story about McDonald’s collar. In response, one of Fabry’s friends remarked, “Nice... You should have puked in that shit!!” Another pal declared, “You shoulda shit too. LOL.”