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    A Missouri man is facing a felony theft charge for allegedly swiping eight “luxury” vibrators from an adult toy store and then trying to fence them via Facebook Marketplace , according to court records.

    Christopher Michael Booth, 34, was named yesterday in a felony complaint charging him with stealing the vibrators--valued at a combined $1539.20--from a Hustler Hollywood outlet in Berkeley, a St. Louis suburb.

    The purloined sex toys, which retail for around $200 apiece, are manufactured by Lelo, a Swedish company that advertises itself as “one of the world’s leading designer brands for intimate lifestyle products.”

    Booth last month allegedly took the vibrators from a display, placed them in a white trash bag, and raced out of the store.

    Employees told police they recognized the suspect because he had been in the store a day earlier and had argued with them before being asked to leave. The man, workers also recalled, had the number “314” prominently tattooed on his neck (314 is the main St. Louis area code).

    Items “consistent with those stolen from the store” were later “offered for sale on Facebook Marketplace under defendant’s Facebook profile,” police allege.

    Booth’s rap sheet includes multiple theft convictions.

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    On Easter, the manager of a Walgreens store suffered a Bible belting “because she was being rude,” according to a customer who is now facing a felony battery charge.

    Police say Peter Owens, 35, went to the pharmacy Sunday evening to purchase a pair of headphones. While at the Clearwater, Florida business, Owens got into a “verbal altercation” with an employee over the headphones, according to a criminal complaint.

    When Nicole Merck, the 36-year-old store manager, approached Owens (seen at right) and asked him to leave the Walgreens, “Peter used the brown Bible in his hand and struck Nicole in the face one time before he exited the store.”

    After the alleged Bible battery, cops located Owens and took him into custody. After being read his rights, Owens reportedly admitted to striking Merck “in the face one time with his Bible because she was being rude to him.”

    “Peter stated he did not mean to hit her,” Officer Ryan Wall reported.

    The criminal charge against Owens was enhanced to a felony count since he has a 2020 conviction in Michigan for assault & battery (for which he was sentenced to a year’s probation).

    Owens was released from the county jail last night after posting $5000 bond. A judge has ordered him to have no contact with Merck and he must stay away from the Walgreens outlet.

    According to his Facebook page, Owens works as a golf instructor and is a Wayne State University graduate. A Grosse Pointe, Michigan native, Owens now lives in Ellenton, a Gulf Coast city near Sarasota.

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    A Florida Woman has begun serving a prison sentence for a recent naked rampage at a convenience store that included a masturbation session conducted in front of police, records show.

    Celia Barrett, 35, pleaded guilty earlier this month to a variety of criminal charges stemming from her unclothed antics at a RaceTrac convenience store in late-January.

    Barrett was sentenced to 15 months in state prison after copping to aggravated assault, a felony, and four misdemeanors, including exposure of sexual organs and disorderly intoxication. Following her sentencing, Barrett was transferred on March 20 from the Pinellas County jail to the custody of the Florida Department of Corrections.

    Al alleged by police, a drunken Barrett threatened workers at a RaceTrac in St. Petersburg with a sharp-edged vegetable peeler and destroyed merchandise. Also, “The defendant prior to being taken into custody began masturbating in front of deputies, while still inside of the [store],” a cop noted.

    In addition to the prison term, Barrett--who has previously served time for battery and marijuana possession--was ordered to pay fines, fees, and court costs totaling around $1100.

    Barrett is pictured above in a Department of Corrections intake photo.

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    A Chipotle manager exposed himself and masturbated in the dining room of a Pennsylvania restaurant, according to police who say that a female victim “felt three squirts of liquid hit her jeans” when she got up to leave the table where the man had allegedly been pleasuring himself.

    Following the March 1 incident at the eatery in Camp Hill, a Harrisburg suburb, two women went to the local police station to “report a sexual assault,” according to a March 18 criminal complaint.

    The women--one of whom was a former Chipotle employee--detailed an encounter with Kyseem Ransome, the 26-year-old manager. The duo told cops they were seated at a communal table (seen below) talking with Ransome and other employees when Ransome began “doing something with his hands down his crotch.”

    One of the women said she saw Ransome “touching his penis outside his pants,” recalling that she was “in denial” and looked away. The woman added that Ransome “grabbed numerous napkins and placed them down by his penis” and subsequently “brought one napkin up from his crotch and placed it on the table. The napkin was sticking to itself.”

    The second woman reported noticing Ransome “moving his hands a lot down around his penis,” adding that she “could see him jacking off.”

    When the former Chipotle worker got up to leave the table, she “felt three squirts of liquid hit her jeans,” the complaint alleges.

    During police questioning, Ransome reportedly “confirmed the incident” in verbal and written statements. He was charged yesterday with multiple misdemeanors, including indecent assault, open lewdness, and indecent exposure.

    Ransome was suspended from Chipotle and, if he has not been already, is expected to be fired. Ransome is pictured above wearing his Chipotle uniform in a selfie apparently snapped in the restaurant’s bathroom.

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    Meet Layton Paul Nauman.

    The 60-year-old sound engineer went to the beach Saturday afternoon hoping to arrange a sexual encounter or “maybe just go home with someone’s phone number,” according to court records.

    While such goals may be commonplace, Nauman’s unusual tactics resulted in his arrest at Blind Creek Beach, a clothing optional spot in Jensen Beach, Florida.

    In response to prior complaints about lewd behavior occurring on beach pathways, a sheriff’s deputy was on foot patrol when he came upon a naked Nauman “seated in a recliner chair” with a hat over his face around 12:30 PM.

    An arrest report offers an explicit account of the “genital presentation” observed by the cop. Click here to read the document, with its description of multiple rings, a metal chain, and a note advising passerby to “Please feel free to investigate! Gently.”

    But you can read the document.

    While the beach allows nudity, police reported that the pathways are accidentally frequented by “parents with children as well as other beachgoers” and that Nauman’s “scenario” was “unacceptable at a public beach.”

    Seen above, Nauman was busted for indecent exposure, a misdemeanor, and booked into the county jail. He was released later that day upon posting $500 bond.

    The officer’s “complete interaction” with Nauman on March 9 was recorded on a body worn camera, the report notes.

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    A Wisconsin man who legally changed his first name to “Deez-Nuts” has been arrested following a violent domestic confrontation, police report.

    Deez-Nuts Kroll, 42, was busted Tuesday night for battery and disorderly conduct, both misdemeanors, according to a criminal complaint which includes a Green Bay Police Department officer’s observation that, “Deez-Nuts appeared to be highly intoxicated.”

    Police allege that Kroll punched and shoved his daughter and tangled with her boyfriend at the E. Walnut Street residence where the trio resides. According to the complaint, Kroll accused his daughter of failing to do small household chores and care for their puppies.

    At one point, cops allege, Kroll--who was unencumbered by a shirt--pulled out a BB gun that resembled a pistol.

    Kroll was booked into the Brown County jail, from which he was released Wednesday after posting $1000 bond.

    Born with the first name Derrick, Kroll originally changed his name to “Dez-Nuts” in 2011, according to court records. Then, six years later, he successfully petitioned to add an “e” to his first name, making it Deez-Nuts. “It was not spelled right,” Kroll noted in a handwritten 2017 name change application.

    Pictured above, Kroll has stuck with the middle name “Lee.”

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    Meet Connor Litka.

    The 21-year-old last week walked into a Porsche dealership in Louisville, Kentucky and sought to purchase a car with a $78 million check.

    When told by employees at Blue Grass Motorsport that “they were not going to sell him the vehicle,” Litka allegedly walked to the parts department “looking for keys.”

    Litka (seen at right) ignored requests to leave the dealership “until he got his vehicle,” according to a police citation.

    Fearing that “something bad was going to happen because of [Litka’s] behavior,” a worker called cops, who arrested Litka after he again refused to depart the Porsche dealership.

    Charged with criminal trespassing and disorderly conduct, both misdemeanors, Litka is scheduled to appear this morning in District Court.

    A day before trying to pass the $78 million check, Litka attempted to purchase a vehicle from a nearby Land Rover dealership. He was only carrying a check for $12 million that day.

    The citation lists Litka’s residence as an apartment complex in Bloomington, Indiana, which is about 100 miles from Louisville. According to his LinkedIn page, Litka is a business student at Indiana University, where he enrolled in 2021.

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    Police report that a suspect made off with a 16-figure haul after burglarizing a Pennsylvania residence earlier this month.

    Investigators say that the Bedford home was broken into on February 6 by “an unknown individual” who made off with several pieces of jewelry, silver dollars worth $20, and 2,000,000,000,000,000 in currency.

    Zimbabwean currency.

    According to a police report, “twenty Zimbabwe 100 trillion dollar bills” were swiped by the burglar.

    For some reason, the report values the stolen currency as worth $1 million U.S.. However, the Zimbabwe bills--issued during a period of hyperinflation--are essentially worthless as currency. Instead, they are sold as a numismatic oddity for around $10 apiece.

    The burglar also escaped with $30 in loose change.

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    The female victim, 64, was covered in grits when officers arrived, according to a police report.

    An argument over kitchen usage turned violent Monday afternoon when Jakiela Mobley, 28, “grabbed some of the grits” being cooked by her mother and “hit her in the face” with the porridge.

    The victim, Ila Johnson, told Florida cops that Mobley had been drinking and using drugs, and that “when she does this, she becomes aggressive towards her.” Johnson added that she did not want to contact police since “the matter was juvenile at its core.”

    A sheriff’s deputy who responded to the Ocala residence noted that he “observed dried grits on the side of the victim’s face,” as well as matching grits on the kitchen counter and in a nearby dustpan.

    Pictured above, Mobley was arrested for battery, a misdemeanor, and booked into the Marion County jail, where she is being held in lieu of $2500 bond.

    Mobley, who told police she had been sleeping on the streets, “has multiple battery arrests but does not have any convictions.”

    battery, grits
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    After being arrested again for trespassing on the grounds of an Ohio library, a suspect explained to police that “a higher power allowed him” to be on the property at 1:20 AM.

    Specifically, Carnel Gittens claimed he had “checked with Christ” and secured permission, according to a police report.

    Gittens, 28, was arrested early Saturday outside the public library in Sandusky, a city an hour outside Cleveland. Gittens (right) was using an exterior outlet to charge his phone, cops reported.

    Gittens--who had twice previously been busted trespassing at the library--cited Christ when a patrolman asked what he was doing on the property. Charged with criminal trespass, Gittens was booked into the Erie County jail, where he remains locked up on $1750 bond.

    Following a 2023 arrest, Gittens, who is nicknamed “Cloud,” told police he “was from Canada and he has been wandering Ohio for the past year.”

    Christ could not be reached for comment.

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    As Trevor Noah prepares to host this weekend’s Grammy Awards, here is a look at his 2023 tour rider, which emphasizes the importance of throat lozenges and the comedian’s devotion to a certain flame-grilled chicken.

    Along with “100% sole star billing in all advertising and publicity,” the 39-year-old performer reserves the right to cancel a gig if something better comes along, like a movie role, TV series, or “any Las Vegas, Reno, Tahoe or Atlantic City type engagement.”

    Noah’s dressing room, promoters are told, needs to be stocked with with Throat Coat tea, Vocalzone lozenges, Entertainer’s Secret throat spray, a box of Grether’s Pastilles lozenges, and Manuka honey. Also an assortment of Larabar energy bars and four “Muscle Milk protein shakes.”

    Compared to some stars, Noah’s demands are moderate and he seeks to dissuade the stuffing of his dressing room with extra grub: “We do not like to waste food. We appreciate your kindness but please don’t provide more perishable food than is requested.”

    While Noah’s “talent party...will always want to order from local restaurants,” there is one exception: “UNLESS there is a Nando’s Peri Peri Chicken in your city. Nando’s will always supersede any other artist and crew catering.”

    Nando’s, founded in South Africa, is a multinational chain known for its flame-grilled chicken and hot sauces. While Nando’s has opened more than 1200 restaurants worldwide since 1987, the firm’s U.S. outlets number only a few dozen (with none in New York or Los Angeles).

    Noah likely discovered the majesty of Nando’s while growing up in Johannesburg.

    As seen below, the rider also includes one of the “Trevor Renderings” produced to show how Noah’s stage and lighting are to be set up.

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    The Mississippi woman whose toddler was wearing only a diaper when she took the boy to Walmart on a freezing day was arrested for child neglect, records show.

    Kambria Darby, 26, was busted last Wednesday morning following the troubling incident at the Walmart Supercenter near her home in Byram, a Jackson suburb.

    Darby was charged with contributing to the neglect or delinquency of a minor and booked into the Hinds County jail.

    In a viral video recorded by a Walmart worker, the boy’s lips are trembling as he sits in a shopping cart on his mother’s coat. At one point, Darby tosses a bag of frozen food atop the child’s exposed legs.

    When a man confronts Darby and asks, “What’s wrong with you?,” she tells him to lower his voice before twerking in his direction.

    Later in the video, a female shopper is seen putting pants and a shirt--which she obtained from a Walmart rack--on the boy. While a stranger is clothing her toddler, Darby stands by scrolling on her phone.

    Temperatures on January 17 hovered around the freezing mark. The day before, city government offices were closed due to icy road conditions.

    According to a Byram Police Department report, officers seized a 9mm handgun described as Darby’s “personal property.” Darby, the report notes, was arrested after “taking her 2 year old in the store without clothing.”

    In a post-arrest Facebook post, Darby denied being a neglectful parent, but said that her children “were taken away from me by CPS.” The “deformation of character is hurting my heart,” she wrote, adding, “They did Jesus the same way.”

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    A woman punched her father in the head during an argument Christmas morning about the beeping sound made by the 73-year-old victim’s oxygen machine, police allege.

    According to an arrest affidavit, Christina Granados, 49, admitted striking her parent when questioned by cops who responded around 5 AM to the Lady Lake, Florida home that Granados shares with her father.

    The victim told officers that he argued with his daughter “about the oxygen machine making a beeping sound” before Granados “punched him in the left side of his head” on December 25.

    Granados, cops reported, said the pair quarreled “over his oxygen machine and due to the way her father was speaking to her.”

    As first reported by Villages News, Granados, seen above, was arrested for battery on a person over 65, a felony. She spent Christmas in the county jail, from which she was released the following afternoon upon posting $1000 bond.

    Granados, scheduled for a January 22 arraignment, has been ordered by a judge to have no contact with her father.