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    A couple sleeping off a night’s partying inside a Florida trash dumpster was emptied into a garbage truck whose driver told a police operator that, “I almost killed both of them.”

    According to cops, Lisa Sirabella, 49, and Donald Jordan, 37, were asleep inside a dumpster outside a Wawa market in Tampa when a Progressive Waste Solutions truck pulled up to the business around 5 AM today.

    Driver Radmas Valasquez hooked the dumpster up to his truck and emptied its contents--Sirabella and Jordan included--into the vehicle. After driving away, he heard the pair yelling from inside the truck bay and dialed 911.

    Sirabella and Jordan, who were not arrested today, are pictured in the above mug shots, which were taken following prior collars.

    “I was picking up some containers,” Valasquez told a police operator. “I got two people, I don’t know how they got in the back of the truck. But they stuck in the truck.” Valasquez noted that he went to compact the trash before realizing that Sirabella and Jordan were inside the truck. “I almost killed both of them,” he said.

    Emergency service workers were able to free Sirabella and Jordan from the garbage truck. They were then transported to Tampa General Hospital for treatment of injuries.

    Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office deputies surmised that the duo “likely became intoxicated at the Seminole Hard Rock & Casino” before dozing off in the dumpster. Jordan, who smelled of booze, told cops that the pair was visiting the Tampa area from Kissimmee, a city about 75 miles away.

    According to court records in Osceola County (where Kissimmee is located), Sirabella and Jordan have frequently been arrested over the past several years. Sirabella’s rap sheet includes busts for loitering, theft, battery, resisting arrest, and drunk driving. Jordan has been busted for cocaine possession, loitering, trespass, panhandling, drinking in public, battery, and disorderly conduct.

    drunk, Florida, Tampa
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    A Florida man was robbed at gunpoint Saturday night by three men who stole his stash of Starburst candies before pistol-whipping him and making their escape, cops say.

    According to the victim, he was walking on a Bradenton street around 8:40 PM when his assailants pulled up alongside him in a black sedan. The trio jumped out of the vehicle and flashed their weapons, according to a police report.

    The victim said he was ordered to empty out his pockets, which contained 32 packages of Starburst. The police report does not indicate why the victim was carrying so much candy.

    After swiping the Starburst, one of the robbers struck the man in the back of his head with a gun. The victim was subsequently transported by family members to a local hospital for treatment.

    Law enforcement officials believe that the Starburst robbery was part of a weekend crime spree by three juveniles who were arrested early Sunday following a car chase that ended in a crash. The minors are suspects in a pair of carjackings, an attempted carjacking, two robberies, and the discharging of a weapon.

    Following the auto crash, police found a semi-automatic handgun on the rear floorboard of the vehicle, which was taken at gunpoint Saturday from a woman who was sitting in the car waiting for family members, according to a police report.

    One of the suspects, Jaquez Terion Eldridge, 16, has previously been arrested for the armed robbery of two fellow teenagers. Seen at left, Eldridge, who uses the Facebook handle “Quez A Savage,” is a student at Horizons Academy, a Bradenton high school.

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    An 82-year-old woman is facing a larceny charge after she was caught trying to steal a bottle of “Sexiest Fantasies” body spray from a CVS pharmacy near her Georgia home, police report.

    Anneliese Young, the accused octogenarian, was collared when a store worker spotted her placing the item inside her purse. Young then walked out of the Augusta business without paying for the $7.39 body spray, according to a police report.

    Young, pictured in the above mug shot, was confronted by a pharmacy employee outide the store on January 27. While the apologetic pensioner copped to the theft and handed over the “Sexiest Fantasies” spray, Richmond County Sheriff’s Office deputies were summoned to the store. Young was arrested after a CVS employee “advised that she did wish to prosecute.”

    Pictured in the above mug shot, Young was arrested and briefly booked into the county jail.

    The “Sexiest Fantasies” body spray that Young sought to pinch was the brand’s “Fireworks” fragrance. According to the manufacturer, the spray “provides a burst of sensuality as plump wild strawberries, succulent peaches, and voluptuous vanilla come together to create a fragrance as addictive and seductive as the woman who wears it.” The product is also reportedly “sure to drive any man wild.”

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    A Connecticut woman left her two-week-old baby unattended in a car yesterday as she shopped with a male acquaintance at an adult novelty store, according to cops who arrested the duo on felony charges.

    According to police, Lindsay Hoffmann, 26, and Marquette Riggsbee, 54, sought to enter the VIP shop with the newborn Wednesday morning. But when employees told the pair that children were not allowed in the store, Hoffmann and Riggsbee departed.

    However, they soon returned without the baby. “Employees became concerned and went out to check on the infant,” according to a Southington Department of Police statement. After a worker found the child alone inside a 1997 Nissan Sentra, police were called.

    Responding officers noted that the “vehicle was not running and temperatures were below freezing” outside. Cops determined that Hoffmann and Riggsbee had been inside the store for more than 20 minutes.

    The baby’s core temperature was “found to be adequate but it did have cold extremities.” The child, who had been in a car seat, was transported to a hospital for evaluation. Cops noted that they contacted child welfare officials, who have launched their own investigation.

    Pictured in the above mug shots, Hoffmann and Riggsbee were each charged with risk of injury to a minor and leaving a child unsupervised. They are jailed in lieu of $25,000 bond.

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    Meet Edwin James Ross.

    The 33-year-old Oregonian was arrested Monday evening in Eugene for trespassing and booked into the Lane County jail on the misdemeanor charge.

    Ross, who was released from custody yesterday, is familiar with the lockup.

    He was first held there in 2003 following his arrest for murdering a 19-year-old friend with a shotgun blast to the head. Ross subsequently pleaded guilty to second-degree manslaughter and was sentenced to nine years in state prison. His most recent stay at the lockup was last June following a bust for domestic violence, reckless burning, and other charges.

    It is unclear whether the felon is a fan of the Anthony Burgess novella, Stanley Kubrick’s film adaptation, or ultraviolence in general.

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    A Florida man trapped and killed five small alligators so that he could prepare a gator tail dinner for Super Bowl Sunday, according to fish and wildlife officials.

    Richard Nixie, 30, was arrested Sunday--two hours before the football game even began--and charged with illegally taking the alligators, according to court records.

    When questioned by investigators, Nixie reportedly confessed to “taking/killing five small alligators less than 5’ in length,” according to a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission statement, which adds that Nixie also copped to “subsequently cutting their tails off for Super Bowl dinner.”

    Nixie planned to enjoy the gator tail feast in his home in DeBary, a city 25 miles north of Orlando.

    Seen in the above mug shot, Nixie was briefly booked into the Volusia County jail, from which he was released around 8 PM Sunday after posting $500 bail. He is scheduled for a March 3 court hearing on the misdemeanor charge.

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    A woman named Takeila Calada Brown has been spending recent weekends in a South Carolina jail, according to court records.

    The uniquely named defendant was sentenced to the 48-hour incarcerations in connection with a Family Court matter.

    In an unrelated case, the 35-year-old Brown was convicted last year of assault and received a 30-day suspended jail sentence on the misdemeanor charge (she was also fined $55). Additionally, Brown was indicted in 2011 for child neglect, though prosecutors eventually declined to pursue that charge.

    Brown is pictured in the above booking photo.

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    A North Dakota man was arrested Friday night for driving a Zamboni under the influence.

    Police were summoned to the South Sports Arena in Fargo by witnesses who reported that Steven Anderson, 27, was driving the ice resurfacing machine in an erratic manner. Anderson, a seasonal worker at the municipal facility, was operating the Zamboni between periods of a girls high school hockey game.

    Anderson, seen in the above mug shot, was arrested after cops concluded that he was intoxicated. Charged with DUI, Anderson was booked into the county jail, from which he was released yesterday after posting bond.

    In a Twitter post with the hashtag “bumperzamboni,” a spectator at the arena reported that, “I’ve never seen a zamboni have so much trouble around the edges.” Anderson was fired after his arrest.

    According to Cass County court records, Anderson was busted in mid-December for drunk driving (a car) and possession of drug paraphernalia. He pleaded guilty last month to those misdemeanor counts and was ordered to perform community service and pay about $1100 in fines and fees. A 30-day jail sentence was suspended by a Municipal Court judge.

    Anderson’s rap sheet also includes a 2009 conviction for public consumption of alcohol.

    A check of the TSG archive reveals two prior arrests for drunk Zamboniing. In 2005, a 63-year-old New Jersey man was popped after a manager called cops to report that the man was recklessy careening around the Mennen Sports Arena in Morris County. In 2012, a Minnesota man was nabbed after repeatedly bouncing the Zamboni off the sideboards of a rink in Apple Valley. When cops confronted the man, he smelled of booze and was unsteady on his feet.

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    After being locked up earlier this week on an outstanding arrest warrant, the world’s biggest Tom Brady fan was released from custody late last night, allowing him--barring a last-minute collar--to enjoy Super Bowl XLIX somewhere other than a Florida jail pod.

    Victor Thompson, 46, was busted Monday for failing to appear in court on a felony narcotics charge. Thompson was apprehended several days after a Circuit Court judge in Pinellas County signed an arrest warrant for him.

    After four days in jail, Thompson last night posted $2500 bond and walked out of the Clearwater lockup just before midnight. Thompson is seen at right in a jail booking photo.

    According to prison records, Thompson’s body features a variety of tattoos, from a skull and a dragon to roses and a depiction of Marilyn Monroe. But the Massachusetts native’s skull is reserved for Brady, the New England Patriots quarterback who has not hoisted the Vince Lombardi Trophy in a decade.

    As seen in the above police photos, Thompson’s noggin ink makes it appear like he is wearing a blue Patriots helmet, complete with team logos, Brady’s number (12), and the word “Riddell,” the manufacturer of the football star’s actual lid. Thompson’s skull helmet also has the word “Patriots,” an American flag, and the NFL shield.

    Thompson, who moved to Florida last year, was arrested in September on a felony count of possession of synthetic marijuana (he was also charged with trespassing, a misdemeanor). He is scheduled for a February 20 pretrial hearing on those charges.

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    A North Carolina driver is facing an assortment of criminal charges after a fellow motorist filmed her in a scary road rage incident.

    Kristen Leigh Phillips, 40, is scheduled to be arraigned February 9 on misdemeanor charges stemming from a roadway confrontation last Saturday in Randolph County, where Phillips resides.

    According to cops, Phillips recklessly passed another car on a two-lane road, nearly forcing the vehicle off the road. The driver of the second car, Sherri Hastings, dialed 911 to report the incident and began filming the vehicle now in front of her.

    As seen in the video--beginning around the 3:00 mark--Phillips abruptly stopped in the road and rushed out of her SUV to confront the 62-year-old Hastings. When she arrived at the driver’s side of the trailing car, Phillips reached into the window and took a swing at Hastings, who quickly began closing the car window.

    While the cursing, enraged Phillips pounded the window with her fists, Hastings’s terrified young granddaughter began crying. Before returning to her car, Phillips turned and yelled “Fuck you” as she held up both of her middle fingers.

    According to District Court records, Phillips has been charged with assault and battery, communicating threats, and injury to personal property.

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    A former Oregon State University student is facing a public lewdness charge after she filmed an X-rated video in the school’s library, a clip that has circulated widely on campus.

    Kendra Sunderland, 19, was arrested Tuesday in connection with the video shot in the school’s sprawling Valley Library. Sunderland, seated at a table in the library, is seen exposing her breasts and vagina, while also licking and touching herself in the 31-minute video (screen grabs from which can be seen above and below).

    The video was shot with Sunderland’s laptop and it appears she is exchanging typed messages with someone watching her exploits in real time. In fact, it seems that Sunderland’s performance was part of a webcam show. Other photos and videos found online depict the teenager--who uses an alias--engaged in similar lewd acts, all of which transpire in what appears to be her residence.

    At one point in the library video, Sunderland pulls down her jeans to reveal her panties, and then turns around and grabs her exposed buttocks. She is also seen exposing herself and masturbating.

    Sunderland has attended Oregon State, though she did not register for classes this term. It is unclear when Sunderland recorded the video, which shows her frequently looking around to make sure nobody notices that she is exposing herself.

    Sunderland did not respond to a message seeking comment that was sent to her Facebook page (which contains two photos of her wearing Oregon State t-shirts).

    If convicted of the misdemeanor lewdness count, Sunderland faces a maximum one-year prison term and a $6250 fine.

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    A Texas man who bragged on Facebook about having 16 outstanding arrest warrants was busted after a tipster called cops to report the ill-advised online boasting.

    Edward Smith, 22, was collared following a January 20 post reporting, “So, I have 16 warrants out right now. Lol they know where I’m at tho so, it must not be TOO bad.”

    When cops in Mineral Wells, a city 80 miles west of Dallas, researched warrant records, they determined that Wells only had 14 active warrants, some of which were three years old. According to records, Wells has been cited for petty theft, driving without insurance, and other minor infractions (for which he owes more than $1400 in fines).

    Smith--seen in the below mug shot--was subsequently released from custody after agreeing to a fine payment schedule. While his personal page appears to have been deleted, an Eddie Smith “community” page has appeared on Facebook.

    After Mineral Wells police arrested Smith, they went to Facebook and made their own post: “In the ‘you can't make this up’ file, a subject posted on Facebook that they had a bunch of Mineral Wells PD warrants but we couldn't do anything because they don't live in the city limits...then we show up and arrest them on 16 warrants.”

    Facebook, Texas
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    After Nebraska airport workers refused to allow her to board a plane with a three-week-old puppy, a woman allegedly went into a nearby bathroom and drowned the animal in a toilet bowl, police allege.

    Cynthia Anderson, a 56-year-old Florida resident, was arrested Friday afternoon at the Central Nebraska Regional Airport in Grand Island. Anderson, seen at right, was charged with animal cruelty.

    According to cops, Anderson first tried to board a plane Thursday with three uncaged puppies, but was turned away by airport personnel. After her parents took two of the dogs, Anderson returned to the airport Friday with the remaining puppy (which she sought to conceal in a carry-on bag).

    After she was again denied boarding, Anderson allegedly killed the Doberman puppy. A cop summoned to the airport reported, “On my arrival I learned a 3 week old puppy had been drowned in the toilet after a woman tried 3 times to get it on the plane.”

    Anderson was arrested after police interviewed her and “numerous witnesses,” including a woman who discovered the dead dog.

    Police reported that, “The puppy was taken to the Humane Society and autopsied. It was found to have water in one of its lungs.”

    Anderson remains locked up in the Hall County jail on the felony count.