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    10/16 UPDATE: Police release photo of victim

    A Florida man today took a stuffed animal off a Walmart shelf and then used the toy to masturbate before returning the ejaculate-covered item to a store shelf, police report.

    The repulsive episode occurred around 3 PM at a Walmart in Brooksville, a city 50 miles north of Tampa.

    According to a police report, Sean Johnson, 19, “selected a brown, tan, and red stuffed horse from the clearance shelf in the garden department.” He then went to the comforter aisle in the housewares section, “proceeded to pull out his genitals,” and “proceeded to hump the stuffed horse utilizing short fast movements.” The lewd act was captured by surveillance cameras.

    After Johnson “achieved an orgasm and ejaculated on the stuffed horse’s chest area,” he placed the “soiled stuffed horse on top of a bed in a bag (comforter set) contaminating that property also.”

    While Johnson fled the store before he could be apprehended by Walmart security, he was subsequently arrested by Brooksville Police Department officers. In a written statement, Johnson admitted that, “I did unmentionables to a stuffed animal.” Noting that he committed a “horrible act,” Johnson added, “I need to think before what I do. I’m extremely sorry.”

    Johnson, seen in the above mug shot, was charged with indecent exposure and criminal mischief and booked into the Hernando County jail. He was released from custody at 9:45 tonight after posting $1500 bond.

    The Walmart merchandise that came into contact with the reshelved stuffed animal was deemed contaminated and not suitable for sale.

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    A drunken college student dressed as a zombie Santa barged into a Minnesota home late Saturday, causing a boy to flee the home, while a teenage girl locked herself in a bathroom, police report.

    Brock Quinn Johnson, 21, was arrested for trespassing at the Minneapolis residence, which is a few blocks from the University of St. Thomas, which Johnson attends. Johnson apparently participated Saturday in the tenth annual Zombie Pub Crawl across Minneapolis.

    Johnson, pictured above, entered the home around 9:45 PM through an unlocked front door and encountered the boy, who screamed and ran out a rear exit. The girl locked herself in an upstairs bedroom and called her parents, who rushed home.

    Cops found Johnson--who had vomited--passed out in the home. When awoken, the collegian was disoriented and unaware of his location. He was cited for trespassing and brought to a detoxification center to sober up.

    According to his LinkedIn page, Johnson is scheduled to graduate next year from St. Thomas, a 10,000-student Catholic university. The Minnesota native is studying business administration, not theater arts.

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    Activist/author Cornel West is seen above in a mug shot taken following his arrest yesterday afternoon at a march protesting recent police shootings in the St. Louis, Missouri area.

    “I came here to go to jail,” the 63-year-old told fellow demonstrators during a rally Sunday evening.

    West was among a score of protesters arrested for disturbing the peace in Ferguson, where Michael Brown, 18, was shot to death by a police officer in August. The shooting of the unarmed teenager is the subject of an ongoing grand jury proceeding.

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    After arresting a local police chief for stalking and assault, Tennessee jailers allowed the man to pose for a booking photo with a cigar in his mouth and holding--not wearing--an orange inmate smock.

    Richard Stitts, who heads the Maury City Police Department, was booked Friday at the Crockett County Sheriff's Office, where he posed for two mugs shots. Stitts, 66, was busted for allegedly attacking the mother of his child. He was subsequently released on $2500 and has been suspended from his police post, which he has held for about 18 years.

    As seen above, Stitts was not treated like an ordinary defendant when processed by sheriff’s personnel. The mug shot has prompted an internal affairs investigation, according to Sheriff Troy Klyce.

    “This behavior is not consistent with the professional culture we have created within the sheriff's department,” Klyce wrote in a Facebook posting. He added that once the investigation is complete, “disciplinary action will be taken.”

    Stitts is scheduled for an October 23 appearance in General Sessions court, where cigars are prohibited.

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    A football fan with a Tom Brady helmet tattooed across his head is locked up in a Florida jail following his arrest on a narcotics charge.

    St. Petersburg cops last month busted Victor Thompson, 46, for possession of Spice, the synthetic marijuana. Thompson allowed police to search his pockets after he was spotted trespassing outside a community center.

    When questioned by police, Thompson said that he purchased the "Master Kush" Spice “from a black male for $15” at a downtown park, according to a police report. Thompson reportedly told cops that he did not know Spice was illegal in Florida, claiming that it was “still legal in New Hampshire,” his home state.

    Thompson, who said that he moved to Florida three weeks prior to his September 10 arrest, was charged with felony drug possession and trespassing, a misdemeanor. He is being held in the Pinellas County jail in lieu of $1500 bond.

    As noted in the “Scars, Marks, Tatoos or other distinguishing features” section of the report, Thompson has “Tattoo Head-Patriots Football Helmet.”

    As seen in the above images (click to enlarge), Thompson had a series of tattoos inked on his head to make it appear that he is wearing a New England Patriots football helmet. Along with team logos on each side of his head, Thompson got Brady’s number 12 and the word “Patriots” inked on the back of his head. He added the name of the helmet maker (“Riddell”) on his forehead, as well as an American flag and an NFL logo.

    Thompson even included the small green dot indicating that a helmet is equipped with an electronic device allowing its wearer to receive plays from the sideline.

    Thompson also had a likeness of the Super Bowl trophy tattooed on the top of his head. Additionally, his noggin features inked replicas of the signatures of players Rob Gronkowski, Wes Welker, and Randy Moss. Somehow, Thompson forgot to add Aaron Hernandez’s John Hancock to his cranium.

    Jailers took four separate booking photos of Thompson so that his tattoos could be memorialized for possible future identification purposes.

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    An Ohio inmate is seeking parole, in part, because he wants to “witness in person LeBron James’ pursuit of an NBA championship for my beloved hometown.”

    In a letter to Parole Board officials, Jason Goudlock, 39, argues that he is seeking the “opportunity to begin the process of redeeming myself,” adding that he has “begun to develop a plan for helping at-risk youths.”

    Goudlock (seen at right) has spent more than 20 years in prison for felony aggravated assault and robbery, crimes committed when the gun-toting Cleveland native was 18. Goudlock, who has appeared before the Parole Board four prior times, is scheduled for a hearing this month.

    Goudlock contends that he was sentenced under old laws that have resulted in punishment that has already exceeded what a “new-law prisoner could be made to serve.” He added, “I’ve served even more time than convicted murderers.” According to Ohio Department of Rehabilitation and Correction records, Goudlock’s mandatory maximum release date is January 2028.

    “I am not a career criminal, and I am ready to be released from prison,” wrote Goudlock in his September 26 letter, which is excerpted here. After requesting that parole officials “retire” his prison number (284-561), Goudlock added, “On the lighter side, I would truly like to witness in person LeBron James’ pursuit of an NBA championship for my beloved hometown.”

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    A Florida man who was cited by cops for driving with an obscured license plate last week wore a “Fuck The Police” t-shirt to a court hearing that ended with his acquittal on the traffic infraction charge.

    Michael Burns, 34, was ticketed in mid-May by Broward County Sheriff’s Office deputies who alleged that the tag on his 2004 Ford was obscured. Burns contends he was singled out as retaliation for his frequent videotaping of police.

    Following a brief trial last Monday, a hearing officer acquitted Burns of the vehicular charge. As seen above, Burns wore a black t-shirt with the words “Fuck The Police” on the back of the garment. Video of the court appaearance was shot by a friend of Burns, who put the clip online.

    Burns (seen at right) was arrested last year on a pot possession charge in Florida's Pasco County. But he also beat that case when prosecutors decided not to pursue the misdemeanor charge.

    f-word, Florida
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    Meet Kristopher Davis.

    The 32-year-old Utah man was in a Mexican restaurant early yesterday morning when he asked an employee if he could borrow a pen “to get a girl’s phone number.”

    But when the Beto’s Restaurant worker declined Davis’s request, a verbal argument ensued inside the Salt Lake City eatery.

    During the 2:45 AM dispute, Davis slapped the victim’s finger away from his face, prompting the employee to try and escort Davis from the restaurant. Davis, however, “pulled a knife and stabbed the victim in the leg then again in the abdomen/rib area,” according to a Salt Lake County Sheriff’s Office report.

    The worker was transported to a local hospital in serious condition.

    Davis fled the restaurant, but was later apprehended by police, who reported that he confessed to the stabbing. He is jailed on a felony aggravated assault charge. Davis’s rap sheet includes prior busts for burglary, domestic violence, assault, criminal mischief, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

    stabbing, Utah
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    A Florida trio is facing narcotics manufacturing charges after one of the suspects pocket-dialed 911 and a police operator stayed on the line for nearly half-an-hour listening to them “talking about making and selling methamphetamine,” according to a police report.

    The operator, cops noted, also detected a “bubbling sound as if something was cooking.”

    Investigators traced the call early Saturday to a shed in the backyard of a home in Deltona, a city 30 miles north of Orlando.

    When Volusia County Sheriff’s Office deputies peered into an open window, they spotted material indicating that the shed housed a methamphetamine lab, including a “bottle that appeared to be smoking.” Additionally, white smoke billowed from the shed.

    Deputies raided the structure and arrested Donna Knope, 55; Jason Knope, 32; and Thomas Stallings, 41, for manufacturing and possessing methamphetamine. A search of the shed, cops noted, yielded “all of the makings of an active meth lab, including coffee filters, a butane torch, batteries, drain opener, plastic tubing, hypodermic needles, lithium strips, lighter fluid, plastic bags and numerous plastic bottles containing a white substance.”

    Investigators do not know which of the suspects inadvertently tipped them to the existence of the meth operation. The Knopes--Donna is Jason’s mother--live in the home behind which the meth lab was operating.

    Stallings, who lives at another Deltona residence, is currently on probation in connection with a burglary conviction. During the 911 call, the police dispactcher reported, a man who identified himself as “Tommy” stated that he was on probation and complained that a police official “had been watching him.”

    Donna Knope is pictured above, flanked by her son and Stallings (right).

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    A man wielding a large sword menaced a group of Cub Scouts who knocked on his door as they sought to sell popcorn in a fundraising drive, Wisconsin police report.

    After the children knocked on the door of his Sparta residence, Owen Reese, 22, “opened the door holding a sword above his head and immediately began yelling” at them, according to cops.

    While holding the sword over his head and “motioning like he was going to swing it at them,” Reese got within five feet of the Cub Scouts before they “escaped unharmed.”

    When cops arrived at Reese’s residence, he again answered the door “holding a sword with both hands at shoulder height.” He dropped the weapon (seen here) when officers leveled their guns at him.

    A subsequent search of Reese’s home turned up “a large number of knives and swords, as well as marijuana and several smoking devices.”

    Seen above, Reese was arrested for reckless endangerment and cited for “drug related offenses.”

    During questioning by Sparta Police Department cops, Reese explained that his sword wielding was commonplace: “Reese told officers he always answers the door with a sword to protect himself against religious people.”

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    Another couple has been arrested for having sex in public at The Villages, the sprawling Florida retirement community.

    Responding to a witness report of “two naked people making out,” a cop yesterday discovered Charm Gilbert, 40, and James Adams, 47, “having sexual intercourse within direct view of the public” at 8:42 AM, according to Sumter County Sheriff’s Office arrest reports.

    Gilbert and Adams were trysting near one of the entrances to The Villages, a 55,000-resident community that bills itself as “Florida’s Friendliest Retirement Hometown.” It is unclear whether the couple resides at The Villages, works there, or was visiting the 55-and-over community.

    A deputy noted that when he approached the couple, Gilbert was “lying on an electrical box with her legs spread open.” Gilbert’s breasts were exposed and she “also had her shorts and underwear fully off exposing her vagina.” Adams, a deputy observed, was “fully naked exposing his penis.”

    Deputy Christopher McPeters reported that after ordering the duo to get dressed, Adams explained that he and Gilbert were having sex near an intersection “due to them not having any other place to go.” According to the arrest reports, Adams lives less than a mile from the spot where he was arrested (Gilbert’s residence is two miles away).

    Seen in the above mug shots, Adams and Gilbert were each charged with indecent exposure and disturbing the peace, both misdemeanors. They are being held in the county jail in lieu of $1500 bond.

    In June, a 69-year-old female resident of The Villages and her 49-year-old paramour were collared for having sex in a town square at the retirement community. Margaret Ann Klemm and David Bobilya subsequently pleaded guilty to indecent exposure and disorderly conduct and were each sentenced to six months in jail.

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    After leading police on a two-mile chase, an Oregon man who stole a delivery van packed with doughnuts pulled the vehicle over and placed his hands out the window as a pastry fell from his grip, according to cops.

    The 2004 Chevrolet Astro van was stolen around 2 AM today when its driver stopped to make a delivery in Portland. The vehicle is owned by Donut Land, a business headquarted in Tualatin, a Portland suburb.

    Investigators allege that Peter Leon Johansen, 34, got into the unlocked vehicle and drove off. But soon after the van was boosted, a cop spotted the vehicle and gave chase.

    Johansen eventually pulled over and complied with an officer’s demands to put his hands out the van’s window. “The suspect put his hands out the window and the officer observed a pastry fall from the suspect’s hand,” according to a Portland Police Bureau report.

    Pictured above, Johansen was arrested and charged with stealing the van and fleeing from police. He was booked into the Multnomah County jail, where he is locked up in lieu of $15,000 bail.

    While the Donut Land vehicle was not damaged during the chase, “there were donuts all over the inside of the van,” investigators noted. It is unlear whether cops had to impound any of the pastries for evidentiary purposes.

    donuts, Oregon, theft
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    A New York woman is facing child endangerment charges after she allegedly hosted a “beer pong” party in her home for underage revelers, police report.

    Responding to a telephone tip about a 9:30 PM rager underway at a Putnam Valley home, sheriff’s deputies arrived at a Sunrise Drive residence to discover “under-aged persons on the premises who were reportedly drinking from a large assortment of alcoholic beverages.”

    Four of the nine minors imbibing were under 17, cops allege.

    During police questioning, Laurie Kennedy, 50, reportedly admitted hosting the September 19 party and “knowingly approved of the minors’ consumption of alcohol.” Additionally, Kennedy “allegedly even encouraged the teens’ behavior by furnishing tables, cups, and ping pong balls for their use in a drinking game commonly known as ‘beer pong,’” deputies reported.

    Kennedy was hit with 14 misdemeanor counts related to the beer pong party. Free on her own recognizance, she faces a maximum of a year in jail and a $1000 fine on each of the criminal charges. Kennedy is pictured above in a Facebook photo captioned, “Using my new wine glass, it holds 3/4 of a bottle!!!”

    Police did not disclose which of Kennedy’s five children were present at the party, which came a week after her home was sold at public auction due to a foreclosure action. The Putnam County home is about 45 miles north of Manhattan.