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    This is not what comes to mind when you hear that an inmate was repeatedly shanked.

    A Missouri corrections officer named Haven Shank has been arrested for allegedly having sex on multiple occasions with a male offender, a relationship that apparently has left the defendant pregnant, court records show.

    Shank, 26, was charged this month with a felony for engaging in sexual contact with a prisoner (who was locked up in the state facility where Shank worked). During an interview with a Department of Corrections investigator, the inmate, Jeron Ward, said that he had sex with Shank “on approximately five separate occasions.”

    Ward also said that he placed calls to Shank. In one conversation, according to a probable cause statement, Shank asked Ward “if he picked a name for Haven Shank’s unborn child.” The pair’s sexual encounters allegedly spanned several months and ended earlier this year.

    A female witness told investigators that Shank told her “she became impregnated by an offender.” Shank’s former husband gave an investigator a screenshot from Shank’s Twitter account “which indicated Offender Ward is the father to her unborn child.”

    Pictured above, Shank spent several days in custody prior to her release on her own recognizance following her July 21 arraignment. A Circuit Court judge has ordered Shank to have no contact with Ward, and has scheduled a preliminary hearing for August 6.

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    Upon returning home from a doctor’s appointment Monday afternoon, a Florida retiree discovered a naked woman skinny-dipping in his pool, according to cops who arrested the intruder on trespass and resisting charges.

    James Clark, 69, told police that after spotting clothing that was not his “in the lanai by the pool,” he “looked around to find a naked white female in the pool.” Clark then dialed 911.

    When cops arrived at Clark’s Port Charlotte home, the woman, later identified as Heather Kennedy, 42, was still in the pool. She did not want to identify herself “or explain why she was there,” according to an arrest report. Kennedy, deputies noted, was hostile and “requested for law enforcement to leave her alone.”

    Kennedy is pictured above lounging in Clark’s pool as cops tried to coax her out of the water. Kennedy eventually exited the pool, but struggled with officers as they sought to handcuff her.

    Charged with trespassing and resisting without violence, Kennedy was booked into the Charlotte County jail on the misdemeanor counts. She is scheduled to be arraigned on August 4.

    Court records list Kennedy’s residence as a private home about two miles from where she was arrested.

    Kennedy was convicted earlier this year on a felony narcotics possession charge and a misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia count. She was arrested following a traffic stop that yielded morphine pills, marijuana, and crack and meth pipes. Kennedy denied ownership of the pills, claiming they were the property of “a male by the name of Crackhead Chris,” according to a police report.

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    Even by Florida's loose standards, a guy swinging a stolen alligator around by its tail at 3:20 AM in an attempt at “teaching it a lesson” is truly bizarre.

    According to police, William Hodge, a 32-year-old fisherman, was arrested early today after officers spotted him trying to fling the purloined alligator atop a building in Daytona Beach Shores.

    When Hodge’s attempt to launch the alligator failed, Hodge slammed the reptile to the ground and stomped on it, according to a charging affidavit.

    When cops approached Hodge, seen at right, he “raised his hands up as if he were giving up and was taken into custody.” Asked what he was doing when throwing the alligator in the air, Hodge reportedly replied that he was "teaching it a lesson."

    Investigators say Hodge removed the alligator from an enclosure (seen below) at Congo River Golf & Exploration, a miniature golf course that offers patrons the opportunity to feed and hold alligators.

    The court affidavit does not specify the size and weight of the alligator Hodge is alleged to have swiped. The alligator was subsequently turned over to Congo River’s general manager, who valued the stolen goods at $300.

    Hodge was charged with animal cruelty, possession and injury of an alligator, unarmed burglary, theft, and criminal mischief. He is being held in the Volusia County jail in lieu of $4500 bond.

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    A teenage girl was repeatedly groped by a 76-year-old man seated behind her on a plane traveling Friday night to Montana, according to FBI agents who arrested the septuagenarian on multiple felony charges.

    Investigators allege that Vincent Kopacek sexually abused the 15-year-old victim on a July 8 Allegiant Air flight to Bozeman from Austin, Texas. Kopacek was released today from federal custody and ordered into home detention by a federal magistrate.

    Pictured above, Kopacek has been charged with assault, abusive sexual contact, and attempted sexual abuse of a minor (who is identified by the initials “AG” in court filings).

    As detailed in an FBI affidavit, Kopacek was seated directly behind the victim, who was in a window seat. The girl, who was traveling with her family on vacation, was seated next to her sister, while their mother was in an aisle seat. The girl’s father and brother were in a separate row.

    According to Agent Matthew Deurmeier, prior to departing Austin, Kopacek “reached his hand around [the girl’s] seat, between her seat and the interior wall of the aircraft. AG did not know the male. AG described his hands as dry and rough.”

    As the flight progressed, Kopacek “moved his fingers along AG’s seat then onto her body,” the affidavit states. Kopacek allegedly grabbed and squeezed the girl’s arm, “brushed his fingers along her torso,” and grabbed the child’s waist. “At some point,” Deurmaier added, Kopacek “touched her chest and groped her breast over her clothes.” The girl told investigators that Kopacek also tried to touch the front of her pants near her waistline.

    During the flight, “AG” took over “twenty short videos and several photographs with her cell phone to document” the groping by Kopacek, who did not have another passenger seated next to him. 

    The girl told police that she was “uncomfortable with the male touching her and during the flight she tried to distract herself so she would not cry.” The teen added that that she was scared the man would “get his hand into her pants” and that she “felt guilty for not speaking up” during the flight.

    Upon arriving at the family’s hotel, “AG” told her parents about what occurred on the plane, prompting them to contact law enforcement.

    Videos and photos from the girl’s phone “showed what appeared to be a larger, white hand in between AG’s seat and the interior wall of the aircraft,” Deurmeier wrote. “In an least one video, the hand is groping AG over her shirt while AG looks at her phone,” the agent added.

    Kopacek, who lives in Fredericksburg, a central Texas city, was arrested Sunday when he checked in at the Bozeman airport for his flight home. If convicted of the most serious felony count, Kopacek faces a maximum of 15 years in prison and a $250,000 fine.


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    When attempting to steal from Walmart at 7:50 AM, it is best to dress in an inconspicuous manner so as not to draw the attention of store security.

    Or you can wear a revealing, skintight “Baby Girl” catsuit like Taejah Clay.

    The 20-year-old Louisiana woman was arrested late last month after she and a teenage accomplice allegedly switched the price tags on hats and shorts in a Walmart in Pensacola, Florida. The duo was detained after checking out with the illegally discounted merchandise (which was valued at about $50).

    Store surveillance footage recorded the suspects “switching the price tags and checking out,” according to a Pensacola Police Department arrest report.

    Pictured above, Clay is scheduled to be arraigned for misdemeanor larceny on July 15.

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    Meet Bridgette Frank.

    The 31-year-old Californian was arrested Saturday on a felony bad check charge and for failing to appear in court in a separate misdemeanor case. Frank, who lives in Covelo, a small Mendocino County town that includes the Round Valley Indian Reservation, was released from custody after posting $8500 bond.

    Now as for her t-shirt.

    Frank--whose rap sheet includes convictions for drunk driving, assault with a deadly weapon, child cruelty, and narcotics possession--appears to be wearing a t-shirt that aspires to be a bootleg Louis Vuitton product.

    However, the name of the French fashion house has been rendered as “Loius Veitone.” A Google search for “Loius Veitone” returns no results, indicating that Frank’s shirt is likely the butchered product of an overseas counterfeiting operation, not some ironic take sold by a fashionista.

    Public records do not indicate whether, at the time of Frank’s arrest, she was wearing a Rolez watch or carrying a Channel handbag.


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    A Tennessee couple is facing attempted murder charges after they allegedly opened fire at Burger King employees following a dispute “over a spicy chicken sandwich,” according to a criminal complaint.

    Police report that Tavarus McKinney, 22, and Keonna Halliburton, 20, got into an argument earlier this month with Burger King workers at a restaurant in Memphis. The duo, cops say, complained that Halliburton’s chicken sandwich was too spicy.

    After the “initial altercation,” McKinney and Halliburton departed for a few minutes, but returned in their Ford Escape and allegedly “fired multiple shots from the road into the parking lot.”

    Two female victims were hit by gunfire, while two other women  “were also shot at during this time.” Pictured above, McKinney and Halliburton were charged after several victims identified them as the assailants in the June 6 shooting.  

    McKinney and Halliburton are both locked up in the Shelby County jail on four counts of attempted murder and four counts of using a firearm in the commission of a felony. Halliburton is being held in lieu of $500,000 bond, while McKinney has a $1 million bond due to his lengthy rap sheet, which includes collars for aggravated assault, kidnapping, and domestic assault.

    McKinney and Halliburton are scheduled for a June 28 court hearing.

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    A Donald Trump fan is facing felony charges after allegedly assaulting a quartet of nurses during a late-night fracas in the emergency room of a Florida hospital, police report.

    According to cops, Roseanna Denton, 28, was brought to Pensacola’s West Florida Hospital around 12:30 AM Saturday by her parents for “suspected drug use and erratic behavior.”

    Denton’s kin told nurses that she “may have needles in her purse that could cause a hazard to hospital staff.”

    Seen at right, Denton allegedly scuffled with nursing staffers who sought to restrain her, battering four victims in the process. Denton, cops allege, punched, kicked, scratched, and spit on the nurses (each of whom wanted to press charges against her).

    Denton was arrested yesterday on four felony battery counts and booked into the Escambia County jail. Denton was wearing a “Trump 2016” t-shirt when she posed for her mug shot.

    Denton was released from custody this morning in advance of a scheduled appearance this afternoon in Circuit Court.

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    A Florida Woman named Booze was arrested for drunk driving after allegedly slamming her car into a Taco Bell sign and then fleeing the scene, cops charge.

    Kanisha Booze, 34, was busted late Friday following a crash near her home in St. Petersburg. Booze was charged with DUI involving property damage, leaving the scene of an accident, and driving with a suspended or revoked license.

    Booze, seen at right, was released from the county jail Saturday morning after posting $1750 bond on the three misdemeanor counts. Booze, a mother of three, works at the Taco Bell where the crash occurred.

    According to an arrest report, Booze struck a tree, the Taco Bell sign, and the eatery’s water meter around 10:20 PM. She was subsequently collared after being spotted speeding through two red lights near the restaurant.

    When questioned by police, a wobbly Booze exhibited “bloodshot, watery eyes, a dazed and blank expression on her face and an odor of an alcoholic beverage on her breath,” noted police who say that Booze declined to provide breath samples.

    Booze’s rap sheet includes seven separate convictions for driving without a license. She has also been convicted of marijuana possession and grand theft.

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    Here are today’s entries in the poultry police blotter (Florida edition):

    1) A brotherly “argument over some chicken” turned violent Monday evening when a Florida man allegedly threw a knife at his sibling, according to cops who say the airborne weapon “got stuck in the victim’s right leg.”

    Messiah Harris-Smith, 19, is facing a felony aggravated battery charge in connection with the June 14 incident at his family’s St. Petersburg residence.

    The victim, who told police he did not want his brother prosecuted, will “need to receive stitches,” according to an arrest affidavit which does not further describe the chicken argument.

    Harris-Smith, who has pleaded not guilty, was released last night from the county jail on his own recognizance.

    Harris-Smith was arrested earlier this year for allegedly pushing and threatening to kill his mother during an argument in their home. Prosecutors subsequently decided not to pursue a misdemeanor domestic battery case against the 6’ 1”, 250-pound teenager.


    2) A Florida Woman is facing a domestic battery charge after allegedly pelting her boyfriend in the face and chest with a plate of chicken, records show.

    Investigators charge that Jennifer Booth, 43, struck the 56-year-old victim with the chicken while the couple was eating last Wednesday night on the porch of their Bradenton home.

    Booth’s companion, who cooked dinner, was not injured by the poultry fusillade. He told police that Booth “became violent” during a verbal argument and “picked up the paper plate of chicken and threw it in my face.”

    After the man called 911, Booth was arrested and booked into the Manatee County jail on the misdemeanor rap. She was released Friday on $500 bond.

    Booth, who works at a Lakewood hospital, has three prior arrests, “most recently 2015 Domestic Violence,” according to a court filing that does not include case dispositions. While Booth and the victim share a surname, a pretrial services report lists her marital status as “single,” while an arrest report identifies the victim as her boyfriend.

    Booth is an avid hunter whose Facebook page is stocked with pictures of her posing with animals she has shot dead, images that have prompted online derision. One photo shows Booth holding the head of a giraffe killed during a 2017 hunt in South Africa, which she described in a Facebook caption as “One of the best days of my life.”

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    A 21-year-old Florida Woman who was naked from the waist down inside a Circle K told a cop that “another deputy told her it was fine to do that,” according to an arrest report.

    Responding to a 1:30 AM “naked woman in public" call last Thursday, police found Kendall Mabry sans pants or underwear inside the convenience store in Umatilla, a city about 45 miles from Orlando.

    A Circle K clerk and a sheriff’s deputy both reported seeing Mabry emerge from the store’s bathroom “with no pants or underwear on.” When asked about her state of undress, Mabry reportedly “stated that another deputy told her it was fine to do that.”

    Mabry, police reported, smelled of alcohol and her speech was slurred. Additionally, “the smell of marijuana was coming out of her vehicle.” Mabry’s pants were found inside her car, according to the arrest report.

    Seen above, Mabry, who lives five miles from the Circle K, was arrested for disorderly intoxication and booked into the county jail, from which she was released after posting $500 bond. Mabry, who has pleaded not guilty to the misdemeanor count, was not charged for going pantsless inside the store (pictured below).

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    An Ohio motorist yesterday lost control of his vehicle and slammed into a utility pole after a cicada flew into the car through an open window and struck him in the face, cops report.

    The one-car crash Monday occurred on a Cincinnati road adjacent to the Ohio River. As seen in the above Cincinnati Police Department photo, the Chevrolet sedan’s airbags were deployed.

    The male driver--who was not cited by police in connection with the crash--was not seriously injured.

    The Brood X cicada, however, did not survive the accident. Police found the vile insect’s lifeless body on the Chevy’s floorboard.

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    Meet Tanner Hutcheson.

    The 27-year-old Missouri man was arrested yesterday on a felony narcotics charge following an auto accident in Columbia. Hutcheson was a passenger in a vehicle involved in a “DWI accident,” according to cops.

    A Columbia Police Department spokesperson declined to identify the controlled substance Hutcheson is alleged to have possessed. He is locked up in lieu of $30,000 bond on the drug charge.

    Hutcheson’s rap sheet includes multiple convictions for theft, as well as convictions for burglary, leaving the scene of an accident, and drug possession. In December, Hutcheson was sentenced to five years in prison on a felony controlled substance conviction, but a judge suspended execution of the sentence and instead placed him on five years probation.

    Upon being booked Thursday into the Boone County jail, Hutcheson’s “D.A.R.E./Drugs Are Bad!” t-shirt was confiscated along with his other clothing items.