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    The Republican congressional aide who castigated the Obama daughters for their lack of “class” and dressing as if they were angling for a “spot at a bar” was once arrested for larceny during her own “awful teen years,” court records show.

    In a November 27 Facebook post, Elizabeth Lauten criticized Sasha and Malia Obama for looking bored while their father pardoned a pair of turkeys the day before Thanksgiving. While noting that, “I get you’re both in those awful teen years,” Lauten, 31, counseled the teens to “try showing a little class. At least respect the part you play.”

    In her “Dear Sasha and Malia” note, Lauten remarked that the president and First Lady Michelle Obama “don’t respect their positions very much, or the nation for that matter, so I’m guessing you’re coming up a little short in the ‘good role model’ department.” Lauten concluded by urging the girls to “Rise to the occasion. Act like being in the White House matters to you. Dress like you deserve respect, not a spot at a bar. And certainly don’t make faces during televised public events.”

    Until her resignation this morning, Lauten served as communications director for Rep. Steven Fincher, a Tennessee Republican. In the face of criticism about her attack on the Obama daughters, Lauten said that “many hours of prayer” helped her realize that her Facebook screed was “hurtful.”

    Lauten, pictured above, was arrested in December 2000 for misdemeanor larceny, according to court records. Lauten, then 17, was collared for stealing from a Belk department store in her North Carolina hometown.

    Because Lauten was a first-time offender, her case was handled via the District Court’s deferred prosecution program, which resulted in the charge’s eventual dismissal after the future scold stayed out of trouble for a prescribed period.

    Since Lauten was just another teenager caught shoplifting at the mall, it appears unlikely that she was publicly pilloried for her lack of class, nor were her parents criticized as poor role models.

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    Incensed that her boyfriend began eating their Thanksgiving dinner while she was asleep following a day of drinking, a Pennsylvania woman grabbed a knife and stabbed the man after chasing him around the dining room table, cops report.

    Jack-Lyn Blake, 47, is locked up in the Luzerne County jail on an assortment of criminal charges, including aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, reckless endangerment, and making terroristic threats.

    According to Wilkes-Barre police, officers responded yesterday to Blake’s residence around 6:30 PM after receiving a 911 call about a stabbing. When they arrived at the home, Blake, who was exiting the residence, announced, “I stabbed him.”

    Further investigation revealed that Blake’s beau, Benjamin Smith, had been stabbed in the chest. Smith, who was pressing a towel to his wound when police arrived, was later treated at a local hospital for the non-life-threatening injury.

    Smith, 45, told officers that he had argued earlier in the day with Blake, who was reportedly intoxicated and had gone upstairs to sleep. While Blake (seen in the above mug shot) snoozed, Smith began Thanksgiving dinner without her.

    When Blake awoke to discover that the festivities had commenced in her absence, things got bloody.

    Cops charge that she grabbed a knife and chased Smith around the dinner table. After dodging several stabbing attempts, Smith got knifed by Blake (who also threw the weapon at Smith, striking him in the face).

    Two years ago, Indiana resident Taz Miller, 18, was arrested for stabbing his mother’s live-in boyfriend after discovering that the man had eaten all the leftover Thanksgiving turkey.

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    Michael Brown’s stepfather last night repeatedly urged protesters to “Burn this bitch down” after a prosecutor announced that no criminal charges would be filed against the Ferguson, Missouri police officer who killed the unarmed teenager.

    Louis Head, an ex-con who is married to Brown’s mother, Lesley McSpadden, was with McSpadden outside the Ferguson Police Department headquarters Monday evening as prosecutor Robert McCulloch disclosed that a grand jury declined to vote an indictment against Officer Darren Wilson in the August 9 shooting.

    After consoling a weeping McSpadden, the 38-year-old Head--who was standing atop a platform in the middle of the agitated crowd of several hundred protesters--began screaming “Burn this bitch down!" He did this at least ten times, and at one point yelled for a microphone so that he could broadcast his incendiary message beyond the range of his unamplified voice.

    While trying to incite the crowd, Head (pictured above) was wearing a commemorative t-shirt with the words “I Am Mike Brown” and a beanie, both of which bore a silkscreened photo of Brown in his high school cap and gown.

    In the days preceding the grand jury announcement, McSpadden and Michael Brown, Sr. issued statements calling for peaceful protests in the wake of the panel's decision. Head, however, counseled arson. After a night of chaos and rioting in Ferguson, at least 10 businesses and two police cars were destroyed or damaged by fire, and 61 individuals were arrested.

    Head is an ex-convict whose rap sheet includes two felony narcotics convictions, according to state records. He pleaded guilty in 1997 to a marijuana distribution charge and was put in a shock incarceration program and placed on probation for five years. After violating probation, Head’s release was revoked and he was remanded to state prison.

    In mid-2003, Head was charged with narcotics trafficking, a felony count to which he later pleaded guilty. The St. Louis native was sentenced to seven years in prison. He was released in June 2008 after serving about five years in custody.

    Along with McSpadden, Head is at the center of an ongoing Feguson Police Department investigation of an incident last month during which three vendors selling commemorative Michael Brown merchandise were assaulted. One of the victims, Michael Brown, Sr.'s mother-in-law, identified McSpadden and Head as among the “attackers” who ransacked her stands and stole $400 in cash and merchandise valued at $1500.

    According to USA Today, McSpadden and Head were married earlier this year, several months before Brown's killing.

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    Included in the grand jury material released tonight after the announcement that no charges would be filed in the Michael Brown killing is a handwritten witness account stating that the teenager charged at Officer Darren Wilson “like a football player. Head down.”

    The unidentified witness wrote that the 18-year-old Brown “has his arms out with attitude,” while “The cop just stood there.” The witness added, “Dang if that kid didn’t start running right at the cop like a football player. Head down.”

    The witness told of hearing “3 bangs,” but “the big kid wouldn’t stop.”

    The witness’s account of the unarmed Brown charging Wilson--even after he had been shot in the hand during a struggle at the cop’s patrol car--supports the officer’s contention that he fired a series of shots as Brown bore down on him.

    During his September 16 grand jury testimony, Wilson, 28, recounted how he tussled with Brown when the teenager grabbed for his gun while lunging into the squad car. As they fought over the weapon, Wilson testified, the teenager taunted him, yelling, “You’re too much of a pussy to shoot me.”

    Wilson told the grand jury that he felt Brown’s “fingers try to get inside the trigger guard with my finger.” He added, “I distinctly remember envisioning a bullet going into my leg. I thought that was the next step.”

    Testifying that he thought Brown (seen at left) would “kill me if he gets ahold of this gun,” Wilson said that he discharged the weapon inside the cruiser. The gunshot, he added, “kind of startled him and me at the same time.” The teenager then “looked up at me and had the most intense aggressive face,” Wilson recalled. “The only way I can describe it, it looks like a demon, that’s how angry he looked.” Brown, Wilson testified, then raised his arms and punched him in the face.

    Wilson also gave grand jurors another vivid description of Brown. Recalling when he first placed his hand on the teenager’s arm--when the 6’ 4”, 292-pound Brown was alongside his patrol car--Wilson testified that, “I felt like a five-year-old holding onto Hulk Hogan.” The cop added, “Hulk Hogan, that’s just how big he felt and how small I felt just from grasping his arm.”

    Wilson is pictured above in a police evidence photo taken at a hospital hours after the August 9 shooting.

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    Meet Phuc Kieu.

    The Floridian, 58, was watching gay pornography in his Honda Civic yesterday afternoon when he allegedly pulled a male passerby into the vehicle, and then straddled the man while trying to tear off the victim's clothes.

    The 21-year-old victim eventually escaped from the car and ran away yelling, “Rapist!,” according to a Gainesville Police Department report.

    Phuc Kieu was charged with sexual assault, kidnapping, and robbery without a weapon. The latter charge stemmed from the alleged theft of the victim’s backpack, which contained $220 the man had withdrawn from an ATM immediately before being yanked into Phuc Kieu’s car.

    Police reported that Phuc Kieu “laid the driver’s seat all the way back and proceeded to watch homosexual pornography on a portable DVD player” before pouncing on the victim, punching him in the mouth, and pulling him into the Honda (where Phuc Kieu allegedly “began to pull off his shirt, belt, and pants”).

    Seen in the above booking photo, Phuc Kieu, a Vietnamese immigrant who lives in Orlando, is being held in the Alachua County jail in lieu of $150,000 bond on the three felony counts.

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    A veteran mailman distributed methamphetamine while driving along his Texas route in a U.S. Postal Service vehicle, investigators charge.

    Edward Flores, 39, is facing felony narcotics charges following a 10-month investigation by state investigators and the Drug Enforcement Administration. Flores, seen at right, is free on $10,000 bond.

    According to cops, Flores has worked for the postal service for more than 20 years. His wife is the postmaster in Lorena, a city outside Waco where the couple lives.

    During surveillance operations, investigators watched as Flores, wearing his mailman’s uniform, delivered methamphetamine. The probe of Flores--who worked from a Waco post office--was prompted by tips to law enforcement that narcotics was being sold from his residence, as well as from a U.S. Postal Service vehicle being driven by a uniformed worker.

    During a raid last week at Flores’s home, cops seized methamphetamine worth $17,000.

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    A 350-pound Walmart shopper was arrested yesterday after he was found sitting atop five stolen rib eye steaks in the seat of a motorized scooter that he was riding around the South Carolina store.

    Rodney Fowler, 43, was spotted Tuesday afternoon placing the steaks in his scooter by a Walmart loss prevention officer, according to a police report.

    “Suspect sat on the steaks and exited the store passing all points of sale, without attempting to pay for said merchandise,” cops noted.

    The 5’ 5” Fowler was then confronted by the Walmart worker and escorted back into the store, where he was later arrested by police for shoplifting. “Due to his size, the suspect was cuffed using two pairs of cuffs,” investigators noted.

    Pictured above, Fowler spent about three hours in police custody before being released without bond. The fate of the rib eye steaks Fowler sat upon is not addressed in the police report (though here’s hoping Walmart did not re-shelve the pressed meat).

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    Meet Theresa Tumbleson.

    Police are on the lookout for the 35-year-old New Jerseyan, who allegedly allowed her small dog to urinate on 14 dresses and 11 pairs on pants at a clothing store.

    According to investigators, Tumbleson and her pooch yesterday entered a Lane Bryant store in Toms River around 1 PM. The dog, cops report, proceeded to urinate on the garments, causing more than $2000 in damages.

    After the dog soiled the clothing, store personnel asked Tumbleson to leave the business. But she “became belligerent and refused,” prompting workers to dial 911.

    As officers arrived at Lane Bryant, Tumbleson sped away in her Chevrolet Malibu, eventually running several red lights while being pursued by police. Due to the wet roadway and a fear that the pursuit could imperil others, cops discontinued the chase of Tumbleson, who is pictured above.

    In addition to charges stemming from the Lane Bryant incident, Tumbleson will face counts for eluding police and obstruction when she is apprehended. Bail has already been set at $30,000 for the latter charges.

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    Police last night arrested a South Carolina stripper in connection with a brutal stiletto assault that left a female coworker with puncture wounds in her head.

    Carolynn Wright, 22, was arrested by Myrtle Beach cops and charged with assaulting the 24-year-old victim at the Chez Joey strip joint. Wright, seen in the adjacent mug shot, appeared this morning in General Sessions court, where her bond was set at $5000 on the felony count.

    According to a police report, Wright attacked Ashley Michaels-Hoder, 24, last Thursday in a Chez Joey bathroom. Wright allegedly battered Michaels-Hoder with a “clear plastic high-heeled shoe.”

    The beating left Michaels-Hoder with two puncture wounds in her scalp that required staples. Additionally, she suffered a swollen left eye and swelling to her forehead.

    The police report does not reveal a motive for Wright’s alleged attack.

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    Now that their viral video smash has been exposed as a fraud, the creators of “Drunk Girl In Public” have walled off the clip on YouTube--after it racked up more than 11.5 million views.

    The video, which purported to show a series of Los Angeles men angling to take advantage of a drunk woman, was made “private” today on YouTube, where it was part of the channel run by Stephen Zhang, a 20-year-old who describes himself as a “serial entrepreneur.”

    The decision to shelve the video--and forgo additional revenue generated via pre-roll commercials--comes after TSG revealed that the production, billed as a “social experiment,” was entirely staged.

    Additionally, men seen in the video have complained that the video, which was shot on Hollywood Boulevard, made them appear like would-be rapists. Some of the men--who were fed lines and told that the video was either part of a student film project or a “comedic, hidden camera” shoot--have spoken about pursuing legal action against Zhang (seen at right) and his cohorts.

    When one of the men seen in the video complained about his portrayal, Seth Leach, a Zhang collaborator, sent him a private Facebook message noting that, “The important thing to consider is that this video is going to get you well known and have a future with us and our company." Leach, 22, added, “We are going to be huge and you are apart of it. Just go with it dude, you are in our team now and we will take care of you.”

    Leach has since stripped his Facebook page of its photos and posts, including a November 11 message declaring that he, Zhang, soundman Chris Olmedo, and actress Jennifo Box, 24, were the “dream team.” The “Drunk Girl” video has recently been excised from the Facebook pages of Zhang and Box.

    In the wake of TSG’s November 12 report, commenters on Zhang’s YouTube page excoriated him for staging the video and then presenting the filmed interactions as real. As the negative comments (and links to TSG’s story) grew, the commenting option on the “Drunk Girl” video was disabled.

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    A Tennessee woman seeking the Nicki Minaj look was arrested yesterday afternoon after she was caught stealing a wig named after the rapper, cops report.

    Sarah Metcalf, 21, was collared by police after she and a female friend fled from the Chic Beauty Supply store in Memphis, according to criminal complaint.

    Metcalf, pictured at right, allegedly “started stuffing her wig the Nicki Mangi valued at $35 dollars down the front of her pants.” When store owner Do Kim spotted Metcalf and Blair Crumes, 22, swiping the fake hair, he confronted them at the front door and “asked for his wigs back and they could leave.”

    Instead of handing over the stolen merchandise, the pair allegedly shoved their way past Kim, who was bitten on the hand by Metcalf during the skirmish. Both women were charged with theft and booked into the Shelby County jail on the misdemeanor count.

    The 31-year-old Minaj (real name: Onika Maraj) is known for her ever-changing hairstyles, which have been widely knocked off by assorted wig manufacturers.

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    An amorous couple is facing criminal charges after allegedly causing a disturbance at a Massachusetts strip club where they got handsy while seated in front of the stage.

    Security staffers at Ten’s Show Club in Salisbury told cops that Alysson Siopes, 30, and Daniel Tromp, 28, “began to do ‘inappropriate’ things while sitting in the front row near the stage” early Tuesday morning.

    According to a police report, Tromp’s “hands were all over” Siopes’s body, and he “reached up an undid her bra.” Siopes then “began to undo” Tromp’s pants and “made a motion like she was ‘about to give him a blowjob.’” Security guards then intervened and asked the pair to leave. When they refused, 911 was called.

    When cops arrived, Tromp, who was “highly intoxicated,” again refused to leave the strip joint. So he was arrested for disorderly conduct. Siopes was subsequently arrested on the same charge when she persisted in yelling at officers outside the club.

    During a court hearing Wednesday, Tromp and Siopes (seen above) were each ordered to pay $50 fees. If they avoid additional legal trouble over the next three months, the misdemeanor charge will be dismissed.

    Ten’s Show Club covers 16,000 square feet and has four dancing stages and VIP sky boxes. Additionally, patrons can enjoy “table side tee shirt shows”--from $50 and up--that include a “personal table dance & collectible t-shirt.”

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    After striking a pedestrian with his car, a drunk New Jersey man drove for more than a mile with the critically injured victim lodged in the vehicle’s windshield, investigators allege.  

    Responding to a report Monday of an erratic driver, an Ocean Township Police Department officer spotted an auto “with what appeared to be a person lying on the hood of the vehicle.” A cop initiated a traffic stop around 7 PM and found “a person halfway through the vehicle’s windshield,” according to prosecutors.

    A subsequent investigation determined that driver Marcos Ortega, 33, struck the victim when he crossed onto the shoulder on Route 9. Cops estimated that Ortega drove “approximately 1.5 miles” with Kenneth Moeller, 61, lodged in the car’s windshield.

    Moeller was extricated from the vehicle by emergency service workers and transported to the Jersey Shore University Medical Center, where he is listed in critical condition.

    The “impaired” Ortega was charged with drunk driving and leaving the scene of an accident. He was booked into the county jail in lieu of $150,000 bail.