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    Arkansas cops reported that a woman was “tripping balls” when they arrested her last week as she ran naked through a parking lot.

    A report detailing the bust of Melissa Valencia, 21, may be the first time the phrase “tripping balls” has been memorialized in an official police document, according to us.

    Responding to a 911 call about a naked woman running down the street, Fayetteville cops confronted Valencia as she appeared to be attempting to hide behind a pole. The individual who called cops noted that the suspect was “intoxicated on drugs and ‘tripping balls.’”

    Seen in the above mug shot, Valencia struggled with officers as they sought to corral her. After “thrashing her arms about,” Valencia was handcuffed, placed in two sets of leg restraints, and transported for “treatment for a possible drug overdose.” In a subsequent conversation with a nurse, Valencia “admitted to taking acid at her boyfriend’s house.”

    Valencia was “calm, polite, and cooperative” when transported to jail for booking on misdemeanor public intoxication, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest charges (for which she will be arraigned on August 1).

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    Meet Devan Serpa.

    After being arrested for her role in a Louisiana shooting, the aspiring model added an obscenity charge to her docket sheet after allegedly exposing herself to a male jailer, police report.

    Serpa was collared Thursday afternoon in connection with a shooting last month in Morgan City, where the 29-year-old resides. No injuries were reported as a result of the June 27 incident, though two vehicles were damaged by gunshots.

    Upon Serpa’s incarceration, she “exposed her genital area to a male correctional officer during booking procedures and was additionally charged with Obscenity,” according to the Morgan City Police Department. She previously was charged with aggravated criminal damage to property and illegal use of a weapon.

    Serpa, who remains locked up, is a wannabe model whose assorted headshots can be found on a popular audition/casting web site. She is pictured at left in one of those modeling photos.

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    When Tilman Williams fell after being stricken in his Michigan apartment last year, emergency medical service workers rushed to aid the 61-year-old, whose blood pressure had skyrocketed.

    In a bid to locate any medications Williams was taking, a paramedic entered the man's unlocked bedroom. Inside, the EMS worker saw “numerous pictures of what appeared to be child pornography hanging on the bedroom walls,” according to a federal criminal complaint.

    The illicit images--some of which were framed--were in plain view and showed two nude girls exposing their genitals. One photo depicted a girl having sex with an adult male.

    When Williams realized that paramedics had seen the photos, he asked “how much trouble he was going to be in,” reported a federal agent. Williams also claimed that “he had been meaning to take those pictures down.” Along with seizing the framed and unframed photos, investigators also removed “poster-sized child pornography photographs" from Tilman’s Southgate residence.

    During subsequent questioning, Williams reportedly copped to taking the photos years earlier. The victims, Williams said, were the young daughters of a man with whom he served in the United States Air Force.

    Williams was named Monday in a felony complaint accusing him of receipt and possession of child pornography. Following a detention hearing, a federal magistrate today ruled that Williams was a danger to the community and ordered him held without bond in advance of trial.

    A recently completed forensic review of Williams’s computer revealed that it contained more than 2300 images of “suspected child pornography.” His cluttered home, court records reveal, contained “young girls’ underwear” and a “log with the names of children he apparently had sexually assaulted (along with disturbing details of the individual assaults).” Agents also seized “numerous naked Barbie dolls, some of which were arranged in sexual positions.”

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    An Oregon woman visiting family members in California is locked up on child endangerment and drug charges after she made a cup of methamphetamine-laced tea from which her two-year-old granddaughter drank, cops report.

    Cynthia Watson, 51, was arrested Monday after the girl’s mother called police to report that she had tried to put the “very agitated” child to sleep the prior evening, but that the girl was “talking rapidly, scratching her skin, could not sit still.”

    The woman told Riverside County Sheriff’s Department deputies that she took her daughter to a local hospital, where tests revealed the toddler had methamphetamine in her system.

    A subsequent investigation determined that Watson had “made a cup of tea the night before and placed methamphetamine in the tea to get herself high.” At some point, Watson left the tea unattended on a counter, where the young victim found it and drank from the cup.

    Seen in the above mug shot, Watson was booked into the county jail, where she is being held in lieu of $35,000. The child, who is out of the hospital, is expected to make a full recovery, according to deputies.

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    The drunken young man who stars in that viral video your friends have been directing you to this morning is Gerry Shalam, a 20-year-old New York University student whose father does not own half of Manhattan.

    Shalam, an Allenhurst, New Jersey native, is a member of NYU’s Class of 2017. His father Lou is a garment industry executive, and his mother Frieda is an event coordinator and member of the Allenhurst Borough zoning and planning board.

    Gerry Shalam appears to have deleted his Facebook and Instagram pages, though the web site of a charitable group with which Shalam is affiliated remains online. The organization, Brothers Helping Others, lists its mission as offering “services to a vast variety of under privileged families of all backgrounds.” Shalam appears to have founded the group with a relative.

    Shalam, a member of the varsity College Bowl team during his time at Hillel Yeshiva High School in New Jersey, was videotaped by a passerby after he and some young friends apparently had been overserved at a Manhattan brunch spot (as first reported by Gothamist). Seen in the above screen grab from the video, Shalam was wearing a natty tuxedo jacket and a fashionable St. Barth’s t-shirt while holding forth on East 28th Street about his family’s extensive real estate portfolio and its influence with the NYPD and Mayor Bill DeBlasio.

    At one point in the curse-filled video (seen below), Shalam warns the cameraman that his father was in real estate and “owns half of fucking Manhattan.” When asked his name, Shalam responds “Gerry Adjmi,” adding later that “I’m a fucking lawyer.”

    Shalam apparently used the phony surname because his stricken friend--who collapses to the pavement at one point--is himself an Adjmi, a wealthy New York real estate family.

     [7/2 UPDATE: The young man seen tipping over in the video is, in fact, not a member of the Adjmi family. He is Hiram Haddad, an 18-year-old Brooklynite who attends Babson College in Massachusetts. Haddad’s father is a partner in a large New York real estate investment firm.]

    Before his starring role in “Belligerent Guy On The Street,” Shalam, then 13, appeared as the Scarecrow in the 2007 production of “Hip Hop Wiz,” a reworking of “The Wizard of Oz” that benefited the Jewish Community Center in Deal, New Jersey. The musical, produced by Shalam’s mother, included “unbelievable hip hop dance routines” and a script that “was recreated with a Syrian twist,” according to a press report.

    Click here to watch a YouTube video of young Shalam performing "If I Only Had a Brain."

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    A Michigan man was arrested last night after drunkenly crashing a snowmobile into a tree in Lansing, Michigan, where most other residents were enjoying a balmy Sunday evening in the state capital.

    According to police, the 43-year-old man--whose name was not released pending charges--lost control of the snowmobile while racing through an alley behind homes in a residential community.

    The driver was injured in the crash and subsequently admitted to a local hospital.

    Cops, who obtained a blood sample from the driver, reported that they will ask prosecutors to charge the man with driving with a suspended license and driving while impaired, 3rd offense. Presumably, the man was behind the wheel of a car during his prior two drunk driving collars.

    At the time of the man’s 7 PM arrest, the temperature in Lansing was 84 degrees, according to the Weather Channel.

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    The above excerpt comes from an arrest affidavit prepared last week by a deputy with Florida’s Indian River County Sheriff’s Office.

    If you’re wondering how suspect Jennifer Renee Crosby, 42, ended up in such discomfort, click here. Crosby is pictured below.

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    As an NYPD patrolman escorted Shia LaBeouf from a New York City theater--where he had just disrupted a performance of "Cabaret”--the 28-year-old actor screamed at the officer:

    * “Fuck you.”

    * “This is fucking bullshit.”

    * “Do you know my life?”

    The “Transformers” star then wondered:

    * ”Do you know who the fuck I am?”

    * “Do you know who I am?”

    As LaBeouf was melting down, a cluster of pedestrians outside the West 54th Street theater gawked as the star berated Officer Joseph Pecora. A theater security guard told cops that LaBeouf stood up during the middle of last night's performance of the musical and yelled loudly at the actors onstage.

    According to a criminal complaint, when the troubled actor arrived at the Midtown North Precinct he spit in Pecora’s direction. The cop noted that he “observed the spit land at my feet.”

    Charged with criminal trespass, harassment, and disorderly conduct, LaBeouf pleaded not guilty to the misdemeanor counts this morning during a Criminal Court appearance. He was subsequently released on his own recognizance.

    In November 2007, LaBeouf--who appeared intoxicated--was arrested by Chicago cops for trespassing when he refused to leave a Walgreens at 2:30 AM (the collar produced this glassy-eyed mug shot). The misdemeanor charge was later dropped. In 2008, he was busted for drunk driving in Los Angeles.

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    Tia Harris, the New Jerseyan charged with brutally beating another woman while the victim’s two-year-old son watched, can be seen posing happily with her own two children on Facebook.

    Harris, who is also known as Alima Zawjatul Abdul Sabur, is still being sought by cops in connection with Tuesday’s attack on Catherine Ferreira behind the McDonald’s restaurant where the 25-year-old Harris works.

    Video of the assault of Ferreira, 27, was posted to Facebook by one of the many onlookers who filmed the attack (but did not try to intervene). Harris is facing felony aggravated assault and making terroristic threats charges, the bail for which has been set at $35,000.

    According to police, Harris, seen above in a family photo from her Facebook page, punched, kicked, and spat on Ferreira during the June 24 assault, which left the victim covered in blood and suffering from blurred vision.

    Ferreira, a former McDonald’s worker, told cops that Harris accused her of spreading rumors about her and a McDonald’s manager. In the days before the assault, Harris called Ferreira to complain that gossip about her purported romantic relationship could result in her firing from the fast food restaurant.

    Now on the run, Harris did not respond to a message sent to her by a TSG reporter via Facebook.

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    A 19-year-old college lacrosse star was arrested Sunday evening for allegedly molesting a 49-year-old woman who fell asleep on the lawn of a Virginia concert venue where the Zac Brown Band was performing.

    Benjamin Chisolm is locked up without bond on a felony aggravated sexual battery count, jail records show. Chisolm is pictured in the adjacent mug shot.

    According to the Prince William County Police Department, the victim told cops that she “fell asleep on the lawn area” of Jiffy Lube Live, a 25,000-seat ampitheatre in Bristow.  When the woman awoke, “an unknown man was lying beside her and touching her inappropriately.”

    A two-time high school all-American who just finished his freshman year, Chisolm was subsequently detained for public intoxication. Following a police investigation, the communications major was arrested on the felony sex charge.

    Chisolm, a Maryland resident, is scheduled for a July 17 court appearance.

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    7/16 UPDATE: Despite today's Huffington Post, Business Insider, and Mediabistro reports, TSG is no longer among the Time Warner assets now being sought by Rupert Murdoch.

    Forget Time Warner’s spinoff of Time Inc. or its reported interest in buying a nine-figure stake in Vice Media. While those are critical business developments, the multinational firm’s single most important recent transaction--as far as we’re concerned--was its agreement to sell The Smoking Gun to us, the trio that runs this news outfit.

    In a deal valued at we’re-not-contractually-allowed-to-say, the web site is now owned by TSG Industries, a New York City-based corporation. Like Twitter, Google, Facebook, and other tech behemoths, the new firm anticipates soon employing a variety of tax avoidance strategies through its Isle of Man subsidiary (Dutch Sandwich, anyone?).

    The TSG sale was struck with our beneficent former overlords at Turner Broadcasting. We planned on announcing the deal sooner, but got sidetracked by Al Sharpton, assorted in-flight disruptions, and that teenager who hid a loaded handgun in her vagina. Also, we had to move into our new space and transfer the site to servers at Acquia.

    While TSG will, sadly, no longer be corporate stable mates with Nancy Grace and TMZ, Time Warner does stand to benefit from the site’s future financial success. So keep sending in those news tips and sharing our stories with your friends. Otherwise, the world’s second-largest media conglomerate’s $60 billion market cap could suffer.

    Along with the site itself, assorted trademarks, web addresses, etc., TSG Industries also took control of another key asset: a cherished FBI rug that was salvaged/stolen from a bureau field office during a renovation 25 years ago. The rug, seen at left, was purchased/fenced via eBay and has graced every Time Warner office we have occupied (since the site was purchased by Court TV in 2000).

    After many years cooping in the Time Warner Center at Columbus Circle, TSG has relocated to an office on the SoHo/NoHo border. Where we once worked above a high-end mall filled with tourists and a Williams-Sonoma store, we now operate from a neighborhood filled with tourists and a Crate and Barrel store. We call that progress.

    As TSG’s new proprietors we’ll be exploring strategic partnerships, content deals, advertising representation, new verticals, some horizontals, and all those other things we read about in the Times business section and Marc Andreessen’s Twitter stream. We’ll continue, of course, to publish our distinctive stories, documents, and mug shots.

    To recap: We’re single and ready to mingle. So drop us a line if you have a question, suggestion, or proposal. And keep those tips coming in.

    -Your pals at TSG

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    A patrolman was summoned to a Seattle high-rise early Sunday morning when a female tenant reported that a drone was hovering outside her window and she was “worried that someone was trying to look in her apartment,” according to a police report.

    The woman, a resident of the 37-story luxury Aspira tower, initially contacted the building’s concierge around 7:45 AM to report the drone. The building employee told a Seattle Police Department officer that they went outside the building’s main entrance and “observed two males who appeared to be operating the drone. Next to them was a tripod with what appeared to be a video camera.”

    After a few minutes, the duo “packed up the drone” and their other equipment and departed the area in a white Mazda. While the concierge was unsure if there was “any recording or surveillance going on,” the worker called 911 to “make sure the Seattle Police were aware of the situation.”

    Cops report that they are attempting to determine whether the operators of the unmanned aerial vehicle were captured on surveillance cameras near the downtown apartment building.

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    A Florida woman is facing a child neglect charge after she allegedly left her two young children in a locked and running car while she spent at least 20 minutes shopping at an adult novelty store, police report.

    Morgan Crocker, 22, was busted late Saturday night after cops responded to 911 calls from a witness who spotted the unattended children in a parking lot outside Todd Couples Superstore in Port Richey, a city outside Tampa.

    During subsequent questioning by Pasco County Sheriff’s Office deputies, Croker said that it was a “stupid mistake” to leave the children--aged one and three--alone in the vehicle while she “helped a friend shop inside the store,” according to a complaint affidavit. The document does not identify Crocker’s friend.

    Investigators noted that Crocker’s children, who were not harmed, were turned over to child welfare officials while she was booked into the county jail early Sunday morning. Crocker, who works as a laborer for a fencing company, was released from custody later that day after posting $1100 bond.

    Along with the felony child neglect count, Crocker was charged with leaving a child unattended in a car, a misdemeanor.