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    Meet Wise Intelligent Supreme God Allah.

    Belying his name, the 18-year-old Ohioan made the imprudent choice Thursday night to be carrying a loaded handgun while a passenger in a car traveling in Akron.

    During a police traffic stop, Allah was found with a Hi-Point .380 caliber handgun in the waistband of his pants. The Canton resident was arrested on felony weapons charges, according to Akron Municipal Court records.

    None of the four other occupants of the 2014 Kia were arrested during the stop, which occurred in front of a Taco Bell. An Akron Police Department report states that Allah and two women in the vehicle "has history of drugs and weapons."

    The accused pistolero--whose rap sheet includes a felony burglary conviction--was booked into the Summit County jail, where he remains locked up on $20,000 bond.

    According to court records, Allah’s residence is adjacent to a multi-county juvenile detention facility.

    Akron, gun, Ohio
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    Just when you think you have seen it all, a guy goes and allegedly tries to fornicate with a red van.

    On Tuesday evening, cops in Dayton, Ohio received a 911 call about a man "pulling his pants down and swinging on stop sign," according to a Dayton Police Department report.

    In a second 911 call, the witness told police that the suspect was attempting to have sex with the front grill of a parked vehicle.

    The 911 caller reported that during the autoerotic encounter the suspect was seen "sticking his genitals in the grill of a red van at this intersection." The man subsequently "laid down and possibly passed out" before rising to begin walking in circles "like he is on some type of drug."

    The victim was parked at the time, cops say.

    Responding officers came upon Michael Henson, 35, who "appeared under the influence of some type of narcotic" and was only wearing gym shorts and shoes. He was then arrested for public indecency and booked into the Montgomery County jail, where he is being held in lieu of $2500 bond.

    In a sidewalk interview, the woman who called 911 told police that she saw Henson pull down his shorts and expose his penis, which he then “placed...in the front grill of the van and began humping it as if he was having sex with the van.” Henson did this “for a while” before passing out in a neighboring yard, she added.

    Cops tracked down the owner of the "violated" van, but he told them he had not witnessed what investigators termed “the sex act.”

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    An Ohio entrepreneur has filed an application to trademark the name of Harambe, the gorilla who was shot to death after a three-year-old boy fell into the animal’s enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo.

    In a June 28 United States Patent and Trademark Office filing, Maxx Blank, 27, seeks to secure the trademark so he can use the late gorilla’s name on a variety of clothing items, including hats, t-shirts, sports bras, underwear, sweat pants, and skirts.

    Reached on his cell phone today, Blank said that, “I don’t want to discuss it publicly” when asked about his plans for the Harambe trademark. Blank’s $275 application, made in the name of the Aryeh Group, LLC, lists the firm’s address as Blank's home in Westerville, a Columbus suburb.

    Blank, a married father of two children, filed the trademark application a month after Harambe was shot to death inside the Gorilla World enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo. 

    Harambe, a 17-year-old lowland gorilla, was killed after a three-year-old boy fell into a moat inside the zoo habitat. Fearing that the animal could harm the child, a zoo worker killed Harambe with a single gunshot. In death, as Vox noted today, the gorilla “has become a superhero, a mega-meme, the internet’s gorilla.”

    According to his LinkedIn profile, Blank (seen at left) is an experienced marketer with a “depth of experience in the planning, custom craftsmanship, and implementation of digital experiences for beloved global brands, mission-driven nonprofits and thought leading institutions.”

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    When her boyfriend refused to have sex with her, a Florida woman repeatedly kicked him in the face, an attack that has landed her in jail for battery, cops say.

    According to an arrest affidavit, Jennifer Furguson, 34, sought a 6:30 AM tryst Wednesday with her beau inside the couple’s Port St. Lucie residence.

    The victim, who has been in a relationship with Furguson for two years, told police that “Jennifer became upset at him when he refused to have sex with her this morning.”

    After being rejected, Furguson began kicking her boyfriend in the face “while he was laying on the bed,” investigators charge. Responding officers noted that the man had “significant swelling to his right cheek bone and redness to his left cheek bone.”

    Pictured above, Furguson was arrested on a misdemeanor battery charge and booked into the county jail, where she remains locked up in lieu of $500 bond.

    Furguson is scheduled to be arraigned on August 25, according to court records.

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    8/14 UPDATE: The “Guccifer 2.0” Twitter account has been restored. But his WordPress account has been stripped of the recently posted documents. A WordPress statement noted that the removal came “upon receipt of a valid complaint regarding the publication of private information.”

    8/13 UPDATE: The hacker’s Twitter account (@GUCCIFER_2) has been suspended in the wake of the latest document dump. However, his WordPress blog--to which “Guccifer 2.0” uploads his stolen goods--remains online.

    After disappearing for a couple of weeks, the hacker “Guccifer 2.0” returned late this afternoon to provide a new headache for Democrats.

    In a post to his WordPress blog, the vandal--who previously provided nearly 20,000 Democratic National Committee e-mails to Wikileaks--uploaded an Excel file that includes the cell phone numbers and private e-mail addresses of nearly every Democratic member of the House of Representatives.

    The Excel file also includes similar contact information for hundreds of congressional staff members (chiefs of staff, press secretaries, legislative directors, schedulers) and campaign personnel.

    In announcing the leak of the document, “Guccifer 2.0” reported that the spreadsheet was stolen during a hack of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. “As you see I wasn’t wasting my time! It was even easier than in the case of the DNC breach,” the hacker wrote.

    Along with the Excel file, “Guccifer 2.0” also uploaded documents that included the account names and passwords for an assortment of subscription services used by the DCCC, from Lexis-Nexis to Glenn Beck’s web site (password: nutbag).

    While “Guccifer 2.0” claims to be Romanian and an “unknown hacker with a laptop,” cybersecurity investigators have concluded that he is part of a Russian intelligence operation that has targeted the DNC, Hillary Clinton campaign staffers, and assorted Republicans, including John McCain, Lindsey Graham, and Michele Bachmann.

    In a message today, the hacker branded the U.S. presidential elections a “farce” that is “being settled behind the scenes as it was with Bernie Sanders.” He added, “I wonder what happened to the true democracy, to the equal opportunities, the things we love the United States for. The big money bags are fighting for power today. They are lying constantly and don’t keep their word. The MSM are producing tons of propaganda  hiding the real stuff behind it. But I do believe that people have right to know what’s going on inside the election process in fact.”

    “Guccifer 2.0” also invited reporters to contact him via Twitter direct message: “Dear journalists, you may send me a DM if you’re interested in exclusive materials from the DCCC, which I have plenty of.”

    The FBI is investigating the DNC and DCCC hacks along with attempts to compromise the Gmail accounts of Clinton campaign staffers through the use of “spear phishing” e-mails (as detailed in a TSG story published this morning).

    While the publication of the DCCC spreadsheet will, no doubt, unleash a torrent of prank calls, vulgar texts, and other mischief, its theft provided “Guccifer 2.0” and his cohorts with myriad additional hacking opportunities.

    Armed with the private, non-governmental e-mail addresses of members of Congress and their aides, the hackers likely used those addresses in malicious “spear phishing” attempts. If successful, the resulting breaches yield not only a compromised account’s e-mails and attachments, but can provide access to storage services like Google Drive. Additionally, hackers would also obtain the names and e-mail addresses of the individuals with whom the victim corresponded, further propelling a cascading wave of cyber intrusion.

    In a series of e-mail exchanges last month, "Guccifer 2.0" described himself as a committed "hacktivist" and bristled at TSG's portrayal of him as a thief. "Stop calling me the vandal," he wrote. "I'm not a criminal I'm a freedom fighter." While "Guccifer 2.0" claimed to be a foe of "all the illuminati and rich clans which try to rule the governments," cyber investigators theorize that he may actually just be serving as the media liaison for the Russian government hacking teams suspected of breaching the Democratic Party's computer systems.

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    Can it get more vile than this?

    A 72-year-old Ohio man was arrested yesterday for allegedly slipping into the residence of a 61-year-old woman and ejaculating into a bottle of orange juice that he then shook up and returned to a refrigerator shelf.

    Willis Gene Burdette has been charged with burglary and contaminating a substance for human consumption, according to court filings that detail his conduct Wednesday afternoon in a home in Massillon, a city outside Canton.

    Seen above, Burdette was released from jail last night after posting $50,000 bond.

    As detailed in felony complaints, Burdette entered the victim’s home at 12:10 PM Wednesday by “using a key located inside of her shed.” Upon gaining access to the residence, Burdette “began to masturbate inside a small tool room near the garage.”

    As a home security camera recorded his actions, Burdette “removed a bottle of orange juice from the refrigerator and cum inside the bottle of orange juice.” He then proceeded to "shake the bottle" before returning it to the refrigerator.

    The court filings do not reveal whether Burdette knows the victim or if the tainted orange juice was consumed. Burdette lives about six miles from the woman’s home.

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    Meet Kadie Naumann and Kyla Cole.

    The South Carolina women are facing indecent exposure charges after a late-night skinny dipping session went sideways, police report.

    Responding to an 11 PM noise complaint Monday, cops found Naumann, 23, and Cole, 32, “completely nude” at the swimming pool of an apartment complex near Myrtle Beach.

    The women, guests of a resident, “did not have bathing suits with them so they decided to swim in the nude,” according to a Horry County Police Department report. The duo and two friends, police noted, appeared “highly intoxicated.”

    As cops sought to do a warrants check on the quartet, Naumann (seen above, at left) and Cole began to walk away, ignoring a police demand to remain in place. Naumann then became belligerent and allegedly delivered a “mule kick” to a male cop’s genitals.

    Both women were then arrested for indecent exposure, a misdemeanor. Naumann was also charged with assaulting a police officer. Naumann and Cole were released from jail Tuesday afternoon upon posting bond ($5000 for Naumann, $2500 for Cole).

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    Meet Emma Wiley.

    The 19-year-old collegian allegedly bit off the ear of a female cop who was trying to get her into a police cruiser following a brawl early Sunday outside a Massachusetts bar.

    According to a Salem Police Department report, officers responding to a 911 call about a fight in progress found Wiley tangling with another woman as a crowd of more than 100 people milled about.

    Wiley, cops noted, had a fist full of the other combatant’s hair and was trying to throw her foe to the ground. Pictured at right, Wiley was also “screaming uncontrollably.”

    After officers separated the pair and began escorting Wiley to a squad car, the teenager--who studies criminal justice at Salem State University--yelled, “I’ll fucking kill you all. Don’t fucking touch me!”

    As police struggled to get Wiley inside a cruiser, she lunged at the face of Officer Jessica Rondinelli, a rookie cop who has been on the job barely a month. Wiley, cops charge, “grabbed a hold of Officer Rondinelli’s right ear in her teeth and refused to let go.”  Rondinelli yelled, "She has my ear!"

    Wiley released her bite when Rondinelli, 27, gouged her in the eye. “She bit my ear off,” Rondinelli then told fellow officers. The cop’s right ear was bleeding and had a “jagged chunk missing from the top of it,” according to the report.

    As Rondinelli was rushed to a local hospital, Wiley threatened to have “every one of us cops killed,” an investigator noted.

    Officers subsequently found a piece of Rondinelli’s ear in the rear compartment of the car used to transport Wiley to the Salem police station. An officer “quickly put the piece in a plastic bag” and brought it to the hospital where Rondinelli was being treated. But Rondinelli was informed by a doctor that, “due to the risk of infection, the nature in which her ear had been disfigured it was unlikely that attaching bitten off piece was possible and her ear was going to be permanently marred.”

    Wiley, a Marblehead resident, was charged with an assortment of crimes, including mayhem, aggravated assault, assault and battery on a police officer, and making threats to kill.

    The teenager yesterday pleaded not guilty to the charges and was ordered held without bail by a District Court judge. In arguing for Wiley’s detention, a prosecutor stated that Rondinelli had been “forever maimed” by the defendant.

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    Since reader e-mails have demanded news on the accused Georgia goatfucker, here goes...

    The victim, a police spokesman told TSG, was “a white in color female goat.”

    The accused is Freddie Wadsworth, a 65-year-old resident of Douglasville, a city about 35 miles northwest of Atlanta. He is the owner of the white goat.

    According to the Paulding County Sheriff’s Office, two witnesses reported spotting Wadsworth in communion with the goat last Friday morning. The witnesses live in a home across the street from Wadsworth's property.

    Upon spotting the illicit coupling, one of the witnesses called 911 to report that a “male was having intercourse with a goat,” said Sergeant Ashley Henson.

    The incident was initially logged as an indecent exposure call since no police code exists for man-goat interactions.

    Wadsworth was allegedly spotted having sex with the animal on his own property in broad daylight. “He has a lot of goats,” Henson said.

    Seen above, Wadsworth was booked into the county jail on a bestiality charge. Now free on $1300 bond, Wadsworth faces between one and five years in prison if convicted of the felony count.

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    A Georgia man is facing criminal charges after raging at his spouse for making a grilled cheese sandwich too cheesy, cops allege.

    According to an Athens-Clarke County Police Department report, James De Paola, 55, began “shouting and cursing” at his wife Michelle during a confrontation last Wednesday afternoon in the couple’s Athens home.

    The unemployed De Paola became incensed at his 51-year-old spouse due to her “using three slices of cheese in a grilled cheese sandwich.” De Paola told cops that he had told the victim she “could make a grilled cheese sandwich with two pieces of cheese instead of three.”

    De Paola’s wife told police that he was shouting in her face and that his spit hit her in the face. She added that her husband “has a history of violent and abusive behavior” that includes a prior arrest and the issuance of a restraining order.

    During the incident, De Paola’s wife directed the couple’s nine-year-old daughter to dial 911. But De Paola subsequently yanked the phone cord from the wall and slammed the device on the ground. The couple’s 12-year-old daughter then used her mother’s cell phone to summon police.

    Pictured above, De Paola was arrested for obstruction of a 911 call and criminal trespass/damage to property, both misdemeanors.

    The 6’ 2”, 180-pound De Paola spent several days in the county jail before his release early yesterday morning on $2000 bond.

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    In a hate crimes complaint, the U.S. Department of Justice has identified a criminal defendant’s tattoo of the Confederate flag as “indicative of white supremacy,” according to court records.

    Federal prosecutors today announced the filing of criminal charges against a pair of Toldeo, Ohio residents in connection with the beating of Adrian Williams, 46, in mid-May. A U.S. District Court complaint alleges that Charles Butler, 33, and Robert Paschalis, 25, assaulted Williams “because he was black.”

    The hate crimes charges were announced today by Vanita Gupta, head of the Justice Department’s civil rights division, and Ohio federal prosecutors.

    In an FBI affidavit supporting the complaint, Agent Ian Moore described Butler as an avowed racist whose Facebook account reveals his “white supremacy.” Agent Moore noted that Butler’s Facebook page includes photos and posts of “Adolph Hitler, burning crosses, Nazi war eagles, Aryan Nationalist Alliance logos, Confederate flags, the Ku Klux Klan, references to President Obama as a monkey, and various white pride symbols.”

    In a section of the complaint titled “Evidence of Racial Animus,” the federal agent also noted that Butler has “numerous tattoos indicative of white supremacy, including the German War Eagle, a portrait of Adolph Hitler, a Swastika and a Confederate flag.”

    Following his arrest by Toledo cops, Butler claimed that the beating victim called him a “cracker” due to “his Confederate flag and the ‘Don’t tread on me’ sticker on his truck,” according to the criminal complaint.

    Williams, identified by the initials “A.W.” in the complaint, suffered an orbital fracture and damage to his right eye during the May 18 attack. In a court filing, Attorney General Loretta Lynch reported that state prosecutors asked their federal counterparts to assume jurisdiction because “it is in the public interest and necessary to secure substantial justice.”

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    Police are investigating a series of Snapchat photos that appear to show a four-year-old Tennessee boy with a marijuana joint in his mouth.

    The photos of the child were posted this week to the Snapchat account of KaPorsha Cross, a Memphis resident and mother of four young children.

    In one photo, Cross’s son can be seen with a joint in his mouth, while another image shows the child holding the joint. In both photos, the boy’s older sister is by his side.

    The Snapchat photos, broadcast last night by WMC, have triggered a police probe. A Memphis Police Department spokesperson told TSG that detectives with the department’s crimes against children unit have opened an investigation.

    Cross (seen at left) did not respond to a Facebook message seeking comment about the images of her son, who turned four this month.

    While Cross’s Facebook page is filled with photos of her smiling brood, cops will likely take note of a July 4 post captioned “My toddlers.” A video uploaded that afternoon shows the boy holding a match and lighting a handful of firecrackers. The child held on to the lit firecrackers so long that they nearly exploded in his hand.

    In a July 3 post, Cross asked her Facebook friends to follow her new Snapchat account (@mzp_andnem).

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    Arizona cops are seeking the public’s help in identifying a thief who fled Walmart on a mobility scooter after pinning a worker to the wall during his escape.

    As seen in the above store surveillance video, the suspect was confronted earlier this month by a female Walmart employee near the Tucson store’s exit as he sought to leave with unpaid items in his scooter’s front basket.

    After some evasive driving, the suspect ran into the Walmart worker, driving her backwards into a large blue bin. As two men came to aid the woman, the suspect drove out of the store on his gray ride.

    According to police, the suspect, who is around 50, is a white male with brown hair and a mustache. The man, who was carrying crutches and wore a red University of Arizona baseball cap, is a suspect in a prior theft at the same Walmart.