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    A Kentucky woman wearing an “I Love Crystal Meth” t-shirt was arrested early Tuesday for possession of crystal meth.

    Deborah Asher, 37, and a male acquaintance were collared in a drug investigation launched by Laurel County Sheriff's Department officers.

    According to cops, Asher (seen in the above mug shot) and Richard Rice, 57, were found in possession of 3.37 grams of the drug, as well as a set of digital scales. Asher and Rice were each hit with felony narcotics possession and trafficking counts.

    Scheduled to appear in court on November 12, Asher remains locked up in the county jail on $25,000 bond.

    In related t-shirt news:

    * Drunk driver arrested in “Got Beer?” t-shirt

    * Man in “All My Friends Are Baked.” t-shirt busted for pot possession

    * Oklahoman in “I’m A Drunk” t-shirt nabbed for public drunkenness

    * Motorist in “Drunk As Shit” t-shirt popped for DUI

    * Father wearing “Greatest Dad” t-shirt jailed for child endangerment

    * Man in “Breaking Bad” t-shirt arrested for manufacturing meth

    * Man in “I Have A Drinking Problem” t-shirt pinched for drunk driving

    * “I Love Midget Porn”

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    The grisly photos uploaded yesterday to 4chan show the body of murder victim Amber Lynn Schraw, a 30-year-old mother of four who was found dead in her Port Orchard, Washington home Tuesday afternoon.

    Several photos of Schraw’s naked body were posted to 4chan about 35 minutes before she was discovered.

    The anonymous poster wrote that, “Turns out its way harder to strangle someone to death than it looks on the movies.” A following post declared, “She fought so Damn hard.”

    The three accompanying images show Schraw (who is also known as Amber Lynn Coplin) lying dead on a bed, with what appear to be strangulation marks on her neck.

    Two distinctive tattooos can be seen on the victim's arms in the 4chan photos. Those same tattoos can be seen on a photo of Schraw posted online in August. Schraw is seen above in a photo from her Facebook page.

    In yesterday’s post, the 4chan user directed readers to “Check the news for port orchard Washington in a few hours,” adding that the victim’s son “will be home from school soon. He’ll find her, then call the cops. I just wanted to share the pics before they find me.”

    Police have issued a be on the lookout notice for Schraw’s 2001 Ford Focus, which apparently was taken by her killer.

    In a Facebook post late yesterday, Schraw’s stepmother wrote, “Please pray for my family. My step daughter died today. Fml.”

    In a Facebook message today, the father of two of Schraw’s children identified the woman’s killer as David Kalac, a 33-year-old Port Orchard man whose rap sheet includes arrests for domestic violence, harassment, marijuana possession, assault, drunk driving, and destruction of property.

    Schraw’s sister also identified Kalac as her sibling’s killer in a Facebook post today. “He murdered my baby sister Amber yesterday and took her car...If you see him please call 911,” she wrote.

    Police this afternoon identified Kalac, seen at left, as a suspect in Schraw’s murder. He was spotted early this morning in Portland, Oregon, but escaped from cops following a high-speed chase. Officers ended their pursuit of Kalac, who was driving Schraw’s car, when the vehicle began “swerving into oncoming traffic,” investigators reported.

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    As she prepares to co-host tonight’s Country Music Association awards, there is little doubt that Carrie Underwood is the biggest star to emerge from “American Idol,” a fact underlined by the star’s hefty concert paydays.

    The singer commands a $500,000 guarantee per concert, a figure that can balloon based on ticket sales, according to contract documents. Underwood banks significantly more than other “Idol” winners like Kelly Clarkson and Phillip Phillips, the 2012 “Idol” winner who is paid $150,000 per gig.

    While the 31-year-old Underwood, who won the fourth season of the TV talent competition, is likely the highest paid female country singer, her backstage demands--as detailed in her 2014 concert rider--would not be mistaken for those of other chart-topping stars (no cream-colored egg chairs, animal print throw pillows, bendy straws, or Flintstones chewables for Underwood).

    Along with “well SANITIZED restrooms,” Underwood, who is a vegan, requires her dressing room to be stocked with an organic vegetable tray with non-dairy dips, three flavored hummus dips, sugar-free Extra chewing gum, and a box of peppermint Altoids.

    Underwood’s rider also stipulates that, owing to a sponsorship deal with smartwater, “Under no circumstances should any other water/fruit water products be placed on stage or in the meet and greet and dressing room areas.”

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    Incensed that fellow shoppers took a spot she was waiting for in a Walmart parking lot, a Nebraska motorist subsequently sped toward the duo in her PT Cruiser, striking one of the victims, cops allege.

    According to a Lincoln Police Department report, Julie and Christopher Weakly pulled into the parking spot Saturday evening, unaware that Kimberly Pankratius was waiting for it. In response, the 36-year-old Pankratius pulled up alongside the duo’s vehicle and called them “douche bags,” cops noted.

    Julie Weakly, 40, told police that she and her husband ignored Pankratius’s comments “and continued walking towards the store.” Christopher Weakly, 39, said that he “inadvertently” took the spot for which Pankratius was waiting.

    As they approached Walmart, both Weaklys heard tires squealing and saw Pankratius (seen at right) speeding towards them. As the car turned in front of them, Julie was struck in the arm by the driver’s side mirror. The impact caused the mirror to break and hang off the vehicle. Though she was in pain, Weakly declined medical treatment.

    Christopher Weakly told police that the PT Cruiser--which sped away from the lot--was “only inches” away from hitting him.

    Armed with the car’s license plate (which Julie recorded), police questioned Pankratius, who confessed to the parking lot rage incident. Saying that she “felt really bad,” Pankratius added, “I did do it. I’m so, so scared.”

    Pankratius said that she was angry at the couple for taking her parking spot and was “attempting to drive fast towards them to scare them.” Claiming that she did not intend to hit anyone, Pankratius said that she became “scared” after realizing that she “hit Julie with her driver’s side mirror.” Police noted that Pankratius was “very cooperative and apologetic” while being questioned.

    Pankratius was charged with two felonies, assault and use of a deadly weapon to commit a felony. She was booked into the Lancaster County jail, where she remains locked up in lieu of $2500 bond.

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    Meet Regina Mays.

    The 52-year-old Floridian was arrested Saturday evening following a traffic stop. According to an Ocala Police Department report, cops found a smoked marijuana joint in Mays’s vehicle and various pills for which she did not have a prescription in her purse.

    Mays was booked into the Marion County jail, where the above mug shot was snapped.

    Mays spent about four hours in custody before posting $2000 bond on the felony drug possession charge. Since she never left the jail's booking area, Mays did not have to tackle the arduous task of removing all her facial bling. 

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    A Florida motorist said she suffered from a “medical condition that makes her age faster” when a suspicious cop questioned her claim that she was 22, according to a police report.

    Upon spotting a Ford Ranger with inoperable tail lights, an Indian River County Sheriff’s Office deputy pulled over the pickup Saturday night and asked the driver for her license, vehicle registration, and proof of insurance. The woman “said she did not have her license because she forgot her purse,” according to a police report.

    The driver then identified herself as “Christina R. Topp with a date of birth of March 16th, 1992.” Deputy Colby Smith noted that, “Immediately I was suspicious because the driver appeared significantly older than that.”

    After providing her social security number, Smith reported, “the driver could tell I was suspicious and went on to tell me that she has a medical condition that makes her age faster.”

    However, after the deputy accessed a database that provided a photo of Topp, the driver “admitted that her name was Jennifer R. Crosby and she gave me her daughter’s name because her driver’s license was suspended.”

    The 43-year-old Crosby, pictured above, was then arrested for driving on a suspended license and providing a false name. The Vero Beach resident was booked into the county jail, where she remains locked up in lieu of $4000.

    Crosby was arrested in June for possession of crack cocaine, which she hid in a body orifice. While fishing out the narcotics for cops, Crosby said “ouch” and remarked, “the foil is hurting the inside of my vagina.”

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    Following an overnight methamphetamine binge, a couple got into a fight over laundry that included dog feces being thrown inside the Indiana home they share with their two small children, one of whom who was hit by the flying animal waste, police charge.

    The revolting incident Tuesday morning resulted in the arrest of Terri Patterson, 23, and Nicholas Schelb, 29, for felony child neglect. Schelb was also charged with two battery counts.

    When cops arrived at the duo’s Evansville residence, Patterson was locked outside and screaming and banging on the home’s rear door. According to a probable cause affidavit, Patterson’s feet were bleeding and she had “large clumps” of feces “in her hair as well as her face and clothing.”

    During subsequent questioning, officers determined that during an argument over laundry, Schelb picked up dog waste from the floor and rubbed it on Patterson. He later threw more feces at her. In addition to striking the woman, the waste hit the couple’s younger child--who was in a baby seat--in the face and body.

    A cop noted that the floor was littered with a broken coffee table, shattered glass, and animal feces. The couple’s older child, a one-year-old boy, had feces on the tops and bottoms of his feet and between his toes.

    Schelb reportedly told an officer that he and Patterson had been “awake all night after smoking meth.” The children were removed by child welfare workers due to the home’s condition “as well as both Schelb and Patterson testing positive for using meth.”   

    Patterson and Schelb are both locked up in the Vanderburgh County jail.

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    In a reversal, Pennsylvania police have filed criminal charges against a college student who, dressed as the yellow Teletubby, broke into his friends’s home, raided the refrigerator, and fled with leftover Chinese food that he dumped into his “man purse.”

    Cops yesterday slapped Terez Owens, 20, with criminal mischief and disorderly conduct counts in connection with Sunday’s 2 AM break-in at a Bethlehem apartment two blocks from the campus of Lehigh University, which Owens attends.

    According to a Bethlehem Police Department report, a male suspect broke into an apartment “while wearing a yellow Tele Tubbie outfit.” He then “took Chinese food from the refrigerator and dumped it into his man purse” before departing.

    Investigators quickly identified the 6’ 2”, 310-pound Owens (seen at right) as the man in the “Laa-Laa,” costume. “Chinese food was found in his purse,” noted cops, who reported that sesame chicken and sweet and sour chicken were purloined. Additionally, “The Tele Tubbie had cut himself and also left blood all over the place.”

    While Owens’s friends--who also attend Lehigh--initially declined to press charges, when they realized that they would be responsible for a $495 repair bill, they had a change of heart, according to police Chief Mark DiLuzio. The collegian, a business major from Jacksonville, Florida, will receive a criminal summons by mail, added DiLuzio.

    Owens, who has played on Lehigh’s football team, was arrested earlier this year for theft and receiving stolen property (though those charges were later withdrawn). He was cited in August for underage purchase of alcohol, according to court records.

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    Meet Catherine Butler.

    The upstate New York woman was arrested twice Saturday morning for drunk driving. Butler’s busts came about three hours apart, according to police.

    Butler, a 26-year-old Rochester resident, was first collared around 2 AM after leaving a Halloween party (hence her zombified state). Butler was pulled over when officers spotted her driving without headlights.

    After being released into the custody of a friend, Butler was arrested for the second time around 5 AM, when her vehicle was spotted swerving on a roadway in Gates, a town outside Rochester.

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    A South Carolina woman told police yesterday that her former boyfriend stole her “Obama phone” during a confrontation yesterday morning, according to an incident report.

    Tasha Mallory, 29, said that she was on her phone when Desmond Ty’Quan Gray, 22, “entered her apartment uninvited” Monday morning and “began to ask her who she was on the phone with.” Mallory and Gray “are not dating but have one child in common,” cops noted.

    According to Mallory, Gray tried to grab her phone, but she held it close to her chest “so Mr. Gray could not get to it.” Gray, Mallory alleged, then pushed her to the floor, bit her shoulder, and scratched her arm. He also allegedly wrested her phone away and then fled the residence in a green vehicle.

    “Ms. Mallory described the cell phone as an ‘Obama phone,’” according to a Spartanburg Police Department report.

    While talking with cops, Mallory pulled out a “second cell phone that she had” and showed text messages from Gray “stating that he did not want the relationship to end.” Police subsequently sought to locate Gray for questioning, but were unsuccessful (they planned to consult with a judge about the incident).

    Gray, seen in the above mug shot, has prior arrests for drug possession, shoplifting, domestic violence, attempted burglary, and peeping, according to court records.

    The federal government’s Lifeline program, which began in 1985, provides phones to financially disadvantaged individuals. While the program’s mobile phone component launched months before Barack Obama’s 2009 inauguration, the 44th president has been linked to it largely due to a video shot during the 2012 presidential race.

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    A woman wearing a Hello Kitty costume was arrested early yesterday for drunk driving, according to Maine police.

    Cops pulled over Carrie Gipson, 37, when they spotted her car driving in the wrong lane on a road in Gorham, a town outside Portland. During the 2 AM traffic stop, police discovered that Gipson was dressed as the popular Japanese character, a white bobtail cat with a trademark red bow in her hair.

    Gipson is pictured in the above mug shot. The head of her Halloween costume was also photographed by police.

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    In recognition of October being National Breast Cancer Awareness month, Nicole Matthews got a ribbon shaved into her head (and had it dyed pink).

    Then the Illinois woman checked into jail to serve a 60-day sentence for driving on a suspended license. Matthews, 38, is being held in the Champaign County jail on the misdemeanor conviction.

    Matthews is scheduled to be released from custody in about three weeks, just in time to celebrate Movember.

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    This week’s most embarrassing shoplifting arrest comes from South Carolina, where police yesterday nabbed an 18-year-old woman for stealing Rock Hard erection cream, handcuffs, and Deep Throat desensitizing spray from a mall store.

    Karla Farmer first swiped the cream and spray from the “love unit” of a Spencer’s store, according to a police report. After exiting the business, she returned a few minutes later to nick the handcuffs, investigators allege.

    Mall security subsequently detained Farmer and handcuffed the teenager when she fought with them and tried to flee.

    When police searched Farmer’s purse, they recovered the Spencer’s merchandise, as well as a bra and two pairs of underwear apparently stolen from a Victoria’s Secret location in the WestGate mall in Spartanburg.

    Seen in the above mug shot, Farmer was charged with shoplifting and booked into the county jail on the misdemeanor count (she was released from custody last night).