Buster

A South Carolina man has been arrested and charged with disorderly conduct for allegedly striking a Burger King employee in the head with a food tray during a dispute over cold onion rings.

Kristopher Wiggins, 32, was collared last week in connection with the January 29 confrontation at the fast food restaurant in the town of Santee (pop. 955). Free on a $5000 personal recognizance bond, Wiggins is set for a March 20 trial on the misdemeanor charge.

According to police, the 302-pound Wiggins became “loud and boisterous and did throw a food tray and food items” at Burger King worker Framon Frasier, whose glasses were broken when he was clobbered with the tray.

Wiggins’s outburst came after his girlfriend balked at accepting onion rings that were in a warmer “because they would be cold.” Frasier, 34, told cops that he assured the woman he would not serve her cold onion rings. After Wiggins remarked that his girlfriend should be given a refund, Frasier repeated his assurance that the onion rings were warm.

A Santee Police Department report notes that the 5' 11" assailant--believing that his girlfriend had been “disrespectful”--struck Frasier “in the head with a food tray and broke his glasses.”

As part of Wiggins’s release terms, a Municipal Court judge has ordered him not to return to Burger King.

With the Vietnam War raging, young Ted Nugent was not so anxious to bear arms in defense of his country.

The 64-year-old musician, now a vocal gun advocate and member of the National Rifle Association’s board of directors, avoided toting around an M14 thanks to a series of military deferments that allowed him to dodge the draft, according to Selective Service System records.

Theodore Anthony Nugent first received a high school 1-S deferment in February 1967, when he was 18. After briefly being reclassified as available for service, Nugent got a 2-S college deferment when he enrolled in Oakland Community College in Michigan.

In August 1969, Nugent took his draft physical and was rejected for service. He was classified as 1-Y, indicating that he was qualified for service only in time of a national emergency. The 1-Y classification was usually issued to candidates saddled with significant medical or mental issues.

In interviews, Nugent has provided varying accounts of how he avoided a seat on a troop transport to Southeast Asia. In a 1977 High Times interview, he claimed to have stopped bathing a month before his draft physical, adding that he showed up for the exam with pants “crusted” with urine and feces. “I was a walking, talking hunk of human poop,” recalled Nugent.

But while Nugent would subsequently disavow his defecation claim, he did cop to snorting a line of crystal meth before the physical because, “I wanted to see the look on the Sergeant’s face.”

Five weeks after the exam, Nugent received his 1-Y deferment on October 7, 1969. Nugent’s 1-Y deferment remained in effect until 1972, when the classification was abolished. He was then reclassified as 4-F, which covered registrants not qualified for military service.

In his High Times interview, Nugent recalled his glee at evading the chance to defend his country (though he mixed up the 1-Y and 4-F deferments). “And in the mail I got this big juicy 4-F,” he said. “They’d call dead people before they’d call my ass.”

Nugent is expected to attend this evening’s State of the Union address as a guest of Steve Stockman, the Texas Republican who recently threatened to file articles of impeachment if President Barack Obama sought to use executive orders to curb gun rights.

Poor, poor Chris Brown.

After Los Angeles prosecutors yesterday raised serious questions about whether he has performed court-ordered community service, the singer whined on Instagram that, “Im wise I can handle the hate but enough is enough, yo!!”

Brown continued, “Im a human being and I honestly think I deserve respect Im sick of being accused ... Im tired yall Just don't understand Ive been going through this shit since I was 19 years old.. you cant sit here and tell me to calm down, when am I gonna get a positive outcome out of anything I do?” He added, “A day in my shoes is a day in hell, believe it or not!”

The 23-year-old performer, of course, has been under siege since he beat the crap out of Rihanna. So every time Brown goes into his “woe is me” act, it is helpful to recall the results of his February 2009 handiwork inside a rented Lamborghini.

Rihanna is seen above in a post-beating photo (click to enlarge) taken at a Los Angeles hospital.

A Florida man commandeered a motorized scooter and went on a drunken spree last night at Walmart, where he knocked items off shelves while drinking from “Daily Daiquiri” packages he took from the store, police report.

Cops summoned to the store arrested Timothy Carr, 48, for disorderly intoxication and retail theft. The latter count was bumped up to a felony since Carr has previously been convicted of two theft offenses.

Carr, pictured in the adjacent mug shot, told Brooksville Police Department officers that he “did not have any money on him to pay for the Daily Daiquiri drink that he consumed.” Cops noted that Carr had a “difficult time standing and talking” during questioning.

An unemployed transient, Carr is being held in the Hernando County lockup in lieu of $6000, according to jail records. He has been ordered to have no contact with Walmart.

When it comes to post-arrest statements, the admissions made by a Texas man busted for having sex with a horse are a good reminder why suspects should take advantage of their right to remain silent.

In a statement given to a sergeant with the Wharton County Sheriff’s Office, Andrew Mendoza, 29, waived his assorted rights and told of a late night encounter with a brown horse.

Mendoza, who had been waiting to hear from his girlfriend, noted that, “I told myself that if she didn’t call me I was going to go next door and mess with the neighbor’s horse.”

Which is what occurred, Mendoza, seen at right, told Sergeant Raymond Jansky.

“I was trying to make the horse have a baby,” Mendoza explained. “I was thinking it would have a horseman baby.” He added, “I ain’t going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse. I then got off the bucket and put my clothes back on and left. I promise that I have not been back over to the horse since that time.”

The horse lover, whose rap sheet included a wide variety of felony and misdemeanor collars, later pleaded guilty to public lewdness and criminal trespass and was sentenced to four months in jail.

Mendoza’s criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail, where he was being held on indecency with a child and trespassing charges. 

An Ohio woman who was seeking an order of protection against her ex-boyfriend was brutally assaulted by the man inside a Domestic Relations courtroom last week, an attack that was recorded by a surveillance camera.

As seen in the above video, the attack by Rashad Greene, 30, occurred after he was briefly left alone in the courtroom with Dominique Morrow, 28, and Greene’s grandmother.

Greene and Morrow were in the Summit County courtroom for a hearing in connection with Morrow’s application this month for a restraining order against Greene, whom she has accused of making threats and abusing her.

After Magistrate Tracy Stoner briefly departed the small courtroom, Greene appears to begin yelling and gesticulating at Morrow, who sits placidly at a conference table. The video, which does not have audio, shows Greene jumping to his feet and chasing Morrow around the table.

When his grandmother tried to step in front of him, Greene shoved her into a wall. Greene then pounced on Morrow, who had stumbled to the floor. As he pummeled Morrow, Greene was confronted by a sheriff’s deputy who subdued him with the aid of a stun gun.

Greene, seen in the adjacent mug shot, was arrested for domestic violence and booked into the county jail, where he is being held in lieu of  $25,000 bond. Records indicate that an Akron Municipal Court judge yesterday signed a temporary protection order barring Greene from having contact with Morrow.