DOCUMENT: Bizarre, Florida

Teen Thieves Snorted Cremated Remains

Crooks mistook ashes of man, dogs for coke or heroin

1/20 UPDATE: Police divers recover purloined ashes that had been dumped in lake.

JANUARY 19--Mistaking the cremated remains of a man and two dogs for powdered drugs, a quintet of teenage burglars snorted the ashes after a break-in last month at a Florida residence, according to police.

That startling disclosure is contained in a Marion County Sheriff’s Office report, a copy of which you’ll find here. The January 18 report memorializes information received from a source--who appears to be one of the arrestees--who told deputies that the ashes “had been taken because the suspects mistook it for either cocaine or heroin.”

Investigators learned from the source, whose name was redacted from the report, that the teen suspects “had snorted the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine.” At some point, however, the alleged burglars determined that the powdered substances were not drugs, but that they had stolen “the remains from the dogs and the victims father.”

This realization apparently came after news reports about the December 15 burglary of Holli Tencza’s home mentioned that intruders took her father’s ashes from a closet, while the remains of her two Great Danes were removed from a shelf in her bedroom. A sheriff’s report on the burglary listed electronics and jewelry taken during the theft, and noted that, “Also taken from her bedroom were her father’s ashes and those of her two dogs.”

The sheriff’s source reported that there was a “possibility” that the purloined ashes were in the attic of Waldo Soroa, 19, one of the suspects charged with the burglary. The source added that the thieves “wanted to return them to the owner but were discouraged” by a man “because of fingerprints.” A sheriff's spokesman said today that detectives are still searching for the ashes.

Along with Soroa (who is pictured in the above mug shot), cops arrested Jose Diaz Marrero, 19; Matrix Andaluz, 18; and two 17-year-olds on an assortment of criminal charges. (2 pages)

Comments (14)

I don’t know how much of a ‘mistake’ it was. There is a belief that you can get a mild high off of snorting or smoking cremated remains.
You actually believed your meth buddy when he told you that a tweeker that he knew snorted a dead tweeker's ashes and got high from it, Matt? Those trucker bombs that you've been doing, Matt? You're only feeling the placebo effect, you're not really getting high. Stop drinking trucker p*ss, Matt.
This story sounds like a sick joke from the archives of Hunter Thompson, Cheech and Chong or the video will of Keith Richards. The only problem is that it's true. What is it about Florida that just brings out the worst in people? You have the dumbest criminals, most depraved sickos, most dangerous swindlers, mafiosi and drug kingpins. If it wasn't for Florida, the Smoking Gun might go out of business. What idiots snort cremains (or think that people store expensive illegal drugs in an urn on the mantlepiece)? Just how stupid do you have to be? These momoes got caught because one of them wanted to return the ashes to the owner once someone pointed out to them that their Tony Montana moment shouldn't contain bone shards. That's the only decent part of this story-once the morons realized they had snorted the dead, they at least wanted to respect them and return the cremains to loved ones.
Thanks, spladow. I've thought for the longest time that there is something wrong with the state of Florida. I also thought that I was a bit of a twunt for thinking that way so it's nice to see that I'm not alone or unique in this. Maybe the Scientologists have breainwashed the Hogans into hiring clueless teenagers to steal Girl Guide money from little girls to fund their word wide crime syndicate but they keep getting busted because their only method of communication is via facebook? Or maybe Florida is just disproportionately populated by dumb a**es?
One of the burglars also confessed to the following: After snorting the contents of the urn, the five amigos drank up all the yellow liquid (thinking it to be Dos Eqis) they found in a large white bowl on the floor of a small room in the house that also had a sink and a shower. Never having drunk beer before, they didn’t know that beer isn’t supposed to taste that bad. Holli Tencza, the owner of the residence, said that she’s glad now that she didn’t flush before leaving the house.
lol. Good one, Smokey.
<*Snorts fat line*> Whooo! That was Great, Dane! ...
That is sick! LOL
Apparently they never had cocaine before? If you were a regular user, you might know it wasn't coke/heroin.
It just makes me wonder, did this caused any health problems? Desperate criminals are the most dumbest criminals indeed.
No doubt that he was probably already high before he broke in. Now, that was totally disgusting and hilarious. WOW, talk about dumb criminals! LOL
Yeah i'd bet they thought "I see dead people" after they snorted the ashes of the dogs.................
EWWWWW! Just plain gross!!!
EXACTLY....EWWWWW, IT IS SOOO DISGUSTING.