DOCUMENT: College, Drunk

Drunken Student In Christmas Treejack Bust

Ohio man, 21, collared for taking an ax to 30-foot pine

Christmas tree

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Christmas Tree Chopping

DECEMBER 22--A drunken Ohio college student is facing a disorderly conduct rap for attempting to chop down a 30-foot pine tree that he intended to use as a Christmas tree.

Grant Ison, a 21-year-old Miami University student, was collared last Sunday at 2:15 AM after his harebrained attempt to bring down the tree, which was in an alley off an Oxford street. When confronted by a cop--who asked Ison whether he was aware that the tree was 30 feet tall--the student replied, “I was going to just cut it down then cut off the top.”

Ison lives around the corner from where he attempted his urban lumberjack act.

When an Oxford Police Department officer wondered why he would try such a thing, Ison “replied that he was pretty hammered right now.” Not surprisingly, the patrolman “detected an odor of alcoholic beverage emitting from his breath,” according to a police report.

Ison explained that he had been using an ax, but a friend ran off with it when police arrived on the scene of the attempted treejacking. Cops noted that a second tree, height unspecified, had also been damaged during Ison’s early morning tree hunt. (2 pages)

Comments (7)

admitting to being 'Pretty hammered' should be a legitimate excuse, right?
I'm gonna cut me a tree down, pick my nose, take a dump, have pleasure with my sister and go to bed.
lamebrain--Miami U. has other problems to worry about besides endangered pine trees... a quick Google search for Miami University reveals all the drunken sorority and fraternity shenanigans that happen weekly, from "minor" instances like trashing houses to major ones like desecrating artifacts at the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center.
Figures he only wanted a little bit so he was going to damage the whole thing. HE IS ENTITLED TO IT!
Reminds me of The Griswold's trip to get a tree in "Christmas Vacation". Tree was a little large for the living room. (Lotta sap, little full....)
lotta sap...
momma always said, "drinks in, wits out"..... as true this christmas as every xmas in the past.... thanks momma! 30 feet, that's like 3 stories high.... wonder if the kid had the ax in his hands when the cop rolled up.....that might get you shot in the "big city"...for real... drunk, foolish, and sorta stupid young Miami U. isn't so happy about this connection....