"Butt Bandit" Reaches End

Cops: Nebraska man left private parts prints on business windows

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"Butt Bandit" Reaches End

NOVEMBER 25--Nebraska's notorious 'butt bandit' was charged today with a public indecency spree in which he allegedly lathered his private parts in baby lotion and then left 'butt and penis prints on local business windows' in the city of Valentine.

Thomas Larvie, named today in a nine-count misdemeanor criminal complaint, was arrested last Wednesday after Officer Dana Miller spotted him 'trying to hide in the shadows' near a parking lot.

A detailed (and gross) probable cause affidavit, a copy of which you'll find here, notes that Larvie, 35, was wearing a handkerchief over his face and had a 16.5 ounce bottle of 'Baby Magic Baby Lotion' in his pants pocket when approached by Miller at around 3:30 AM. Oh, and Larvie's 'erect penis was partially protruding' from his unzipped pants.

A subsequent police investigation determined that eight Valentine businesses--including the post office, a livestock firm, and a pharmacy--had been left with butt and/or penis prints on their doors and windows. Some of the firms also had pages from a pornographic magazine stuck on the exterior of their premises.

Jay Hollenbeck's Farm Bureau was hit particularly hard, with 'penis prints on a west window, a butt and penis print on a south window, a penis print on a west window, and a penis print on the door.' According to the Cherry County Attorney, police had spent several months probing prior lotion incidents before Larvie's November 19 bust.

Following his arrest, Larvie told police, 'I'm mental, I think I will kill myself.' After being booked into the county jail, Larvie was transported for 'emergency protective custody' to Great Plains Regional Medical Center. (2 pages)

Comments (1)

Butt-prints and penis-prints???? In the course of my career I have taken many fingerprints, palm prints and other identifying information and entered same into the various data banks, but I'll be ##@$% the day I'll have to identify a suspect by identifying butt-prints...that would call for an entire new identification data-bank system with protocols, procedures, methods and guidelines......just how are you suppose to ink up somebody's butt and what would the print card look like??? right cheek, left cheek, both together???