DOCUMENT: Crime

Martha Stewart Always Gets Her Man

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Martha Stewart Always Gets Her Man

Hey, this Martha Stewart is one tough cookie! A while back, she got into a profanity-laced beef with a New York landscaper (click here for the classic police report). In mid-August, she busted a hapless limo driver who tooled onto her Maine estate (he said he was lost). We love that Martha--after calling the cops--ran out of her manse and blocked the guy's ride with her own set of wheels, as this police report reveals. But the best part is how an "upset" Stewart dispatched a functionary to announce she wanted to press charges. TSG tried to speak with Martha about this heroic crime busting, but we got her answering machine (no, you can't have the digits). The outgoing message doesn't use her name, just notes that you've reached "Skylands," Stewart's pretentious name for her luxe Mount Desert Island retreat. (2 pages)

White t-shirts.