DOCUMENT: Revolting, Crime

Maryland Man Facing Illegal Dumping Charge

Perp gave cops bizarre explanation for defecation

Man On Toilet

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Maryland Lawn Pooper

APRIL 20--A man suspected of a years-long public defecation spree in his Maryland neighborhood is facing a criminal rap after he was caught on videotape relieving himself in the driveway of a former police officer.

When confronted by cops, Kelly Ervin, 48, offered a bizarre explanation, according to police. Ervin reported that he goes running almost every day around 4 AM, and when he hits the two-mile mark, “he has to have a bowel movement.”

As such, Ervin said he carries toilet paper with him and “defecates wherever his 2 mile mark is,” according to a court filing.

Ervin, who was questioned by police at his residence on March 23, said that he was “embarrassed about the fact that detectives were there for this reason,” adding that he “had been doing this for over 20 years.”

Before departing, cops “told Kelly to stop defecating in people’s yards.” They also told him that, at the time, “there was not a criminal investigation.”

However, that changed several days later when police received a complaint from a Salisbury resident who reported that someone had defecated on his property on “at least seven occasions” since January. The witness, Robert Bryan Robinson, an ex-cop, noted that he “found toilet paper left with the feces.”

Robinson told detectives that he had installed a video surveillance system due to his concerns that an individual had been trespassing on his property. Footage, cops allege, showed Ervin exiting his Jeep, unfastening his pants, and squatting in Robinson’s driveway.

When speaking with cops, Ervin recalled having been caught on camera. He claimed that he was on his way home when he “got a pain in his stomach at which time he pulled into a driveway to defecate.” He added that he “saw a camera and realized he was probably going to be seen on camera.”

Ervin was charged with littering or dumping under 100 pounds, a misdemeanor. Ervin, who works in medical sales, has also coached a girl’s team at the Salisbury Lacrosse Club. The squad is known as the “Scoopers.” (4 pages)