DOCUMENT: Stupid

Cops: Teenager Rubbed His Junk On Patron's Pizza

Texan, 18, in felony rap for testicle topping tampering

Papa Murphy's pizza

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Teen's Balls On Pizza

SEPTEMBER 16---Angered that a customer called in a pizza order right before closing time, a Texas teenager allegedly rubbed his genitals on the patron’s pie as he prepared the takeout order, police allege.

Brent Bradley told cops that when he arrived at Papa Murphy’s pizza in Georgetown, a city 25 miles north of Austin, he spotted worker Austin Michael Symonds “rubbing his testicles on the pizza he had ordered,” according to a criminal complaint detailing the September 2 incident.

When confronted by the customer--who was there to pick up a large stuffed pie with Canadian bacon, pineapple, and extra cheese--the 18-year-old Symonds immediately apologized. “Man, I am really sorry, that was stupid,” Symonds said, according to the complaint.

Bradley then asked Symonds how old he was. After the teenager answered that he was 18, Bradley said, “So you are old enough to know better than to put your balls on someone’s pizza.” “Yes,” said Symonds.

In a recorded call with a store manager the following day, Symonds reportedly copped to adding the unwanted topping. Symonds again apologized, adding that he “did what he did because the customer had called in the order right before closing time.”

During a police interview, Symonds “admitted to rubbing his testicles on Mr. Bradley’s pizza,” according to the complaint sworn by Detective Chris Brown. Symonds acknowledged that he “probably” would have given Bradley his order had the patron not seen his scrotum on the pizza. “That’s the terrible part,” Symonds told cops.

Symonds has been charged with tampering with a consumer product, a second-degree felony. Brown noted that “substances such as fecal matter can be transferred by sweat to the scrotum and could have transferred to the pizza when Symonds rubbed his scrotum on the pizza.”

The teenager, who was arrested Friday, was freed from custody after posting $10,000 bail. He has been fired from Papa Murphy’s, a pizza chain with more than 1300 outlets. (3 pages)