Internet For Dummies (Who Happen To Populate The Federal Judiciary)

With the notable exception of Court of Appeals Judge Alex Kozinski, the federal bench appears to be populated by pensioners with little knowledge of the Internet or its newfangled communication methods. Or that’s what federal agents would have you believe based on language popping up in recent search warrant applications.

In the quest to establish probable cause to kick in a suspect’s door, search their car, or examine e-mail accounts, investigators have been providing appointed-for-life jurists with a quaint précis on the online habits of felons.

Here’s an excerpt from an affidavit just sworn by a U.S. postal inspector (click to enlarge):

This particular warrant was approved by a California judge who presumably signed it with a quill pen and had a recording secretary affix a wax seal to the file.