DOCUMENT: Animals, Bizarre

Mouse Found Lodged Inside Naked Arrestee

Cops tasered, pepper-sprayed South Carolina man

Computer mouse

View Document

Mouse Trapped

11/10 UPDATE/CORRECTION: According to cops, the mouse recovered was of the computer variety (not, as we initially reported, a pint-sized mammal). Sorry for the confusion/additional repulsion.

NOVEMBER 9--A naked South Carolina man who had a computer mouse lodged in his rectum was arrested Saturday evening after he allegedly burglarized a home and later attacked officers responding to a call about the break-in.

Noah Smith, 24, slapped, kicked, and tried to bite Oconee County Sheriff’s Office deputies, who responded by using pepper spray, a Taser, and their batons to subdue the suspect, according to an incident report.

Deputies noted that Smith, pictured in the above mug shot, later told doctors that he could not recall fighting with law enforcement officers. It was in the hospital emergency room where a “physician noticed a mouse could hanging from male subjects rectum. X-rays shown part of the mouse was lodged in the male subjects rectum.” A police representative told TSG that the word "could" was a typo and should have read "cord."

That mistake contributed to initital reports that the mouse found was a rodent, not a computer peripheral.

The police report provides no further insight as to how the mouse ended up inside Smith.

Deputies noted that witnesses surmised that Smith “was most likely under the influence of mushrooms.” Smith was charged with burglary, assault, resisting arrest, and indecent exposure. He is being held without bond in the county jail. (2 pages)

Comments (24)

"Honey, have you seen my mouse? After ingesting those mushrooms last night, I can't seem to remember what I did with it." "Did you check up your butt, dear?" "Silly, that's the first place I looked, butt I could only find some USB flash drives." "Well, dig a little deeper." Note to self: Never buy a used mouse. Another note to self: When buying a new mouse, check it carefully while wearing latex gloves to determine whether it may have been inserted up someone's butt and then returned for a refund.
He thought he could do virtual gerbiling.
I can't think of any other scenario where ergonomic comfort mattered most.
Rectum? Rectum hell, it almost killed 'em
ohhhhhhhhhhhh... a computer mouse... I was really worried there for a sec
He's going to be a popular boy once he's incarcerated somewhere. Able to fit a mouse of any kind "up there" would make it easier to.....well, you know.
His mother must be soooo proud of her baby boy!
I dunno....have you Told her your life consists of posting on these types of websites?
Maybe he was a magician - "Hey kids watch me pull a mouse out of my ass" - and then the trick is that it's really a computer mouse - and then everyone laughs.
Uh, no thanks - I'll just use the trackpad.
I'm not sure what the joke is, but I'm pretty sure the punch line is "Uranus".
It wasn't mushrooms - it was a mickey.
If it was up his butt he would know it...... um, wait a minute.
What sloppy journalism. It doesn't even say if it was USB or 9-pin. Because if it was 9-pin, that's just sick.
We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own. Resistance is futile.
I'm gonna guess Logitech won't cover that under their warranty. Oh wait, you mean...
Well, that accounts for one, so now we just need to find out where the rest of the Three Blind Mice got to!
I can see forgetting you had a fight with several cops while on mushrooms. I've yet to find a drug that not only motivates me to stick a mouse up my ass, but to forget I put it there. "where'd I put that mouse again?"
It's always the last place you look....
Haha, good one.
what the ever-loving f@ck!?!
I *hate* it when that happens.
The mouse smelt cheese in his ass!