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Granted, we've never robbed a Quickie Mart, but if TSG had a larcenous heart, we'd certainly be a better stickup man than poor Michael Jacobs, a bumbling 18-year-old nabbed last month for a string of Arizona heists. This excerpt from a Mesa Police Department arrest report points out some crucial missteps by Jacobs, whose booking photo is below. For instance, if you're going to use a phony gun, don't drop it or it could break into a few pieces. Also, make sure not to lock your keys in the getaway car. Finally, if you expect to sprint from the store, consider the possibility that your asthma might hinder a smooth escape. (5 pages)
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September 30, 2024
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