Yes, That Cocaine Was In Your Dealer's Butt

MARCH 15--After years of carefully reading and analyzing police reports and probable cause affidavits, TSG has arrived at an important conclusion about the drug trade:

That crack you’re smoking was likely secreted at some point in your dealer’s anus.

Witness last night’s arrest of Marcel Foster, 23, following a traffic stop in South Carolina. According to a Spartanburg County Sheriff’s Office report, a deputy spotted a “leafy substance” on the floor of Foster’s 2006 Nissan Altima. He also detected a “strong odor of cologne.”

A subsequent check of the vehicle turned up two bags of marijuana, while a search of Foster yielded $1757 in his pants pocket. Foster was arrested, handcuffed, and placed in a cruiser for the trip to the county detention facility.

At the lockup, Foster was strip searched and jailers “found a large white rock like substance inside of a clear bag in his buttocks.” Which, it seems, is a favored storage facility for street dealers.

Foster, pictured in the above mug shot, was charged with drug trafficking, drug possession, and driving with a suspended license. He remains jailed in lieu of $3040 bond. (1 page)