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    A Massachusetts resident is facing an assault charge after allegedly striking a highway worker with a “large pickle” thrown from a moving vehicle.

    According to police, Christoph Herrmannsdoerfer, 34, was a passenger in a vehicle that was traveling yesterday afternoon on U.S. Route 7 in Vermont. Cops allege that Herrmannsdoerfer threw a pickle that hit Carl Hoffman, a 59-year-old employee of the Vermont Agency of Transportation.

    The pickle, cops say, “struck the victim and caused him pain.”

    Pictured at right, Herrmannsdoerfer was later located and cited for simple assault, a misdemeanor. He is scheduled for a July 20 appearance in Vermont Superior Court.

    Herrmannsdoerfer, who lives in Williamstown, Massachusetts, has multiple drunk driving convictions on his rap sheet. Herrmannsdoerfer was arrested in 2016 in Florida after tangling with police after allegedly threatening an EMS worker with a corkscrew. He subsequently pleaded to a pair of misdemeanors.

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    A man who refused to wear a mask inside a Florida government office was arrested yesterday on a pair of criminal charges, according to a court filing.

    Police say that John Luongo, 34, was collared Tuesday afternoon following a disturbance inside the Indian River County tax collector’s office. Luongo, a Vero Beach resident, was charged with trespassing and resisting arrest, both misdemeanors.

    An administrator told cops that she approached Luongo after hearing him “aggressively raising” his voice inside the office. The worker, Lori Bloom, said she told Luongo to “lower his voice and put his mask on inside the office.”

    When Luongo refused to comply, Bloom said, she asked him “to do so again or else he would have to leave the office.” When Luongo refused to “lower his voice, put the mask on, and leave,” Bloom summoned a sheriff’s deputy who was working an off-duty detail in the county building.

    Seen above, Luongo was booked into the county jail, from which he was later released after posting $1000 bond. Luongo--whose rap sheet includes burglary, grand theft, and battery convictions--is scheduled for arraignment on June 30.

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    A woman arrested for yanking her boyfriend’s hair told police that it was a “sexual thing,” adding that the victim liked it “rough,” according to an arrest affidavit.

    Floridian Marnie Faxon, 48, was busted yesterday for domestic battery following a confrontation Sunday with her boyfriend in the Treasure Island apartment the couple shares.

    The 47-year-old victim showed police video of Faxon “grabbing his hair and pulling it backward while yelling at him.” A witness cited in the affidavit reported hearing the man “yelling to let his hair go or he would call the police.”

    After being read her rights, Faxon reportedly claimed her encounter with the victim was a “sexual thing,” and that “the victim liked ‘it rough.’” Faxon’s boyfriend told cops she was lying about the incident.

    Charged with domestic battery, a misdemeanor, Faxon (seen above) was booked into the county jail and later released on her own recognizance. A judge has ordered her to have no contact with the victim.

    Faxon’s rap sheet includes a pair of drunk driving convictions, as well as convictions for violating probation and driving with a suspended or revoked license. She was arrested in July 2018 for felony domestic battery after allegedly punching and scratching her then-boyfriend during a confrontation for which she was judged the “primary aggressor.” Prosecutors, however, declined to pursue the matter.

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    Though wearing a mask, a man was not socially distanced from his partner as the couple had sex on a New York City subway platform, an underground encounter that was gleefully recorded and narrated by a construction worker from the other side of the tracks.

    Video of the incident, which began circulating online yesterday, was shot recently in the Flushing Avenue station in Brooklyn. The graphic clip shows a masked man positioned behind his partner, who is bending over next to a steel beam.

    At one point, the man filming the action declares, “Yeah, I don’t care. I don’t mind that shit. That shit is like PornHub to me.” After turning the phone to reveal his face, the cinematographer--who was wearing a mask and a reflective safety vest--shouted to the male half of the duo, “Have a good one, bro."

    It is unclear what time of day the sex act occurred.

    Since the coronavirus outbreak, subway ridership has seen a precipitous drop. Beginning earlier this month, the entire system has been shut down from 1 AM to 5 AM to allow workers to disinfect trains and stations. The lockdown, which will continue for the foreseeable future, marks the first planned closure of the city system since its 1904 opening.

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    Two young men wearing hollowed-out watermelon rinds on their heads stole alcohol from a Virginia convenience store, according to police who this weekend apprehended one of the masked bandits.

    The duo, cops say, earlier this month swiped booze from a Sheetz convenience store in Louisa, a town 30 miles east of Charlottesville. As recorded in surveillance footage, the melon-headed perps had cut eye holes in the watermelon rinds.

    As seen above, the pair had even posed for a photograph at a Food Lion store in Louisa prior to their alleged alcohol heist.

    Police have charged Justin Rogers, 20, with larceny, underage possession of alcohol, and wearing a mask while committing larceny. Rogers is pictured in the mug shot at right.

    Police have asked anyone with information about the identity of Rogers’s accomplice to call them, noting that, “The reference case is “MELON-HEADS.”

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    A Florida Woman battered her husband with a bouquet of Mother’s Day flowers during a confrontation early yesterday in the couple’s home, according to police.

    Investigators say that Sandra Kay Webb, 32, and her spouse were in their Tampa-area residence when matters turned physical around 12:30 AM Monday.

    Webb, seen at right, was upset at the victim because he bought her children “flowers to give her for Mother’s Day.” This “made the defendant angry,” according to an arrest affidavit.

    Webb allegedly “threw the flowers at the victim while he was in bed and struck him with the bouquet.” Webb is also accused of spitting on her husband’s arm and chest.

    After being read her rights, Webb reportedly admitted to police that she threw the flowers, but denied the spitting.

    Charged with domestic battery, a misdemeanor, Webb was booked into the Pinellas County jail, from which she was released Monday afternoon on her own recognizance.

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    Meet Ronald Joseph Gallagher.

    The Montana man, 50, was arrested yesterday afternoon on several charges, including marijuana possession, resisting arrest, and disorderly conduct. He was released this morning from the Missoula County jail after posting bond on the three misdemeanor counts.

    As seen in the above booking photo, Gallagher, who is something of a frequent flyer at the local lockup, was wearing a “DRUG FREE” t-shirt when collared. The shirt’s full kicker--“Just ran out yesterday”--was cropped out by the jailhouse photographer.

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    An Ohio woman called 911 late Saturday evening to report that her “pussy was on fire” and that she needed someone from the fire department to “put it out with their hose,” according to an arrest report.

    After placing that emergency call, Katrina Morgan, 50, hung up the phone. When a police dispatcher called her back, Morgan reiterated that she required first responders to “come put her pussy out because it is on fire.”

    Seen above, Morgan “appeared highly intoxicated” when cops arrived at her friend's home in Port Clinton, a city on Lake Erie. Morgan smelled of booze and was “having trouble walking, was slurring her speech,” police noted.

    No pussies of any type were found ablaze inside the residence.  

    After struggling with officers, Morgan was handcuffed and placed in the rear of a police cruiser. She was booked into the Ottawa County jail on multiple counts, including disrupting public service, a felony, and making false alarms and resisting arrest, both misdemeanors.

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    A Florida Woman who insisted to cops that she was allowed to go topless while cleaning out her garage--in full view of her neighbors--was arrested for indecent exposure, according to a police report.

    Responding to a 911 call “reference to a exposure of sexual organs,” cops spoke with a Vero Beach resident who said that a neighbor who lives across the street pulled down her shirt “and exposed her breasts to the victim and her children.” The minors, the report noted, ranged in age from 11 to five.

    At one point, the witness said, the topless woman “bent over with her top down and started pounding on her blue plastic recycling bin making sure that the victim and the kids were looking.”

    Upon confronting the suspect--identified by police as Stephanie Wright, 56--“her tan tank top was tucked under her breasts and I could visibly see her breasts,” reported Deputy David Ragley.

    Pictured above, Wright refused Ragley’s initial request to cover up. “No, I’m in my garage and I don’t have to,” she reportedly said. After eventually pulling her top up, Wright explained that she had been “cleaning out her garage.” Asked why she was doing this topless, Wright “stated she was allowed to.”

    After explaining to Wright that she was not permitted to be topless if the neighbors could see her, the deputy said that she “does not have an expectation of privacy with the open view of the street and neighbors.”

    Wright was then handcuffed and told she was under arrest for exposure of sexual organs, a misdemeanor. Wright was released from the county jail Friday evening after posting $500 bond.

    A judge today ordered Wright to have no contact with the victims. Her arraignment is scheduled for June 2.

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    After cops found a pair of firearms and a Kevlar vest in his SUV, a Florida Man disavowed ownership of the weapons, claiming he had sold the vehicle “to his cousin John Wick,” an arrest affidavit states.

    Responding early yesterday to a 911 call about a domestic violence incident, cops questioned Getro Gelin, 27, at his residence in Port St. Lucie. A woman told police that Gelin shoved her to the ground and threatened her with a firearm.

    After the victim said that Gelin may have hidden the gun in his Porsche SUV, cops searched the vehicle and recovered a Glock 21 pistol, a semi-automatic rifle, and a bulletproof vest.

    When asked about the guns in the auto, Gelin “replied he had sold the Porsche to his cousin John Wick.” Gelin subsequently “stated he lied about the name, but that he would not reveal his cousin’s name.”

    “John Wick” is the title character in a blood- and bullet-soaked movie franchise starring Keanu Reeves. “Wick” is a retired hitman with an arsenal of weapons for whom gunplay is part of his daily routine.

    Pictured above, Gelin was arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and domestic battery. He is being held in the county jail in lieu of $3500 bond.

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    A man arrested yesterday for twice grabbing the rear end of a female Walmart shopper explained to Florida police “that is how he talks to women,” according to a court affidavit.

    Cops say the 29-year-old victim was walking through a Walmart in Largo, a city outside Tampa, when she noticed Juan Antonio Velez was following her. At one point, the woman told cops, the 6’ 3”, 250-pound Velez “walked up to her and grabbed her butt.”

    The victim said that Velez, 30, then continued to follow her. When she got to the self-checkout line, the woman said, Velez again groped her buttocks, prompting her to tell him to “stop it.”

    The woman subsequently told Walmart management “she was afraid, so they took her to an office,” a Largo Police Department officer reported.

    When police questioned Velez, he reportedly confessed to “grabbing her butt twice and said that is how he talks to women.” Velez, cops say, acknowledged that he touched the victim “prior to making any conversation” with her.

    The “entire incident,” police reported, was recorded by Walmart security cameras.

    Velez, pictured above, was arrested for battery and booked into the county jail on the misdemeanor charge. Locked up in lieu of $500 bond, Velez, who lives in Tennessee, has been ordered by a judge to have no contact with the victim.

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    Incensed that his fellow Floridians were not wearing masks and gloves to the pharmacy and supermarket, a 62-year-old man yesterday warned on Facebook that if he were to test positive for the coronavirus, “I will head right to Publix and empty every Clip I own!”

    Police say that Robert Kovner’s 4:23 PM post declared that, “I FIND it criminal that you enter the supermarket or pharmacy without a mask as if you are either to stupid to understand the danger your spreading or so selfish that you don’t give a f%8k that your endangering others?”

    The post was eventually deleted, but not before it came to the attention of police, who questioned Kovner (seen at right) at his home in Sebring, a central Florida city. Kovner provided cops with a recorded statement, but the substance of what he said was deleted from an arrest report released by the Highland County Sheriff’s Office.

    Citing the “significance of the threatening post made on Facebook,” Kovner was arrested for threatening to conduct a mass shooting, a felony. He was booked into the county jail in lieu of $30,000 bond. Kovner appears to have secured his release from custody late this afternoon.

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    In violation of a state order forcing the closure of nonessential businesses, an Ohio beauty salon was caught “sneaking in customers” to have their hair and nails done, police report.

    Acting on a phone tip, cops in South Euclid, a Cleveland suburb, entered the Beauté Room Salon Wednesday afternoon and found two females inside the business. The name of a third woman, a licensed cosmetologist, is also listed on a police report.

    Cops noted that they would report the matter to the state health department.

    In late-March, the cosmetologist named in the South Euclid Police Department report advertised her nail care services on Facebook, writing that she was prepared to “step out of quarantine” for old and new clients.

    In an April 6 post, the woman claimed that she was no longer booking appointments. “Sorry but I tried, A few bad apples spoiled the bunch! I’m not about to sneak and risk my health, possibly getting fined etc for inconsiderate females,” she declared.