Felony Rap For Dumb-As-Dirt Florida Man

Front-end loader covered victim's Caddy in dirt

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Dumb As Dirt

AUGUST 16--A Florida Man used a front-end loader to dump a bucket of dirt on the vehicle his girlfriend drove to a meeting with him yesterday afternoon, police report.

Cops charge that Hunter Mills, 20, met Thursday with the woman on a road adjacent to Phil-dirt Inc., an Okaloosa County excavation firm that sells top soil and assorted landscaping materials. Mills’s connection to the company is not addressed in an arrest report. While the report lists Mills’s most recent educational or work affiliation as Crestview High School, it seems likely he is a graduate of that institution.

After the woman arrived at the meeting site in a white 2010 Cadillac, Mills “approached in a front-end loader with a load of dirt in the bucket.” According to investigators, when Mills’s girlfriend “refused to answer a question,” he proceeded to commit a felony.

“The defendant dumped the dirt on the driver side half of the vehicle, causing scratches to the top, hood, and trunk,” reported cops, who added that, “The window was down during the incident, which caused dirt to fill up the air vents, center console, and power windows.”

The woman was not injured by the cascading dirt.

The Cadillac’s owner--whose name is redacted from the report--subsequently arrived at the scene and estimated that his vehicle suffered $8000 in damages.

Mills reportedly confessed to the dirt dump, claiming that he “did this in an attempt to get [the woman] to leave him alone.” That explanation did not stop sheriff’s deputies from arresting Mills on a felony criminal mischief charge. Mills was released last night from the county jail after posting $1000 bond. (1 page)