Buster

A man named Pancake battered his elderly father, leaving the victim with “severe bruises and swelling to his eyes and face,” according to police who arrested the alleged assailant on a felony charge.

Investigators say that Erik Thomas Pancake, 38, pummeled his 72-year-old parent during a family dispute Tuesday evening in the Palm City home owned by the victim and his 66-year-old spouse. 

Pancake, who apparently resides with his parents, struck his father “on the face and body,” a court filing states.

When police arrived at the residence, the victim had “severe bruises and swelling to his eyes and face, consistent with multiple strikes as he described.”

Pancake, cops reported, “appeared intoxicated and belligerent” and said he “pleads the 5th” in response to law enforcement questions, though he “proceeded to turn around and place his hands behind his back.”

Charged with battery on a victim over the age of 65, a felony, Pancake (seen above) was booked into the Martin County jail, from which he was released Wednesday upon posting $5000 bond.

In a rampage likely to cause infinite sadness for Halloween fans, a Florida Man has been accused of smashing pumpkins valued at nearly $500, court records show.

Police say Aaron Thompson, 31, came out at night last week and destroyed about 80 pumpkins that were stored in front of a Target in the Tampa Bay area.

A security camera, cops allege, recorded Thompson “picking pumpkins out of the boxes located in front of the store and smashing them on the ground” around 1:15 AM on October 21.

Thompson was arrested several days later after he returned to the store and police were summoned. Brought to the loss prevention office and shown the surveillance footage, Thompson was asked “if he could identify the person smashing the pumpkins in the video.”

“That’s me,” Thompson reportedly replied.

Asked why he destroyed scores of gourds, Thompson “stated he did it because someone was messing with him on Facebook and it made him mad,” according to an arrest report. Thompson, cops added, was “unapologetic about his actions and after smashing the pumpkins he left the scene to go to sleep.”

The pulverized pumpkins were worth $472.14, police say.

Charged with felony criminal mischief, Thompson is being held in the county jail in lieu of $5000 bond. His rap sheet includes convictions for burglary, battery, trespass, criminal mischief, and reckless driving.

The arrest report lists Thompson’s occupation as “violinst.” He has previously performed with the Pinellas Park Civic Orchestra as part of its “first violin” group.

Thompson was born in 1979 1994.

The unmatched potency of a Dairy Queen Blizzard was seen again this week when the frozen delicacy helped end an armed standoff between Washington police and an arson suspect.

According to investigators, Elijah Reagan, 40, set fire Sunday night to his Pullman apartment by using a mortar to shoot a firework into the ceiling. The resulting blaze damaged eight apartments and resulted in the evacuation of dozens of residents.

As detailed in court records, Reagan’s estranged wife told cops that he called her to say, “I bombed my apartment” and that “bad people” were after him.

Seen at right, Reagan, who was smoking methamphetamine, led police on a high-speed chase before his 2012 Kia Sedona was disabled by a spike strip. Reagan had a shotgun, bottle rockets, fire logs, and lighter fluid in his vehicle.

An armed standoff followed, with police seeking to arrange Reagan’s surrender. His Blizzard demand emerged in those negotiations, police say. “Mr. Reagan requested a meal from Dairy Queen as a condition to surrender,” a police commander told TSG

Cops purchased a Blizzard and a hamburger from Dairy Queen and brought the food to the scene on U.S. Highway 195. The chow was delivered to Reagan’s car via a tactical robot.

Four hours after the fire started, Reagan--whose auto had been boxed in by armored vehicles--surrendered. He was booked into jail on felony arson and eluding charges. Reagan is being held on $250,000 bond in advance of his arraignment tomorrow.

Pullman Police Department and court records do not identify what flavor Blizzard was employed by law enforcement.

Drunk and angry that a neighbor parked near her yard, Marcia Morgan, 48, covered the offending vehicle with toilet paper, police say.

Oh, did we mention that Morgan was dressed in a “hot dog costume” at the time of the 4 PM incident?

The Florida Woman was busted Monday afternoon and charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. Cops noted that Morgan (seen at right) was “intoxicated and refused to cooperate with the investigation.”

On Tuesday, Morgan pleaded no contest to the misdemeanor counts and was adjudged guilty of the charges. Morgan was fined $550 (which she can work off via community service at $13 per hour).

Sadly, police and court records offer no explanation for why Morgan was dressed as a hot dog during the toilet paper caper, which took place outside her rented St. Petersburg home.

A man wearing a full Chuck E. Cheese costume was led out of a Florida restaurant in handcuffs yesterday by police who arrested him on felony charges, according to court records.

As several children looked on, Jermell Jones, 41, was collared by cops inside a Tallahassee eatery where a kid can reportedly be a kid.

Before the restaurant worker (seen at right) was stuffed into a squad car, police removed his furry, oversized mouse head.

As detailed in a probable cause statement, a woman told police that her “child support Visa debit card” had recently been stolen by a Chuck E. Cheese employee who had used the card for purchases at smoke shops, Circle K, grocery stores, and a Whataburger.

Michelle Allen, the complainant, said she “regularly visits Chuck E. Cheese” and that the last time she had her card in her possession was at her child’s June 28 birthday party at the restaurant/fun emporium.

In a bit of amateur sleuthing, Allen went to one of the businesses where her card had been fraudulently used and asked to see store surveillance corresponding with the date and time of the purchase.      

Upon viewing security footage from Don’s Grocery & Meats, Allen told cops she “immediately recognized the suspect as an employee at Chuck E. Cheese.”

Cops yesterday went to the restaurant and asked a worker if Jones--who they had identified as the suspect--“was the one in the mouse suit.” After confirming he was wearing the mascot costume, a cop told Jones, “Chuck E, come with me Chuck E.” Jones allegedly struggled with officers before getting handcuffed.  

Jones denied swiping the victim’s Visa, saying that if he had found someone’s credit card at work, “he would have turned it in to Chuck E. Cheese and not kept it.”

However, a frisk of Jones turned up a Visa card with Allen’s name and a receipt for a July 22 purchase made with the stolen plastic.

Jones was booked into the county jail on multiple felony credit card theft and fraud counts. He was subsequently released on bond from the Leon County lockup.

Jones has previously been convicted of theft, cocaine possession, resisting, trespassing, and marijuana possession.

A Florida Man who cops believe was stabbed in a drug dispute was in surgery when a nurse discovered a glass crack pipe, a lighter, and tin foil containing cocaine in his rectum, according to court records.

The surprising find occurred earlier this month at St. Petersburg’s Bayfront Hospital, where Michael O’Neill, 43, had been transported for a knife wound.

“While in surgery a RN located” the stashed items, an arrest affidavit states.

After being hospitalized for his injuries, O’Neill, pictured at right, was booked into jail Friday night for cocaine possession, a felony, and possession of drug paraphernalia, a misdemeanor.

O’Neill was released yesterday from custody after posting $5500 bond. He has pleaded not guilty to the charges.

Over the last few years, O’Neill has been convicted of DUI and numerous drug-related counts, including possession of cocaine, methamphetamine, fentanyl, and narcotics paraphernalia.

O’Neill pleaded guilty last year to drug possession after a jail strip search turned up two baggies containing fentanyl and crack rocks hidden in “his buttocks area.”