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    An accused thief claimed that he swiped a pair of Jack Russell terriers for “therapy” reasons, according to cops who busted him on a grand theft charge.

    Police allege that Parker Capparelli, 28, snatched the animals from their pens on a property in Trilby, Florida. The dog heist occurred around 1:15 AM Tuesday, cops say.

    Capparelli subsequently told an associate that he took the terriers "for therapy reason," adding that he “had not been around a dog in two months and one of them looked like a dog he used to own.”

    When sheriff’s deputies located Capparelli, he had possession of the dogs. Capparelli reportedly copped to entering the 73-year-old victim’s property and letting the terriers out of their pens, but claimed “the dogs followed him off of the property.”

    Seen above, Capparelli was arrested for grand theft. It was the second time in a month that he was nabbed on a felony charge. According to court records, Capparelli was busted in mid-December after allegedly trying to cash $20,000 worth of stolen checks. He was free on $2000 bond in that case when collared for stealing the Jack Russells.

    Capparelli, who lives about eight miles from the Trilby property, told cops he works for Cal-Maine Foods, the country’s largest egg producer.

    dogs, theft
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    A KFC worker allegedly smashed a drive-thru customer in the face with a bag of extra crispy chicken and biscuits after the patron complained that his food was being prepared in an unsanitary manner, Florida cops say.

    According to a police report, after Ronald Jenkins, 53, placed an order at a KFC in Jacksonville on December 29, he became “verbally upset” with a female worker who was not wearing a hairnet or gloves while preparing his order.

    Jenkins and KFC employee Shade Simmons, 30, “exchanged words throughout the incident,” which Jenkins recorded on his phone, investigators report.

    With Jenkins’s order in hand, Simmons opened the drive-thru window and allegedly “tossed the food at Jenkins striking him in the face.”

    When questioned by a Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office deputy, Simmons said that Jenkins was "very rude" to her and “snatched the food away from her.” Simmons added that she let go of the bag and “observed the food land in Jenkins lap.”

    Pictured above, Simmons was arrested on a battery charge. Jenkins claims that he suffered damage to a tooth and had his glasses knocked off when hit by the KFC order.

    Simmons, free on $5000 bond, is scheduled for a January 29 arraignment on the misdemeanor count. The Jacksonville resident, who has been ordered to have no contact with Jenkins, has previously been convicted of theft, trespass, and fighting.

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    A Minnesota man vacationing in Florida made like one of the locals yesterday, stripping off his clothes and masturbating while relaxing in a chaise on the roof deck of his St. Petersburg hotel, cops allege.

    Jason Tietz, 48, was busted Tuesday afternoon on a lewd and lascivious exhibition charge in connection with his nude hijinks at the waterfront Hotel Zamora (seen above).

    According to an arrest affidavit, a female worker told cops she spotted the naked Tietz exit a hotel elevator around 2 PM. He then “proceeded to masturbate while sitting in a chair on the rooftop.” The “shocked” employee summoned a male manager upon seeing the naked man.

    The manager subsequently confronted Tietz, telling him that he “could not be naked in public, and he couldn’t masturbate in front of people.” Tietz then stood up and, accompanied by the manager, walked down the stairs. When Tietz reached the fourth floor, he darted into his room and locked the door.

    Tietz was later arrested when sheriff’s deputies arrived at the hotel. He was booked into the county jail and later released on bond.

    The arrest was Tietz’s third in recent weeks. He was busted on January 3 for trespassing after allegedly refusing to leave a bar at the Beachcomber Beach Resort and Hotel in St. Petersburg. On December 15, Tietz was arrested at a Ramada Inn in Sioux Falls, South Dakota after allegedly exposing himself and masturbating in front of children at the hotel. Tietz was charged with indecent exposure and disorderly conduct.

    Tietz, who lives in a Minneapolis suburb, is a hunting enthusiast whose Facebook page contains photos of various animals he has killed. The construction worker’s tattoos include ink of the American flag, a bald eagle, and the year 1776.

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    Police have identified and are seeking to arrest a man who was recorded vigorously licking the doorbell of a northern California home early Saturday morning.

    Investigators say that Roberto Arroyo, 33, spent several predawn hours prowling around a Salinas residence. While the homeowners were away, the couple’s children were inside the house.

    As seen above (and below), a home surveillance camera captured Arroyo licking the doorbell from different angles. He was also recorded relieving himself in the front yard.

    When apprehended, Arroyo will face a prowling charge and a theft count (for stealing extension cords used in a Christmas light display). Additionally, since he is on probation, Arroyo will also likely be charged with violating terms of his release conditions.

    Arroyo’s rap sheet includes prior collars for public intoxication, assault, resisting arrest, and narcotics possession.

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    A Florida Man denied ownership of three syringes removed from his rectum during a 4:30 AM strip search at a county jail, according to a criminal complaint.

    Cops arrested Wesley Scott, 40, early Friday on an outstanding warrant charging him with drug possession. While being searched in the field, Scott denied having any illegal items concealed on (or in) his body.

    But when Scott, seen at right, arrived at the Pinellas County jail and was subjected to a strip search, he “removed three syringes from his rectum and provided them” to a jailer. Scott then claimed that he “found” the syringes and that "they were not his."

    This explanation did not stop officials from charging Scott with introducing contraband into a correctional facility, a felony. He is being held on a $5000 bond.

    The court filing does not reveal whether Scott named the purpoprted owner of the syringes that had been found in his rectum. Or whether that individual had consented to his works being stored in such a facility.

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    A Floridian who actually brought methamphetamine to a police station to have it tested is now a wanted man, according to court records.

    Douglas Kelly, 50, was arrested last year on a felony narcotics possession charge. After posting $2500 bond, he was freed from the Putnam County jail.

    But when he failed to show for subsequent court hearings, a judge issued an arrest warrant for Kelly, who told police he lived in Hawthorne, a city about 15 miles east of Gainesville.

    Pictured above, Kelly was arrested after calling cops to say that he believed a meth dealer had rooked him. Kelly told investigators that he wanted to “press charges” against the dealer if a test determined that he had “been given the wrong narcotics,” according to a police report.

    Kelly explained to a Putnam County Sheriff’s Office deputy that he had a “violent reaction” after smoking what he thought was “speed,” but now suspected was Flakka, the synthetic stimulant.

    After detailing his concerns, Kelly drove to the precinct "to have the illegal narcotics tested," deputies noted. Kelly provided cops with a piece of aluminum foil that contained a “clear, crystal-like substance” that tested positive for methamphetamine.

    When police catch up with Kelly, he will likely face a second felony rap for bail jumping.

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    A Florida Man tried to trade a bag of marijuana for food at a McDonald’s, but was rebuffed by a drive-thru worker who called 911 to report the unorthodox barter attempt.

    Cops allege that Anthony Gallagher, 23, ordered food at a McDonald’s in Port St. Lucie around 1:30 AM yesterday. When Gallagher pulled his Pontiac up to the drive-thru window, he allegedly “produced a clear plastic bag that contained a green leafy substance” and offered to provide “marijuana in exchange for the food that he ordered.”

    McDonald’s manager Ghassan Awad declined Gallagher’s request and called 911.

    By the time police arrived, Gallagher had left a McDonald’s parking lot. However, around 2:05 AM, Gallagher returned to the drive-thru line, where he was pointed out to police by Awad. Gallagher’s vehicle was hard to miss since it had a surfboard “protruding through the rear window,” cops noted.

    Police reported that Gallagher’s ride reeked of marijuana and that “loose cannabis” was found on the vehicle’s center console. A search of Gallagher turned up a bag of pot in his pants pocket. In addition to a possession rap, Gallagher was charged with driving under the influence.

    While an arrest affidavit does not detail Gallagher’s McDonald’s order, his “excessively dirty” auto offered clues to his fast food preferences. The floorboard, cops reported, “was littered with French fries and chicken nuggets, and molded chicken wings were found in the rear floorboard of his vehicle.”

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    A passenger who arrived in New York City on a flight from Guyana had 70 live birds hidden in a piece of luggage, according to federal agents.

    The smuggling attempt was thwarted Saturday when U. S. Customs and Border Protection agents inspected a black duffel bag being carried by a traveler who flew from Georgetown to John F. Kennedy International Airport.

    The traveler, a Guyanese citizen, was not arrested. Instead, he was not allowed entry into the U.S. and was returned to his home country.

    Agents found the finches stuffed inside individual plastic hair curlers. The birds are often used in “singing contests” popular among Caribbean immigrants. The smuggling of finches from Guyana has previously resulted in the arrest of multiple travelers.

    The seized finches were quarantined and subsequently turned over to Department of Agriculture officials.

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    Meet Alyssa Breanne Zebrasky.

    The 27-year-old Ohioan is being held in the Mahoning County jail following her arrest yesterday for theft and possession of narcotics and drug paraphernalia.

    Zebrasky was busted after allegedly stealing merchandise from a Walmart. A subsequent police search of her purse turned up a hypodermic needle, methamphetamine, and Suboxone (which is prescribed to treat opioid addiction).

    Zebrasky is locked up in lieu of $6000 bond.

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    The self-described "World's Dumbest Criminal" pleaded guilty today to stealing a lawnmower and a weed trimmer from a Walmart in Florida, court records show.

    Michael Taber, 46, signed a plea agreement copping to a grand theft charge during an appearance in Circuit Court in Nassau County.

    Taber was arrested in late-April after he wheeled a shopping cart out of Walmart without paying for a $258 Snapper lawnmower and a $148 Murray weed trimmer. After driving away with the stolen goods, Taber was pulled over and arrested by a sheriff’s deputy.

    Seen above, Taber told the cop he planned to pawn the items, adding that “pain makes you do stupid things.” Taber claimed that he needed to shoplift in order to afford his medications. “Mr. Taber also said he is ‘the world’s dumbest criminal,’” a deputy reported.

    Taber, a Jacksonville resident, was booked this morning into the Nassau County jail following his plea. Online court records do not indicate whether Taber was sentenced upon entering his plea.

    Taber has recently been working at Willard’s BBQ in Jacksonville. In a character reference letter to the court, the eatery’s owner noted that Taber “takes his job serious and does it quite well.”

    Taber’s rap sheet includes a 2005 grand theft conviction for which he spent 15 months in state prison.

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    A South Carolina cop escaped injury Monday night when a deer, struck by another motorist, went airborne and crashed through a patrol car window, landing in the cruiser’s front seat.

    According to cops, a Dorchester County Sheriff's Office deputy spotted the deer approaching the road on a highway outside Charleston. As the deputy stopped his vehicle, another car hit the deer, sending the animal into the air.

    As seen in these police photos, the deer smashed through the cop car’s windshield, landing in the passenger seat.

    Neither the deputy or the other driver sustained serious injuries. The deer was killed in the collision.

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    A Florida Man arranged to receive oral sex from an undercover female cop “in exchange for a hamburger,” according to an arrest affidavit.

    Frank Caponi, 57, was collared Saturday afternoon after allegedly striking the burger-for-sex arrangement with a St. Petersburg cop. The affidavit does not indicate whether Caponi possessed the hamburger or was prepared to procure one pre-fellatio.

    When questioned by arresting officers, Caponi reportedly acknowledged that “he and the female spoke of sex.”

    Charged with a misdemeanor prostitution count, Caponi was booked into the county jail (from which he bonded out Saturday evening after posting $250).

    Caponi’s rap sheet includes convictions for grand theft and battery on a law enforcement officer. Cops noted that Caponi, who operates an auto body shop, has a Death Before Dishonor tattoo on his right arm and a grim reaper inked on his forearm.

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    An Iowa man was arrested today for allegedly exposing himself in an Uber car and telling the driver that he “liked to masturbate in front of Uber drivers,” according to a court complaint.

    Christopher Jensen, 27, was charged with a serious misdemeanor in connection with an incident several months ago in Iowa City.

    Police charge that Jensen, seen above, called for an Uber around 4:45 AM and got into the front seat when the vehicle arrived. During the ride, Jensen “took his penis out of his pants and began to masturbate in front of the driver.”

    After explaining that he enjoyed such illiicit activity, Jensen allegedly asked the driver, “Do you want to touch it?” The Uber driver, cops say, stopped the car and told Jensen to get out.

    Investigators, who identified Jensen through Uber records, noted that the suspect “acknowledged taking an Uber but stated he did not remember masturbating in the cab.”

    Jensen was released from the Johnson County jail this morning.