Enter TSG Raffle For Chance To Look Like Ten Billion Bucks

5/4 UPDATE: In recognition of Trump’s new status as the GOP’s presumptive presidential nomineee, now seems like a good time to give away more sets of our marvelous Donald J. Trump Tattoo Collection.

So send an e-mail including your name and mailing address to [email protected]. Entries will be accepted until noon (EST) on Sunday (5/8). We’ll then randomly pick at least 25 winners (each of whom is, of course, encouraged to sell the temporary tats on eBay).

Good luck.

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Thanks to terrific makeup and exquisitely tailored garments, Donald Trump has been able to conceal the numerous tattoos covering his sculpted physique.

Until now.

This year’s TSG holiday gift--The Donald J. Trump Tattoo Collection--contains exact replicas of the eight tremendous and spectacular pieces of body art found on the billionaire’s sinewy frame.

In case you are skeptical about our research into the Republican presidential candidate’s extensive ink, be assured that our information is as solid as Trump’s recollection of seeing all those joyous New Jersey Muslims popping bottles and doing the Electric Slide on 9/11.

Since many readers have asked for the Trump tattoos, we’re going to give away at least 25 sets, along with a card and an indispensable chart. We’ll pick the winners at random from among e-mails sent to [email protected].

Please include your name and mailing address. And don’t be a dick and send in multiple e-mails.

Entries will be accepted until Tuesday, December 15 at 11 PM (EST). Then we'll pull names from a hat and mail out the loot.

Finally, as you are likely wondering, Trump does have a penis tattoo.