Kansas Man, 21, Busted For History's Most Pathetic Burglary Of A Sex Shop

In a remarkably botched (and embarrassing) burglary, a Kansas man yesterday allegedly broke into a sex shop and stole six X-rated movies.

Well, actually, Juan Aguirre is accused of pilfering six empty DVD cases. The 21-year-old apparently was unaware that the cases he pinched were for display, and devoid of the corresponding discs. Aguirre is pictured in the above mug shot.

According to the Salina Police Department, Aguirre early yesterday shattered the front door glass at Cirilla’s, causing $500 in damages. During a canvass of the area after the break-in, cops questioned Aguirre, who was spotted riding a bicycle in the vicinity of the sex shop.

A search of the suspect’s backpack turned up the DVD cases and a sledgehammer head that was attached to a rope. In a sad epilogue to the burglary, investigators valued the recovered DVD cases at only $5 apiece, according to a Salina Police Department report.

Charged with burglary, criminal damage to property, and theft, Aguirre is being held in the Saline County jail in lieu of $6000 bond.