DOCUMENT: Funny, Crime

Best Excuse Ever For Fleeing A Police Officer

Alleged gang member allergic to "weird" whites

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Weird White People

SEPTEMBER 4--A wonderfully quotable Florida gang member who tried to run from a cop after being found with marijuana explained that, “I don’t like white people touching me, white people do weird stuff.”

Officer Joseph May was at a Clearwater gas station early Tuesday morning when he was approached by Taurus Jabriel Brown, whom the cop recognized as “a gang member from the community I work in,” according to a police report.

Brown, 19, told May that he “would like to be a police officer one day.” The teen then shook hands with the cop, who noticed a marijuana blunt tucked behind Brown’s ear.

“Is this weed?” May asked. “How stupid are you?”

After being asked to place his hands behind his back, Brown reportedly “tensed, pulled away, and attempted to run out of the front door.” He did not get far, thanks to a takedown move executed by the Clearwater Police Department patrolman.

“Damn, man, all this for weed. Wow, bro, you must want to make an arrest,” said Brown, who added, “I’ll plead guilty, I’ll go to court and plead guilty, please don’t take me to jail. Can you tell the judge I plead guilty?”

When Officer May asked Brown why he tried to flee, the teen replied, “I don’t like white people touching me, white people do weird stuff.”

Asked by May to further expound on his thoughts, Brown said, “Nah, I’m playing. I let you catch me.” But he then added, “White people are weird as fuck, doe.”

Brown, pictured above, was charged with pot possession and obstruction, both misdemeanors. He remains locked up in the county jail on $300 bond. (1 page)