DOCUMENT: Bizarre, Crime

Woman Nabbed For Auto Erotic Crime

Cincinnati driver caught multitasking herself

Colondra Hamilton

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Auto Erotic Crime

AUGUST 25--A Cincinnati woman was simultaneously masturbating with a sex toy and watching a pornographic video while driving last week, according to cops who arrested her on assorted criminal charges.

Colondra Hamilton, 36, was pulled over last Tuesday evening in a traffic stop triggered when cops noticed she was driving a 2008 Pontiac with overly tinted windows.

That’s when officers noticed that Hamilton’s pants were unbuttoned. And she had a vibrator in her lap. Questioned by cops, Hamilton admitted to engaging in auto erotic manipulation, and revealed that she had also been watching a porno movie that was playing on the laptop of a friend in the passenger seat, according to an Elmwood Place Police Department report.

Hamilton, pictured in the above mug shot, was booked into the Hamilton County jail on a misdemeanor count of driving with “impaired alertness.” Hamilton was also charged with possession of drug paraphernalia since cops found a “broken piece of crack pipe” in her purse.

She was not, however, accused of using the pipe while she was driving and masturbating and watching an X-rated film, the title of which was not released. (2 pages)

Comments (90)

After I get off, I usually have "impaired alertness" and go to sleep
On the vibrator the words were inscribed "Leave it to Beaver."
To paraphrase the Beach Boys, "And she'll have fun, fun, fun 'til the police take her vibrator away."
Was this part of Obama's stimulus package?
Is this how you get your kicks, on Route 66?
Well, the silver lining here is that the woman has found a sure fire cure for road rage. When the cops pulled her over, they asked if she knew why she was stopped. Her reply was Yes! Yes! Yes! Y-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S!!!!!!!!!
First officer: "I am not going to touch that evidence you grab that evidence." Second officer: "I aint gonna touch that damn thing." First officer: "Hey, I know.... let's get rookie!"
"Pontiac - We Are Driving Excitement."
They need to update the tv show "kids say the darndest things" to "crackheads do the darndest things"
gotta love a woman who can drive a stick
Actually, General Drake: They were already arresting her for "driving with impaired alertness," which is akin to DWI or DUI, but a bit lower on the scale. Once you arrest anyone, you are allowed to conduct a "search incident to arrest," basically a search of anything within arm's reach of the suspect, or, in the case of a driver or passenger of a vehicle, the vehicle itself- all without a warrant (upheld by the Supreme Court in Chimel v. California and, for vehicles, Arizona v. Gant). The purpose of this is to locate any weapons or evidence the suspect could have accessed or destroyed. If they find evidence related to other crimes during this type of search, then they can use it. Additionally, even when conducting a search with a valid warrant, if evidence not included on the warrant is discovered, and the evidence was found in a location the other evidence (the kind listed in the warrant) could have been located, that evidence can be used as well- for instance, a warrant to search for a large stolen boom box, you can look in a large locked trunk, and if you find a stash of drugs, that can be seized and used. But if the warrant is for the large boom box, and you search in a tiny locked container, one that the boom box would not have fit in, the drugs found there cannot be used (can probably be seized, however).
aggiejd - noted, agreed, just hope that they were not seized and "used"... everyone - was this a new version of the electric slide? Perhaps the bunny hop?
Well, this is a surprise ending... it looked like she was gonna get off.
What I want to know is how did the police get a search warrant so fast to search her purse? Also, the warrant would have to specifically be for drug paraphernalia or she couldn't be charged with possession of it. The point is that illegal police searches are all the rage now. Someone has to stop them.
Something about this story smells fishy.
Wondering if one day she'll have to pull off to the side of the road with a dead battery.
Curious if the police, after walking up to the window, asked if she wouldn't mind "turning her engine off."
sure,,you laugh. but those long, horrible commutes are enough to make you want to,,,,,,,,,,,wellllllllll?
thank goodness she wasn't sexting at the same time,,,that would surely have been dangerous.
u sick Fark!
This I have to say,is definitely bush's fault.
Yes, there was definitely a bush involved in this!
Why are you all SO SURPRISED? Vile acts like this happen everyday in cars....all around the world. She just got caught.
What "world" do you live on?
Raymond: Are you EQUATING this POC with teenagers parked on Lover's Lane? OR, are you EQUATING this POC with consenting adults "hooking up" after the bar closes? NOT THE SAME THING, BUSTER!!!! [Hint: If THIS BEHAVIOR actually did "happen everyday in cars....all around the world" we would NOT be discussing it now!!!!!] Oh, that's right, you are too cool to think this is BIZARRE!!!! And, another thing, Raymond, MILLIONS of cops LIVE in their cars around the world! If this was happening "EVERY DAY" we would have had this story before! Now, stop pretending that this happens "everyday" in your world!!! You are not any different than the rest of us ~~~ except your tendency to exaggerate, of course!
Well we women have always been good at multi-tasking.
The person in the passenger seat was her sister Rectima!
Hey she was lucky, it could have been a clitastrophe!
Hmm...The phrase Auto Erotica means doing your own thing not..."DOING YOUR OWN THING"...Hmm...Is this the new super secret method that those hybrids use to get such great gas mileage? And just what do they mean by the phrase …”manual transmission?”…Reminds of the old days when the phrase…”four on the floor “meant something different… And I have been saving this really bad joke since I graduated from college way back in 1982...It just seems appropriate for this case...What is the speed limit of sex...? The answer is 68...When you hit 69, you got to turn around!
Maybe she was watching a XXX version of ..."Beat It"...
On the one hand, I'd bet one year's wages the imagination of discovery was a total aphrodisiac On the other hand, I'd bet another year's wages the reality was a total buzz kill. Too bad for her she doesn't look like Paris Hilton -- or even Dick Cheney's muff-divin' daughter. She'd be a multi-millionare by now, with "friends" in high places -- not to mention much face-time with establishment whores like Larry K., Leno J., Letterman D., and not even to mention those servants in the White House, Major B.O. . . .
I don't expect the bourgeoisie press to inform us on exactly what porn movie this woman was watching. But I expect more from Smoking Gun. Please tell us the title of the porn movie Colondra Hamilton was watching. Inquiring minds want to know.
So, as she drives down the road...is she cumming while going?
Sounds like the Pontiac had the optional Unlimited Entertainment Package X.
Does MEchelle know it's illegal to drive with a vibrator up your tookie? Or is it? Not familiar with laws in Ohio.
Aw, c'mon guys. She was just buzzin' 'round town. ;)
I feel sorry for that vibrator.
A vibrant Colondra Hamilton......sorry couldn't help myself.
what was the first lady doing in Cincinnati?!
I'm gonna take a wild guess she is not a former Debutante.