DOCUMENT: Florida, Crime

America's Dopiest Drug Dealer Is Sent To Prison

Perp wore cocaine sweatshirt to Florida court hearing


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Dopey Drug Dealer

NOVEMBER 20--The narcotics trafficking defendant who attended a Florida court hearing wearing a sweatshirt imprinted with a cartoon-like recipe for producing crack cocaine was convicted last week of a pair of felonies and sentenced to three years in state prison.

Christopher Patterson, a convicted felon who previously served time for cocaine possession, entered no contest pleas last Tuesday to distribution and conspiracy charges related to the sale of the painkiller Oxycodone to an undercover cop.

The 27-year-old Patterson, who was jailed following his plea, has an August 2016 release date. He is pictured below in a Florida Department of Corrections mug shot.

As seen above, Patterson made an unfortunate wardrobe choice when he appeared last year in a Fort Lauderdale courtroom for a hearing in the Oxycodone case. Patterson’s colorful sweatshirt carried the slogan “Stack Paper Say Nothing” and included drawings--baking soda, spoons, an open flame, and a stockpot--depicting the procedure to manufacture crack.

The photo of Patterson was taken by a lawyer who noticed the defendant’s incongruous courtroom attire. Patterson’s sweatshirt was manufactured by a firm called Stash House and had a zipper pull in the shape of a handgun.

Patterson’s criminal history includes arrests for pot possession, larceny, resisting arrest, probation violations, and failure to appear in court. He has also been convicted several times for cocaine possession. (3 pages)