No Time In Can For Notorious New Mexico Car Pooper

The New Mexico man who earlier this year mistakenly defecated in a stranger’s car--believing it was his girlfriend’s vehicle--has cut a plea deal sparing him jail time.

An amusing/revolting court filing describes how Austin Purifoy, 19, sought to dirty up Desiree Holguin’s ride, but instead soiled the vehicle of Gaylon Lovelace. Click here for a PDF of the document.

According to Detective Frank Torres of the Las Cruces Police Department, after Lovelace got off work one morning, he walked to his car and discovered an unknown male--later identified as Purifoy--“lying on his back on the rear seat.” Lovelace asked Purifoy, who appeared to be pulling up his underwear, what he was doing.

“This is your car? I thought this was Desiree’s car,” Purifoy answered before fleeing. Lovelace would later discover feces on a rear floorboard, and other assorted damage to his 2001 Honda Civic. Further police investigation revealed that Purifoy had also tossed a cinder block through the glass door of a business where Holguin apparently worked.

As first reported by Ashley Meeks in the Las Cruces Sun-News, Purifoy just copped to criminal property damage and attempted breaking and entering charges and was sentenced to probation (and ordered to pay about $500 to cover damages to Lovelace’s car and the business).

Purifoy, pictured in the above mug shot, has reportedly enlisted in the Army. It is unclear what drove him to try and strike out at his girlfriend, who was reportedly in Las Vegas at the time of Purifoy’s misdirected defecation.

Comments (5)

He's joined the Army? Surely the army isn't going to give this moron a gun
Is This Guy wearing Lip Stick? If so He should like the U.S. Army now because they've got lot's of MEN! That's not My line by the way. I heard it from an Army Doctor who was examining the Draftee's when one of them told Him Doctor I'm Gay, to which He replied "Good, then You should like being in the Army because they've got lot's of Men, Next!" Too funny. Kind of like Paulie Shore - In The Army Now - when He found out they were going to Chad & told His Commanding Officer that He and His Buddy were Gay. The C.O. said Oh I see. In that case Boy's I guess You're not going to Chad. Just one thing. Kiss Him! What? Go ahead Kiss Him. Paulie and the other Guy try but can't do it. Is it Hot in Chad? www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mGuf5q2vqI
He's already failed Target Identification once...
Rarely could a woman look back and say with so much confidence, "yes, I believe breaking up with him was the right thing to do."
*First* Would this make him a "poopetrator"?