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    A career criminal is locked up on a domestic battery rap for allegedly dousing her 70-year-old father with a bottle of Cool Mint Listerine during an argument at the Florida home they share.

    According to police, Elaine Robinson, 47, became “agitated” as she quarrelled Wednesday afternoon with her father Marvin. At one point, Robinson retrieved a “1 Liter bottle of Listerine Cool Mint and splashed” the mouthwash all over her father’s face.

    The incident, cops noted, was observed by an independent witness. The elder Robinson was not injured in the mouthwash attack.

    Robinson was arrested for misdemeanor domestic battery and booked into the Pinellas County jail, where she is locked up in lieu of $5000 bond.

    While a police report notes that Robinson, pictured below, does not have any prior battery convictions, her lengthy rap sheep includes a voluntary manslaughter conviction for which she served seven years in prison.

    Robinson, who has been in and out of state prison over the past 25 years, has also been convicted of grand theft, cocaine sales, possession of stolen property, and disorderly intoxication.

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    A grand jury has declined to indict the Kentucky woman who was wearing an “I Heart Crystal Meth” t-shirt when arrested last year for allegedly trafficking in crystal methamphetamine, court records reveal.

    Grand jurors in Laurel County last week voted “No True Bill” in the cases of Deborah Asher, 37, and codefendant Richard Rice, 57.

    The panel’s May 15 decision effectively dismisses felony narcotics charges filed against the pair, who were arrested last November “in possession of 3.37 grams of crystal meth and a set of digital scales,” according to sheriff’s investigators.

    Circuit Court documents show that “no witness appeared” before the grand jury, apparently prompting jurors to reject charges against Asher and Rice. A sheriff’s spokesperson said he was attempting to determine why investigators did not testify before the panel.

    Following Asher’s collar, cops circulated the above photo of her that was snapped at the Laurel County detention facility. Asher spent about three months in the jail before being extradited to Ohio to face unrelated charges.

    Rice is in the Laurel County lockup serving a three-year sentence in a narcotics case that preceded his arrest with Asher.

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    A Michigan woman arrested last year for biting off part of her boyfriend’s ear during a fight in their home has cut a plea deal that spares her jail time but requires enrollment in anger management classes as part of a probation term.

    Danielle Nebelung, 32, entered a no contest plea Friday to a single misdemeanor domestic violence charge, according to Circuit Court records. Pictured at right, Nebelung was originally charged with two other counts, including felony assault with intent to maim.

    According to cops, Nebelung attacked Anthony Caruso last March in the suburban Detroit home they shared. In a court filing, Caruso charged that Nebelung, who has worked as a makeup artist, jumped on his back and began chomping on his ear “like a dog would.”

    The portion of Caruso's ear that was torn off by Nebelung was later surgically reattached.

    While Nebelung’s criminal case has closed out, she remains a defendant in a personal injury lawsuit filed last October by Caruso, who is also suing a Macomb Township bar where Nebelung (seen below) was allegedly overserved on the night of the bite.

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    A Florida man is facing a felony charge after allegedly battering a female relative because he “did not agree with the way she was cooking hard boiled eggs,” police report.

    Cory Lee Shinkman, 23, was collared last week following a confrontation in the St. Petersburg home he shares with the victim and other family members.

    According to cops, after Shinkman argued with his cousin about the boiled eggs, he followed her out the back door “and pushed her against a dresser and scratched her.”

    When questioned by police, Shinkman reportedly “admitted the offense,” but said that his cousin “pushed him inside the house first.” A witness, however, contradicted Shinkman’s claim that the woman was responsible for escalating the incident.

    Shinkman, whose rap sheet includes a prior battery conviction, was freed from the Pinellas County jail after posting $1500 bond.

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    A Florida landscaper is jailed on felony animal cruelty charges for deliberately driving a large riding mower over a group of ducklings, according to court records.

    Investigators allege that Jason Falbo, 25, slaughtered the ducklings as he cut grass earlier this month at a property in Palm Beach county.

    According to a harrowing probable cause statement, witnesses told a sheriff’s deputy that Falbo (seen at right) drove the mower directly at a Muscovy duck and her 11 ducklings. “The lawn man then ran directly over the ducklings and body parts were scattered all over the lawn,” police reported.

    Two witnesses “observed the ducklings being chopped into little pieces,” the statement notes.

    After passing over the ducklings, Falbo allegedly “stopped and backed the lawn mower up and moved forward again killing more ducklings.” As neighbors ran out to stop Falbo, he allegedly ran over more ducklings and began “aiming for the mother and two remaining ducklings.”

    When confronted by a witness, Falbo reportedly claimed, “They were in my path so I just kept mowing.” It was Falbo’s first day on the job, according to an owner of the lawn care company for which the alleged duckling killer worked.

    “Due to eye witness testimony by three people, nine baby ducks lost their lives cruelly and viciously with extreme intent by Jason Falbo,” the probable cause statement charges.

    Falbo is locked up in the Palm Beach County jail on $27,000 bail. He has been charged with separate animal cruelty counts for each of the nine ducklings killed as a result of the May 3 carnage.

    In July 2013, a South Carolina motorist pleaded no contest to a mistreatment of animals charge after he intentionally ran over a female mallard duck and several ducklings with his BMW coupe. Police reported that while “all vehicular traffic stopped” while the ducks crossed a Myrtle Beach road, Robert Allen Willard, 72, “intentionally sped up and hit the mother duck and several ducklings.” Willard paid a $469 fine to settle the misdemeanor case.

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    Van Halen’s brown M&M's. Mariah Carey’s bendy straws. Queen Latifah’s Rough Rider condoms. Jay-Z’s Maybach. M.I.A.’s cave-aged Gruyere.

    Concert riders, as TSG visitors have come to learn, are often filled with the unique demands of pampered millionaires. Usually, as an artist gets bigger, so does there list of backstage requirements.

    But in a stunning departure, a star has actually flushed one of music’s most amusing demands from her 2015 tour rider.

    That’s right, Mary J. Blige is no longer requiring concert promoters to procure a new toilet seat for her to sit upon in her dressing room bathroom. It is a mystery why the 44-year-old R&B singer has dropped her toilet seat demand.

    While Blige’s current rider reduces a promoter’s Kohler-releated costs, the singer requires two chauffeur-driven Cadillac Escalades with “captains chairs, dark tinted windows (must be black)” and a separate luggage van. It is unclear why Blige needs two SUVs (her band and crew travel in four passenger vans).

    Blige’s dressing room, the rider stipulates, must be a dairy- and pork-free zone that is stocked with both a “tub” of Red Vines licorice and a large package of Twizzlers cherry licorice. The performer also needs “Paul Newman” balsamic vinaigrette and Hidden Valley ranch dressing.

    Like many divas, Blige is a fan of Diptyque candles (though not all scents). “(2- Turbereuse, 2 Baes)... ONLY!!,” the rider declares in bold type. Diptyque describes its Tubéreuse candle ($30 for the small size) as “enigmatic and beguiling,” while the Baies candle reportedly “expresses the irresistible freshness of a bouquet of roses, sweetened with blackcurrant leaves.”

    Blige begins a short European tour next month with a set at the Glastonbury Festival in England.

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    In denying that he sexually assaulted a woman, an Iowa man told cops that the victim was “not even rapable” by his standards, according to court records.

    William Miller, 36, was named in a May 7 criminal complaint charging him with felony sexual abuse in connection with the alleged attack last year.

    According to police, the victim “was with friends drinking and hanging out” at an Iowa City home. When “everyone went to sleep,” Miller removed the incapacitated woman’s pants and “began having sex with her.”

    The attack last May was interrupted by a friend of the victim, who ordered Miller to “get away.” Miller then departed the residence. The friend, cops report, “was able to wake the victim and get her to the hospital for an exam.”

    When questioned by cops, Miller admitted having sex with the woman, but claimed that the encounter was consensual. As reported by the Iowa City Police Department, Miller “classified the victim as ‘not even rapable’ by his own standards.”

    Miller, who lives in Coralville, an Iowa City suburb, is pictured in the above mug shot. Locked up in lieu of $26,000 bail, Miller is also facing theft, public intoxication, and interference with official acts charges.

    In the last two years, Miller has been convicted of domestic abuse, theft, harassment, marijuana possession, public intoxication, and trespass, court records show.

    Iowa, rape
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    Meet Anna Piccioli.

    The Massachusetts woman, 26, was arrested Wednesday evening for assaulting a cop, resisting arrest, and attempting to flee from custody.

    According to cops, Piccioli was taken into protective custody because she was too intoxicated to care for herself. En route to the police station, Piccioli screamed at officers and kicked the cruiser’s doors, roof, and partition.

    Upon arrival at the station, Piccioli broke free and ran down a hallway, prompting a female officer to give chase and tackle her. The cop was slightly injured while corralling Piccioli, a Waltham resident.

    Before being released on $200 bail, Piccioli posed for the above fetching mug shot. It is unclear what she later did with that dampened digit.

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    In what appears to be a record for drunken lawn mower joyriding, an Indiana man’s blood alcohol content was nearly six times the legal limit, according to cops who received reports that the suspect was driving in traffic with his daughter on his lap.

    Trevor Bates, 27, was cited Saturday after witnesses called 911 to report that an intoxicated man was driving a lawn mower erratically on an Evansville street.

    Police report that Bates had a .445 blood alcohol content (the legal limit is .08). Bates was not arrested at the scene since he was not atop the lawnmower when officers arrived. Instead, Bates was given a summons for public intoxication.

    Court records show that Bates’s rap sheet includes two drunk driving arrests, two public intoxication busts, and collars for battery and resisting arrest. He is pictured above in a mug shot taken following an arrest last year.

    While Bates’s BAC was excessive, he barely approached the mind boggling .720 recorded by an Oregon woman, or the .708 notched by a South Dakota motorist.

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    While today’s NFL indictment charging Tom Brady with conspiracy asserts that New England Patriots brass was unaware that the star quaterback and his codefendants were deflating balls, the team engaged in some obstruction of justice as league investigators zeroed in on targets.

    According to the report authored by attorney Theodore Wells and his Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrrison cohorts, Patriots lawyers repeatedly refused to make locker room attendant Jim McNally available for a crucial follow-up interview.

    The Wells report offers compelling evidence that McNally deflated footballs before January's AFC Championship Game, and that he did this in conjunction with Brady (seen in the above mug shot) and John Jastremski, the team’s equipment assistant.

    The 37-year-old Brady was interviewed once and was accompanied to the Q&A by his “agents and lawyers,” Wells reported.

    Since McNally was one of the first Patriots employees interviewed by Wells & Co., the investigators sought a second meeting after they had conducted a series of subsequent interviews and developed other information. In fact, NFL investigators made five separate written requests to the Patriots for a follow-up interview with McNally.

    The Patriots, however, declined to produce McNally and even “communicated an unwillingness even to advise McNally of our request for a follow-up interview.” The Wells report adds that, “We do not know definitively whether McNally was, in fact, informed of our request.”

    The team’s stonewalling ran counter to its “public pronouncements of full cooperation with the investigation,” and amounted to a violation of league rules, Wells concluded.

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    As if getting arrested for drug smuggling was not bad enough, a Jamaican man had to pose for the above evidence photo showing two packages of cocaine wedged between his underwear and a pair of bicycle shorts.

    Romario Lewis was arrested April 16 after traveling on a Fly Jamaica flight from Kingston to John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York. Lewis, carrying a non-immigrant visitor visa, was selected for examination by U.S. Customs and Border Protection, according to court records.

    Lewis, investigators reported, appeared nervous and avoided eye contact and was fidgeting as his baggage was examined. Agents then conducted a pat down of Lewis and felt a “hard object in the area of the defendant’s groin.” A further search revealed that Lewis was “wearing bicycle shorts under his pants” that “concealed two transparent bags containing a white powdery substance.”

    Before testing the white powder, agents photographed Lewis from behind, showing the diaper-like bulge in his bicycle shorts (as seen below). They then had Lewis lower the shorts to reveal the cocaine packages nestled under his red drawers.

    A subsequent field test showed the packages contained half a kilo of cocaine.

    Lewis, who has been locked up since his arrest, was named last Wednesday in a two-count federal indictment charging him with possession and importation of cocaine.

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    Florida police last week investigated whether a kiss exchanged by seven-year-old elementary students amounted to “lewd and lascivious” behavior, according to an incident report.

    Responding to “allegations” that the children kissed “on the lips” during class last Tuesday, a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office deputy was dispatched to the school to investigate, according to the report, which includes a charge description as “unnatural and lascivious.”

    The report, which contains redactions, does not indicate the source of the kissing “allegations.”  

    Deputy April Culbreath reported speaking with a teacher who “witnessed the incident.” Thereafter, Culbreath concluded that there was “no indication that there was anything sexual about this incident” and no evidence that Florida state law had been violated.

    “This case should be closed unfounded,” Culbreath noted.

    Florida, Kiss
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    A woman wearing a t-shirt with the words “Won't Be Caught” is being sought by police in connection with the theft last month of nearly $1500 worth of merchandise from a beauty supply store in Florida.

    Police today released store surveillance images of the suspect and a female accomplice in an attempt to generate information from the public as to the identity of the two women.

    According to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office, the women swiped $1478 in cologne and perfume from Tampa’s Ulta Beauty Supply store during the March 15 heist. The stolen goods were placed in a bag that one woman had stashed in her purse.

    Investigators report that the duo “fled the scene in a newer model bright blue Hyundai.”

    The suspects are each described as 5’ 5” tall and 200 pounds.