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    Meet Chiquita “Big Momma” McPherson.

    The 40-year-old Connecticut woman was arrested Saturday on charges that she ran a large heroin distribution ring and used her 10-year-old son to deliver the drug to street-level dealers.

    McPherson and her alleged partner, Leroy “Baby Lee” Bember, 50, were collared following an undercover operation by the Stratford Police Department. During a raid on the couple’s home, police seized heroin, cocaine, and narcotics packaging material.

    Investigators charge the pair’s residence doubled as a drug factory, with McPherson in charge of processing raw heroin and packaging it for sale. As part of the narcotics operation, McPherson allegedly directed her youngest child to deliver heroin to the ring’s dealers.

    Seen above, McPherson, a mother of four, was charged with narcotics sales, operating a drug factory, and conspiracy. For allegedly involving her son, McPherson was also charged with risk of injury to a child.

    Free on $20,000 bond, McPherson is scheduled for a May 31 arraignment on the felony counts. Bember, a convicted felon whose rap sheet includes narcotics convictions, is locked up in lieu of $100,000 bond.

    McPherson and Bember are seen in the below photo, which was uploaded to McPherson’s Facebook page a few days before the duo’s arrest.

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    After being arrested Friday for stealing items from a jeweler in a Florida mall, Prolancia Aquila Turner, 26, was pissed.

    Not at herself, of course, for hiding earrings valued at $12.50 in the waistband of her pants.

    Instead, the “crying and angry” Turner, 26, was miffed because, as she told police, “Everyone steals from this store. Why are you picking on me?”

    Seen in the adjacent mug shot, Turner was charged with retail theft for pilfering the merchandise from a Claire’s outlet in a Vero Beach mall. She is scheduled for a June 7 court appearance in connection with the misdemeanor count.

    Turner’s rap sheet includes two other theft arrests, both in 2015. It is unknown whether she considers those collars equally unjust as her latest bust.

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    A Walmart shopper arrested Saturday night for stealing a sex toy, lubricant, and a “vibrating penis ring” told police that she was “too lazy” to pay for the items, which she had stashed in her purse.

    Therasa Prine, 25, was collared after exiting a Walmart in St. Petersburg, according to an arrest affidavit.

    While Prine paid for some items, she allegedly sought to boost other goods, including a Trojan Ultra Touch personal massager, K-Y Intense Arousal Gel, and a LifeStyles vibrating ring.

    In addition to a shoplifting count, Prine is facing narcotics charges since cops found marijuana and the painkiller Dilaudid in her purse.

    Prine, pictured above, bonded out of jail Sunday after posting $4250.

    Prine’s rap sheet includes collars for grand theft, domestic battery, marijuana possession, resisting arrest, morphine possession, driving with a suspended or revoked license, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

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    A woman yesterday allegedly stabbed a Colorado man in the shoulder “after he refused to have sex with her,” according to police.

    The stabbing, cops say, occurred at 1:37 AM Wednesday in Colorado Springs. The victim dialed 911 to report he had been “stabbed in the shoulder and was bleeding.”

    When officers subsequently located the man, he “reported that he was stabbed by a white female after he refused to have sex with her.” A Colorado Springs Police Department report does not identify the victim or his assailant.

    The man was subsequently transported to a local hospital where he received treatment for a “non-life threatening stab wound to his shoulder.”

    No arrests have been made in connection with the attack, details of which are scant since the victim has not been fully cooperative with police or medical personnel.

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    A South Carolina man seeking to “get back at” an unfaithful ex-girlfriend is facing criminal charges after a cop caught him spray painting the word "CHEETER" on the woman’s car.

    Timothy Lee Trammell, 36, was nabbed Friday after a Union County Sheriff’s Office deputy spotted him vandalizing the auto outside a One Stop convenience store in the town of Jonesville. Trammell’s ex, cops report, works at the business.

    Trammell, who was first spotted crouched next to the vehicle with a can of spray paint in his hand, tried to run from an approaching deputy, but was quickly apprehended. According to a sheriff's report, Trammell subsequently confessed to the vandalism, explaining that he was trying "to get back at her."

    Police estimated that Trammell’s tagging caused $500 in damages to the victim’s 2013 Chevy Sonic.

    As seen above, cops photographed Trammell’s misspelled handiwork for evidentiary (and entertainment) purposes.

    In addition to the vandalism count, Trammell (seen at left) was charged with marijuana possession after a post-arrest search turned up a joint. Trammell may also be hit with narcotics possession charges since investigators also discovered two controlled substances--Lortab and Suboxone--in a cigarette pack found in his pocket.

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    An Oklahoma man found walking naked on a Tulsa street explained that his cuckoo behavior was due to “coco puffs.”

    According to police, James Knox, 35, was spotted strolling "fully naked" Saturday afternoon by a cop who subsequently arrested him for indecent exposure and public intoxication.

    Since Knox, pictured above, appeared to be in an altered state, he was initially transported to a Tulsa hospital. While being examined by medical personnel, Knox revealed that he had been smoking "coco puffs," street slang for cigarettes stuffed with crack cocaine rocks.

    Upon release from the hospital, Know was brought to the county jail, where he is being held in lieu of $2100 bond.

    Knox is scheduled for a May 13 court appearance.

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    Police are hunting for a pair of thieves who stole nearly $500 worth of Bibles from a Christian bookstore in Massachusetts.

    Cops in West Springfield report that the shoplifters boosted the Good Books Saturday evening from the Morning Star bookstore. The suspects swiped eight Bibles, each of which cost $60.

    According to its web site, the Morning Star chain “provides resources for all Christian denominations” and stocks a “wide selection of Bibles, artwork, gifts, church resources, prayer shawls, annointing oil, plus thousands of books, DVDs, and CDs.”

    In a bid to capture the Bible thieves, police released the above surveillance images of the two suspects in the April 23 heist.

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    Meet Katherine Cole.

    After her girlfriend refused to have sex last night, the 28-year-old allegedly doused her paramour with beer and then threw a table inside the couple’s South Carolina residence, cops charge.

    Responding to a 10:30 PM disturbance call, police found the victim, 28, “covered in beer” and “visibly upset and crying” outside the Myrtle Beach home she shares with Cole. The woman told officers that Cole put her in a headlock before drenching her in beer.

    After a struggle with police, the agitated Cole was detained and questioned by patrolmen.

    According to a police report, Cole said that she got into a verbal argument with her girlfriend because the woman "refused to have sex." While Cole reportedly then copped to “throwing a beer” and tossing a table, she denied “putting the victim into a headlock or otherwise assaulting the victim.”

    Pictured above, Cole was charged with simple assault, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest, all misdemeanors.

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    A Florida man discovered passed out behind the wheel of an SUV carrying his children had a blood alcohol level of .604, more than seven times the legal limit, police report.

    According to cops, Stephen Allbritton was found slumped inside a Ford Explorer around 11 AM Friday. The vehicle, which was not running but had its hazard lights on, was parked at an intersection in Estero, the village where Allbritton resides.

    Allbritton’s teenage daughter was in the front passenger seat, while his son, also a juvenile, was in a back seat.

    Sheriff’s deputies repeatedly sought to wake Allbritton, but met with little success. At one point, he “raised his head and looked towards” one cop and “mumbled some unknown words and passed out again.”

    Allbritton, pictured above, was transported to a local hospital, where tests recorded his blood alcohol content at .604, according to a police report.

    When Allbritton eventually became “coherent and responsive”--five hours after being found by police--he denied having consumed any alcoholic beverages.

    Charged with drunk driving and child neglect, Allbritton was booked into the Lee County jail, where he remains locked up in lieu of $10,000 bond. His children--who were not injured--were released into the custody of their mother.

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    A New Hampshire man wearing a “This Guy Needs A Beer” t-shirt was arrested for drunk driving after crashing his car Friday evening.

    Joshua Tackett, 29, was nabbed after his Chevy Cruz veered off the road in the town of Kensington (pop. 2124). The auto hit a stone wall, a granite post, and a utility pole before coming to a stop across the street from the Kensington Police Department headquarters.

    Pictured above, Tackett was arrested for drunk driving and booked into the local jail (from which he was later released on $750 bail).

    Tackett suffered minor injuries in the crash, but declined medical treatment. He is scheduled to be arraigned Wednesday on the misdemeanor charge.

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    Instead of receiving cash, employees at a Minnesota auto body shop got their bonuses in methamphetamine, according to investigators who yesterday raided the business.

    Minnesota River Valley Drug Task Force officials say that a worker at Clear Choice Auto Body Repair in Mankato disclosed the meth bonuses as investigators executed a search warrant at the business.

    The employee told drug agents that during a meeting this week, Clear Choice workers were each given “approximately one half gram of methamphetamine as a bonus.”

    The meeting was run by Clear Choice owner Jesse Michael Seifert, 40. Seifert’s girlfriend, Nancy Jean Loehlein, 39, allegedly distributed the meth bonuses.

    During the search, investigators reported, they located “used syringes which field tested positive for the presence of methamphetamine” and a digital scale containing methamphetamine residue.

    Prior to the raid, Seifert (seen above) was arrested on an unrelated driving charge and booked into the Blue Earth County Jail.

    The narcotics probe is “still under investigation, and more charges are pending,” according to police.

    In a Facebook post last July, Seifert offered to sell Clear Choice for $350,000. In other recent posts, Seifert wrote about serving 10 months in jail for drunk driving, wearing an ankle monitor, and serving a probation term.

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    Meet Kevin Gibson.

    The 58-year-old Floridian is spending 4/20 behind bars following his arrest last night for selling marijuana.

    The half-bearded man is being held in a Miami jail in lieu of $8000 bond.

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    A Florida woman allegedly punched a convenience store employee in the eye after the worker demanded the return of a bag of Cheetos Puffs that the suspect had stashed “under her sundress in her groin area,” according to cops.

    Melissa Mower, 49, last night sought to steal the Cheetos and a six-pack of Bud Light Lime (total value: $13.11) from a store in Indian Rocks Beach. But when confronted by an employee as she walked out of the store, Mower returned the beer, “but did not return the Cheetos,” an arrest affidavit reports.

    Mower, seen at right, then crossed the street into a wooded area. For some reason, worker Holly Harris followed Mower in pursuit of the stolen Cheetos.

    When Harris demanded that Mower “return the Cheetos Puffs that were stolen,” Mower responded by punching Harris in the left eye, a blow that caused “swelling and redness” in the “victim’s eye socket and eye.”

    Mower was subsequently apprehended by a sheriff’s deputy “with the Cheetos Puffs on her person.”

    Charged with theft and battery, both misdemeanors, Mower--a convicted felon with a lengthy rap sheet--was booked into the county jail, where she is being held in lieu of $650 bond.